vegansaurus!

I know, already you’re like, OK, Vegansaurus, we are hearing about her stupid goddamn book from literally the entire internet, you made a tenuous connection between her and vegans yesterday, give it a rest already. But we won’t be stopped! Because the TRUTH WILL OUT: she’s queen insanator! She’s the insanator to rule them all! She’s the one true insanator! She is dragging public discourse down into the illiterate, xenophobic, carnivorous mud and WE AREN’T GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!

And you guys, that’s not even the point of this post. The point is, you kind of want to read her terrible, crazy book, don’t you. That’s all right, you don’t have to admit it now. There’s a solution to your problem that doesn’t involve waiting three months for a copy at the library, if you don’t have the patience for that. What you can do is buy a copy at Green Apple Books at 506 Clement St., because they’ve promised to donate 100 percent of their profits from Going Rogue to the Alaska Wildlife Alliance, which does things like protect wolves from being hunted from airplanes, like that horrorshow was so fond of.

So if you must needs buy the book, buy it from Green Apple, OK? OK.

(thanks to Brittney from Eye on Blogs for the link!)

I love stuffing perhaps more than any other holiday dish.Which is why I have never thought of it as something that has to be stuffed into anything, especially a meaty thing. Sometimes this confuses people. To them I say: embrace the unstuffed stuffing.

Classic Sage Stuffing

Like pretty much all my recipes, this one is totally flexible; you don’t need to be exact with the quantities, and you can add or subtract ingredients as your tastes dictate. The quantities below will generally serve about 10 people (exact yield depends on the size of your bread loaves). I sometimes make up to three times this amount. Usually I’m serving more than 10, but the main reason I make so much is really to make sure I have enough leftovers to keep me in stuffing almost long enough to get sick of it.

• 2 loaves whole grain (or part whole grain) bread (I like a good crusty sourdough, but a hearty sandwich bread works too [purists be warned, the bread I just linked to contains a little honey]; use what works for you), cut into cubes approximately 1-inch square and left out to dry for a few days
• 1 large onion, diced
• 7 celery ribs (extra points if they have leaves), diced a little larger than the onions
• 1 bunch fresh sage, minced (you can use a generous tablespoon of dried sage, but it won’t be quite the same)
• 2 cups (approximately—it’s impossible to pin this down exactly because every batch is different, moisture-wise) veggie broth (I use the stuff in a box; if you have time to make your own, more power to you)
• some white wine (optional)
• 2-3 tablespoons olive oil
• Salt and pepper to taste

1. Heat the olive oil over medium heat in a large sauté pan or, if you don’t have one big enough, a roasting pan (I set mine over two burners and it works great). Add the onions and some salt and cook, stirring every minute or so, until the onions start to soften and become translucent (about 7 minutes).
2. Add the celery and cook for about 5 minutes more.
3. Add the sage and cook another minute.
4. Consider adding more salt.
5. Add your dried bread cubes and stir thoroughly so that your aromatics and your bread are evenly mixed.
6. Add some (about half a cup?) of the veggie broth. You want to pour a thin stream around the pan, moistening all areas and not dumping it all in there at once. Stir thoroughly, but do not mush the bread. The bread will soak up the liquid. You want moist bread, not gluey smushed bread. The key is a light touch, stirring to combine, not to meld.
7. Add the wine if you’re using it, the same way you did with the veggie broth. (If you’re not using the wine, just add more broth.) Grind in some pepper. Stir thoroughly, keeping in mind the whole mush thing.
8. Taste your stuffing. If you need more salt, add it. You’re also judging texture: is the stuffing still dry? Is some of it in danger of getting mushy? You’ll have to use your judgment about how much more liquid to add.
9. Add liquid in small increments, stirring to combine, until you reach your desired texture.
10. That’s it, you’re done. You can keep it warm in a 200º oven (covered with foil) if you need to, but there’s no need for baking.

This fabulous & delicious guest post is the second (here’s the first!) in a series of vegan Thanksgiving recipes from the amazing Lisa Jervis. Since you already know how we feel about her (and her awesome new book, Cook Food), we encourage you to blindly follow us into full Lisa Jervis Worship Land. OR you can read her other work and act like you found out about it all on your own. Which you probably did but whatever, I can’t hear you through this screen LA LA LA. Oh yes and the Cook Food website is awesome, recipes and links and other such greatness, definitely check it out.

Big news. Wholesome Bakery is looking to go legit. Currently part of the Street Food Revolution, it’s an entirely vegan bakery (on wheels). BUT NOT FOR LONG. They will soon OPEN EVERY DAY FOR US TO BUY DELICIOUS VEGAN BAKED GOODS PRAISE BE in the new Bernal Heights Marketplace. They are shooting to open by the first of the year and we’re all very excited. With vegan bakeries on a race to set up a shop in SF, we all win.

BRING IT, CUPCAKES.

SF Food Wars announced a Call for Competitors for the upcoming 12/06/09 Holiday Fixins-Off set at their home base, Stable Cafe!

It’s a Holiday Fixins-Off, where 20 home and professional comfort food wizards (THAT COULD BE YOU, LITTLE VEGAN COOKING MANIACS*!) will deliver a cornucopia of side dishes fit for an emperor! Penguin. That last bit was from an SF Food Wars email, it was just too cute to not include. Now, go! Compete! Show the word that vegan side dishes are the best side dishes in the world! Honetly, we should be the best at this, we’ve been playing the side dish game for more years than I care to remember! Actually, I lie, sides are totally the best part about the holidays. That, and being drunk all the time.

To enter, email to heyyou@sffoodwars.com with the following info: Name, phone number, email, recipe name, and dish description. Timeliness and enthusiasm are key because they will select their 20 competitors soon!

Got questions? Check out their FAQ section or email them!

*Need we remind you how well vegans have done in past challenges?? Let’s continue this tradition of VEGAN DOMINATION!

I’ve always been way into Thanksgiving. Instead of costumes, wasteful and expensive gift exchanges, or greeting-card-company-manufactured pressure to express sentiments according to the calendar rather than your own rhythm, it’s a day to hang out with people you love and eat delicious food. (Yeah, I only wish Thanksgiving were totally politically neutral like that. It’s far from it, but, well—I have to remain in some kind of denial so I can carry on with my maple-glazed sweet potatoes, ok?).

Thanksgiving didn’t become my absolute favorite activity, though, until a little more than 10 years ago, when my then-partner and I started hosting it at our house. He worked in retail, so the chance of getting time off to go anywhere was about zero, which made for a great excuse to duck out on family obligations and gather with chosen family instead.

The first many Thanksgivings I hosted weren’t vegan or even vegetarian—said partner was as obsessed with the turkey as I was with the sides. After we split, I found myself with no desire to learn how to roast a bird and a posse of veg friends who were psyched to go somewhere for the holiday where they could eat everything and not have to look at, smell, or otherwise deal with the usual meaty main event.

And so vegan Thanksgiving at my house became the new tradition. The right main dish took a little while to figure out, but years of trial (curried lentil-stuffed squash) and error (a tofu and nut loaf that I practiced for weeks beforehand but could never get to hold together and taste good at the same time) later, I’m happy to report that I’ve gotten it down. It’s pretty and special, as befits the holiday, but surprisingly unfussy to put together (don’t let the length of the recipe fool you). Plus, it’s loved by vegans and omnivores alike.

Squash, Lentils, and Greens in Phyllo

This will make two good-sized phyllo rolls, enough to feed a dozen or more people if you’re serving a lot of sides. Which you should be, because, hello, it’s Thanksgiving. You can prepare the fillings a day or two in advance and assemble the phyllo rolls on the day-of. (They can sit for about three hours before you bake them, but more than that and sogginess can set in.) Don’t expect the layers to stay totally separate when you slice the finished product; things will get a little crumbly. Embrace it.

• 1 cup green French lentils (aka lentilles du Puy; don’t use a different kind of lentil—these are the only ones that won’t get mushy)
• a bay leaf or 2
• 1 tablespoon dijon mustard (optional)
• a little red wine (optional)
• a medium or large butternut squash
• 1 head of garlic (you probably won’t need the whole thing, but it can’t hurt to be prepared)
• 2 bunches kale, chard, collards, or whatever your favorite dark leafy green is (lacinto kale is my pick here, and I don’t recommend spinach—it’s got too much water)
• 1 package frozen phyllo dough (they’re making organic whole-wheat phyllo nowadays, which is so frickin great, but if you don’t have access to a market that stocks it, just use what’s available)
• lots of olive oil (half a cup or more total)
• salt and pepper to taste

1. The night before you’re going to cook, take the phyllo out of the freezer and put it in the fridge to thaw. This is important; if you try to thaw it faster on the counter it will get unworkably gummy.
2. Preheat the oven to 500º (this is to roast the squash, not cook the phyllos).
3. Put the lentils, three cups of water, the bay leaves, and and a teaspoon or so (see the “to taste” part above) of salt in a saucepan over high heat. Bring to a boil, turn the heat down to low, and simmer, covered, until the lentils are tender and most of the water has been absorbed (about half an hour). Stir in the red wine and/or mustard, if using, and simmer a bit more, uncovered, until the extra liquid has evaporated or been absorbed. Grind some pepper into it and stir again. Set aside.
4. While the lentils are cooking, peel the squash and chop it into large chunks (between 1 and 2 inches square). Don’t worry too much about the size; you’re going to mash them later. Put the chunks on a cookie sheet or jelly-roll pan.
5. Add about 10 garlic cloves, separated from each other but not peeled, to the cookie sheet.
6. Pour 1 to 2 tablespoons of olive oil over the squash and garlic; sprinkle with a teaspoon or so of salt. Mush it all together with your hands. If you’re not sure how much oil to add, the squash chunks should be very shiny, but there shouldn’t be any oil pooling under them on the pan.
7. Roast for about 17 minutes, stirring halfway through (all the chunks should be soft all the way through).
8. If you’re going to assemble and bake the phyllo soon, turn the oven down to 350º. If you’re just prepping your fillings, turn it off—no more oven for this today.
9. Put the squash and garlic into a mixing bowl and set them aside for a bit. When things cool down enough to handle, squeeze the garlic cloves out of their papery skins (into the bowl, duh). Grind some pepper in there, then mash the roasted garlic and squash together with a fork or a potato masher. Set aside again.
10. Meanwhile, mince 5 or so cloves of garlic. Heat a tablespoon or two of olive oil over medium heat in a large skillet or sauté pan and add the garlic and about a half teaspoon of salt (I really meant it when I said “to taste,” above). Stir frequently and keep an eye on the garlic/adjust the heat as necessary. Garlic can burn fast, so be conservative.
11. When the garlic is super-fragrant and starting to get tender and/or a little bit golden brown, add the greens. Cover and let cook, stirring every minute or so, until they are thoroughly wilted (how long will depend on what greens you’re using).
12. If you’re prepping ahead, now is when you’d taste everything to make sure you’ve got the salt and pepper how you want it, then put everything in separate covered containers in the fridge until you’re ready to proceed. Which you would do by preheating the oven to 350º.
13. First, set up your assembly area: clear off a few square feet of clean counter space; get yourself a quarter cup or so of olive oil in a little bowl and put your pastry brush next to it; dampen a clean dishtowel. Line up your fillings. It’s important to have everything ready, because you have to work pretty quickly with phyllo or it will dry out. If you’ve never worked with phyllo before, read the package directions as well as this recipe.
14. Take the phyllo out of the fridge, remove it carefully from its package, unroll it onto half of your clean countertop, and keep it covered with the damp towel all the time that you are not taking a sheet of phyllo off the main pile.
15. Take one phyllo sheet and move it to the other half of your clean countertop. Brush it lightly with olive oil all over. Try not to tear it, but don’t sweat it if you do; this stuff is delicate, and there’s a reason you’re going to use 10 sheets.
16. Repeat the above step 9 more times. Refill your bowl of olive oil if you need to.
17. About 4 inches in from the edge, spread a layer of lentils the short way across the phyllo. The layer should be about 4 inches long and an inch thick. Leave about two inches free of filling at each end.
18. Do the same with the squash, and then the greens.
19. Fold your extra 4 inches over the layers of veggies, then fold the sides (those other two inches you left clear on each end) in. Continue rolling it all up and folding the sides in as you go.
20. Place the roll seam side down on a cookie sheet or in a baking dish.
21. Repeat steps 15 through 20.
22. Brush the tops of your rolls with olive oil and bake until they are golden brown on top and hot all the way through, 20 to 30 minutes (consider whether the original temperature of the fillings when judging doneness).
23. Serve to your guests and accept their compliments graciously.

Phew. That got long, but it really is easy, trust me. Next up: Classic Sage Stuffing, Maple-Glazed Sweet Potatoes, and Broccoli and Cauliflower with Lemon-Mustard-Chive Dressing. (As much as I dream of preparing the entire meal, I am not insane. I assign my guests to bring mashed potatoes, gravy, cranberry sauce, and dessert.)

This fabulous & delicious guest post is first in a series of vegan Thanksgiving recipes from the amazing Lisa Jervis. Since you already know how we feel about her (and her awesome new book, Cook Food), we encourage you to blindly follow us into full Lisa Jervis Worship Land. OR you can read her other work and act like you found out about it all on your own. Which you probably did but whatever, I can’t hear you through this screen LA LA LA. Oh yes and the Cook Food website is awesome, recipes and links and other such greatness, definitely check it out.