Check it out: a special Thanksgiving “Wellington” main dish, a puff pastry full of delicious-sounding thanksgiving foods like seitan, stuffing, yams and an “onion-tangerine compote” from Native Foods in L.A., the awesome vegan quick-service chain.
(Why don’t we have Native Foods in Northern California?? This is another terrible conspiracy like the Whole Foods regional buyers denying us Basu’s, isn’t it?)
If we are reading the website right, you can ORDER IT AND THEY WILL SHIP IT TO YOU! But we are hella lazy factcheckers and not responsible for misrepresentation and/or interception and rejection by the NorCal/SoCal border control.
If I might ramble on, Native Foods is the best and even though we have a lot of delicious dining options here in the Yay, we are hungry, greedy and lazy and we want MORE! I had the delicious opportunity to eat Native Foods last spring (the Palm Springs location is optimal post-Coachella dining) and I have been craving it ever since. Also, the people who eat there are hilarious because Southern California is ridiculous. (Zing! Just can’t stop the hate sorry.)
So this hotel in Nantes, France now has a suite called the “Hamster Villa” where guests can stay in a room made up to look like a hamster cage, complete with a giant wheel, a bed of straw, and hamster-food meals (vegan, I presume). All this for 99 euros a night. The deal-breaker for me on this is that it’s just one room. That seems really half-assed. Why not every room? And they’d all be connected with tubes! And giant kids would be watching you all the time through the windows! Wait, this is starting to sound like a Twilight Zone episode.
Just go for it, France! Embrace your hamsterly ways!
I know, already you’re like, OK, Vegansaurus, we are hearing about her stupid goddamn book from literally the entire internet, you made a tenuous connection between her and vegans yesterday, give it a rest already. But we won’t be stopped! Because the TRUTH WILL OUT: she’s queen insanator! She’s the insanator to rule them all! She’s the one true insanator! She is dragging public discourse down into the illiterate, xenophobic, carnivorous mud and WE AREN’T GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!
And you guys, that’s not even the point of this post. The point is, you kind of want to read her terrible, crazy book, don’t you. That’s all right, you don’t have to admit it now. There’s a solution to your problem that doesn’t involve waiting three months for a copy at the library, if you don’t have the patience for that. What you can do is buy a copy at Green Apple Books at 506 Clement St., because they’ve promised to donate 100 percent of their profits from Going Rogue to the Alaska Wildlife Alliance, which does things like protect wolves from being hunted from airplanes, like that horrorshow was so fond of.
So if you must needs buy the book, buy it from Green Apple, OK? OK.
Classic Sage Stuffing (aka Lisa Jervis' vegan Thanksgiving, part 2)
I love stuffing perhaps more than any other holiday dish.Which is why I have never thought of it as something that has to be stuffed into anything, especially a meaty thing. Sometimes this confuses people. To them I say: embrace the unstuffed stuffing.
Classic Sage Stuffing
Like pretty much all my recipes, this one is totally flexible; you don’t need to be exact with the quantities, and you can add or subtract ingredients as your tastes dictate. The quantities below will generally serve about 10 people (exact yield depends on the size of your bread loaves). I sometimes make up to three times this amount. Usually I’m serving more than 10, but the main reason I make so much is really to make sure I have enough leftovers to keep me in stuffing almost long enough to get sick of it.
2 loaves whole grain (or part whole grain) bread (I like a good crusty sourdough, but a hearty sandwich bread works too [purists be warned, the bread I just linked to contains a little honey]; use what works for you), cut into cubes approximately 1-inch square and left out to dry for a few days
1 large onion, diced
7 celery ribs (extra points if they have leaves), diced a little larger than the onions
1 bunch fresh sage, minced (you can use a generous tablespoon of dried sage, but it won’t be quite the same)
2 cups (approximately—it’s impossible to pin this down exactly because every batch is different, moisture-wise) veggie broth (I use the stuff in a box; if you have time to make your own, more power to you)
some white wine (optional)
2-3 tablespoons olive oil
Salt and pepper to taste
Heat the olive oil over medium heat in a large sauté pan or, if you don’t have one big enough, a roasting pan (I set mine over two burners and it works great). Add the onions and some salt and cook, stirring every minute or so, until the onions start to soften and become translucent (about 7 minutes).
Add the celery and cook for about 5 minutes more.
Add the sage and cook another minute.
Consider adding more salt.
Add your dried bread cubes and stir thoroughly so that your aromatics and your bread are evenly mixed.
Add some (about half a cup?) of the veggie broth. You want to pour a thin stream around the pan, moistening all areas and not dumping it all in there at once. Stir thoroughly, but do not mush the bread. The bread will soak up the liquid. You want moist bread, not gluey smushed bread. The key is a light touch, stirring to combine, not to meld.
Add the wine if you’re using it, the same way you did with the veggie broth. (If you’re not using the wine, just add more broth.) Grind in some pepper. Stir thoroughly, keeping in mind the whole mush thing.
Taste your stuffing. If you need more salt, add it. You’re also judging texture: is the stuffing still dry? Is some of it in danger of getting mushy? You’ll have to use your judgment about how much more liquid to add.
Add liquid in small increments, stirring to combine, until you reach your desired texture.
That’s it, you’re done. You can keep it warm in a 200º oven (covered with foil) if you need to, but there’s no need for baking.
This fabulous & delicious guest post is the second (here’s the first!) in a series of vegan Thanksgiving recipes from the amazing Lisa Jervis. Since you already know how we feel about her (and her awesome new book, Cook Food), we encourage you to blindly follow us into full Lisa Jervis Worship Land. OR you can read her other work and act like you found out about it all on your own. Which you probably did but whatever, I can’t hear you through this screen LA LA LA.Oh yes and the Cook Food website is awesome, recipes and links and other such greatness, definitely check it out.
Wholesome Bakery to open in new Bernal Heights Marketplace!
Big news. Wholesome Bakery is looking to go legit. Currently part of the Street Food Revolution, it’s an entirely vegan bakery (on wheels). BUT NOT FOR LONG. They will soon OPEN EVERY DAY FOR US TO BUY DELICIOUS VEGAN BAKED GOODS PRAISE BE in the new Bernal Heights Marketplace. They are shooting to open by the first of the year and we’re all very excited. With vegan bakeries on a race to set up a shop in SF, we all win.
Holy smokes! Did you hear this crazy story on KQED’s “California Report” this morning? It’s nuts! Here are some details not included in the story: While people had been “stocking” lakes in Kings Canyon (pre-National Park) since the 1800s with non-native trout—the lakes there had never had fish—in the 1950s and ’60s, trout were dropped by airplane into high-altitude lakes that had never before been seen fish. These lakes—up to 12,000 feet in altitude—were the primary habitat of the mountain yellow-legged frog, which at that point was super-abundant.
The trout—which were DROPPED BY AIRPLANE, exclusively for SPORT FISHING—found the mountain yellow-legged frog tadpoles to make delicious food-meals, and gobbled them up, which rapidly decimated the population. Consequently, there are very, very few of them left, and they’ve been designated “endangered.” Of course, the frogs’ disappearance didn’t just affect the frogs; it upset the entire ecosystem in and around the lakes where they’d been living.
Now, park rangers have to get rid of the trout, with as few non-fish casualties as possible in the process (that second clause is extrapolation). Any of thatsound familiar? According to the reporter in the radio story, the rangers first tried electrocuting the trout to death, but found that method to be “too expensive and time-consuming.” Emphasis MINE. Their new plan is to poison the fish with something that’s nontoxic to people, so all that revenue-generating (assumption!) sport-fishing can continue during the “controlled extermination” or however they prefer to call it (pescacide?).
Obviously the fish never should have been put into those lakes. But now that the government is finally making an effort to redress the ecosystem, what’s fair to this generation of trout, who are only doing what any trout would do? And, seriously, electrocution? Poisoning? Dropping them into lakes from airplanes? All of that is fucking disgusting. People are so gross and terrible; we can never leave well enough alone. Even “native people” screw shit up.
It’s a Holiday Fixins-Off, where 20 home and professional comfort food wizards (THAT COULD BE YOU, LITTLE VEGAN COOKING MANIACS*!) will deliver a cornucopia of side dishes fit for an emperor! Penguin. That last bit was from an SF Food Wars email, it was just too cute to not include. Now, go! Compete! Show the word that vegan side dishes are the best side dishes in the world! Honetly, we should be the best at this, we’ve been playing the side dish game for more years than I care to remember! Actually, I lie, sides are totally the best part about the holidays. That, and being drunk all the time.
To enter, email to firstname.lastname@example.org with the following info: Name, phone number, email, recipe name, and dish description. Timeliness and enthusiasm are key because they will select their 20 competitors soon!
Squash, Lentils, and Greens in Phyllo (aka Lisa Jervis' vegan Thanksgiving, part 1)
I’ve always been way into Thanksgiving. Instead of costumes, wasteful and expensive gift exchanges, or greeting-card-company-manufactured pressure to express sentiments according to the calendar rather than your own rhythm, it’s a day to hang out with people you love and eat delicious food. (Yeah, I only wish Thanksgiving were totally politically neutral like that. It’s far from it, but, well—I have to remain in some kind of denial so I can carry on with my maple-glazed sweet potatoes, ok?).
Thanksgiving didn’t become my absolute favorite activity, though, until a little more than 10 years ago, when my then-partner and I started hosting it at our house. He worked in retail, so the chance of getting time off to go anywhere was about zero, which made for a great excuse to duck out on family obligations and gather with chosen family instead.
The first many Thanksgivings I hosted weren’t vegan or even vegetarian—said partner was as obsessed with the turkey as I was with the sides. After we split, I found myself with no desire to learn how to roast a bird and a posse of veg friends who were psyched to go somewhere for the holiday where they could eat everything and not have to look at, smell, or otherwise deal with the usual meaty main event.
And so vegan Thanksgiving at my house became the new tradition. The right main dish took a little while to figure out, but years of trial (curried lentil-stuffed squash) and error (a tofu and nut loaf that I practiced for weeks beforehand but could never get to hold together and taste good at the same time) later, I’m happy to report that I’ve gotten it down. It’s pretty and special, as befits the holiday, but surprisingly unfussy to put together (don’t let the length of the recipe fool you). Plus, it’s loved by vegans and omnivores alike.
Squash, Lentils, and Greens in Phyllo
This will make two good-sized phyllo rolls, enough to feed a dozen or more people if you’re serving a lot of sides. Which you should be, because, hello, it’s Thanksgiving. You can prepare the fillings a day or two in advance and assemble the phyllo rolls on the day-of. (They can sit for about three hours before you bake them, but more than that and sogginess can set in.) Don’t expect the layers to stay totally separate when you slice the finished product; things will get a little crumbly. Embrace it.
1 cup green French lentils (aka lentilles du Puy; don’t use a different kind of lentil—these are the only ones that won’t get mushy)
a bay leaf or 2
1 tablespoon dijon mustard (optional)
a little red wine (optional)
a medium or large butternut squash
1 head of garlic (you probably won’t need the whole thing, but it can’t hurt to be prepared)
2 bunches kale, chard, collards, or whatever your favorite dark leafy green is (lacinto kale is my pick here, and I don’t recommend spinach—it’s got too much water)
1 package frozen phyllo dough (they’re making organic whole-wheat phyllo nowadays, which is so frickin great, but if you don’t have access to a market that stocks it, just use what’s available)
lots of olive oil (half a cup or more total)
salt and pepper to taste
The night before you’re going to cook, take the phyllo out of the freezer and put it in the fridge to thaw. This is important; if you try to thaw it faster on the counter it will get unworkably gummy.
Preheat the oven to 500º (this is to roast the squash, not cook the phyllos).
Put the lentils, three cups of water, the bay leaves, and and a teaspoon or so (see the “to taste” part above) of salt in a saucepan over high heat. Bring to a boil, turn the heat down to low, and simmer, covered, until the lentils are tender and most of the water has been absorbed (about half an hour). Stir in the red wine and/or mustard, if using, and simmer a bit more, uncovered, until the extra liquid has evaporated or been absorbed. Grind some pepper into it and stir again. Set aside.
While the lentils are cooking, peel the squash and chop it into large chunks (between 1 and 2 inches square). Don’t worry too much about the size; you’re going to mash them later. Put the chunks on a cookie sheet or jelly-roll pan.
Add about 10 garlic cloves, separated from each other but not peeled, to the cookie sheet.
Pour 1 to 2 tablespoons of olive oil over the squash and garlic; sprinkle with a teaspoon or so of salt. Mush it all together with your hands. If you’re not sure how much oil to add, the squash chunks should be very shiny, but there shouldn’t be any oil pooling under them on the pan.
Roast for about 17 minutes, stirring halfway through (all the chunks should be soft all the way through).
If you’re going to assemble and bake the phyllo soon, turn the oven down to 350º. If you’re just prepping your fillings, turn it off—no more oven for this today.
Put the squash and garlic into a mixing bowl and set them aside for a bit. When things cool down enough to handle, squeeze the garlic cloves out of their papery skins (into the bowl, duh). Grind some pepper in there, then mash the roasted garlic and squash together with a fork or a potato masher. Set aside again.
Meanwhile, mince 5 or so cloves of garlic. Heat a tablespoon or two of olive oil over medium heat in a large skillet or sauté pan and add the garlic and about a half teaspoon of salt (I really meant it when I said “to taste,” above). Stir frequently and keep an eye on the garlic/adjust the heat as necessary. Garlic can burn fast, so be conservative.
When the garlic is super-fragrant and starting to get tender and/or a little bit golden brown, add the greens. Cover and let cook, stirring every minute or so, until they are thoroughly wilted (how long will depend on what greens you’re using).
If you’re prepping ahead, now is when you’d taste everything to make sure you’ve got the salt and pepper how you want it, then put everything in separate covered containers in the fridge until you’re ready to proceed. Which you would do by preheating the oven to 350º.
First, set up your assembly area: clear off a few square feet of clean counter space; get yourself a quarter cup or so of olive oil in a little bowl and put your pastry brush next to it; dampen a clean dishtowel. Line up your fillings. It’s important to have everything ready, because you have to work pretty quickly with phyllo or it will dry out. If you’ve never worked with phyllo before, read the package directions as well as this recipe.
Take the phyllo out of the fridge, remove it carefully from its package, unroll it onto half of your clean countertop, and keep it covered with the damp towel all the time that you are not taking a sheet of phyllo off the main pile.
Take one phyllo sheet and move it to the other half of your clean countertop. Brush it lightly with olive oil all over. Try not to tear it, but don’t sweat it if you do; this stuff is delicate, and there’s a reason you’re going to use 10 sheets.
Repeat the above step 9 more times. Refill your bowl of olive oil if you need to.
About 4 inches in from the edge, spread a layer of lentils the short way across the phyllo. The layer should be about 4 inches long and an inch thick. Leave about two inches free of filling at each end.
Do the same with the squash, and then the greens.
Fold your extra 4 inches over the layers of veggies, then fold the sides (those other two inches you left clear on each end) in. Continue rolling it all up and folding the sides in as you go.
Place the roll seam side down on a cookie sheet or in a baking dish.
Repeat steps 15 through 20.
Brush the tops of your rolls with olive oil and bake until they are golden brown on top and hot all the way through, 20 to 30 minutes (consider whether the original temperature of the fillings when judging doneness).
Serve to your guests and accept their compliments graciously.
Phew. That got long, but it really is easy, trust me. Next up: Classic Sage Stuffing, Maple-Glazed Sweet Potatoes, and Broccoli and Cauliflower with Lemon-Mustard-Chive Dressing. (As much as I dream of preparing the entire meal, I am not insane. I assign my guests to bring mashed potatoes, gravy, cranberry sauce, and dessert.)
This fabulous & delicious guest post is first in a series of vegan Thanksgiving recipes from the amazing Lisa Jervis. Since you already know how we feel about her (and her awesome new book, Cook Food), we encourage you to blindly follow us into full Lisa Jervis Worship Land. OR you can read her other work and act like you found out about it all on your own. Which you probably did but whatever, I can’t hear you through this screen LA LA LA.Oh yes and the Cook Food website is awesome, recipes and links and other such greatness, definitely check it out.
Careful with that gyro next time! AND NO THIS IS NOT RACIST, IT COULD JUST AS EASILY HAVE BEEN A TACO. Ugh okay, I’ll try again. AND NO THIS IS NOT RACIST, IT COULD JUST AS EASILY HAVE BEEN A MEATBALL. Ugh, I’m sorry.
“Yes, thank you! I was called a fool when I was chair of fashion at Parsons and I invited PETA to speak to students. The industry went crazy. I said: “Wait a minute. The International Fur Trade Commission is coming here. I have a responsibility to bring another point of view, let the students decide.” I would say if you’re going to use fur, you have a responsibility to know its origins. At Liz Claiborne, every brand is now fur-free. A woman assaulted me verbally for my fur position. She said one of [her] favorite items is a mink coat, and that furthermore, it’s sheared mink, so people wouldn’t even know it’s fur. I said: “Then you have even less of an excuse. Sheared fur looks like velvet. You could wear a velvet coat.” I’m also not a great fan of faux fur that looks real — I’d much rather have it look fake.”—The super awesome Tim Gunn, when asked if he was the one responsible for no fur on Project Runway!
SFist alerts you to the risk of “sport-caught shellfish” from Santa Cruz county carrying a neurotoxin called domoic acid, which causes amnesic shellfish poisoning (ASP). Of course, the key is that most shellfish people buy in stores or eat in restaurant is commercially caught, and thus “subject to frequent and mandatory testing.”
Domoic acid buildup in shellfish is caused by certain algal blooms. ASP can cause brain damage in humans, and seizures in marine mammals. Sounds awesome.
Fucking Obama and his compromise bipartisanship bullshit.
Remember when everybody made a big stink about Michelle Obama’s organic vegetable garden? Remember how tons of progressive yuppies thought it was, like, the coolest thing ever? Well, evidently, just because the Obamas don’t want their arugula drenched with hormone-altering chemicals and toxic sludge doesn’t mean that they give a shit about what farmers are allowed to spray on yours.
As Mother Jones (ugh, I know, they’re crazy) reports, Obama has nominated a former high-level lobbyist for the pesticide industry for a key agricultural post. In fact, the nominee hails from the very same organization that launched a series of ridiculous and kind of vicious attacks on Michelle’s little garden. (And the same organization that, under his watch, engaged in secret talks with the EPA to test pesticides on children. I will repeat that: test pesticides on children.
Not like Barack Obama has a stellar record on nominating progressives to key positions dealing with either the environment or food production, but this recent bit of news is especially WTF?!
The lobbyist (oh hey, remember Obama’s campaign promise not to fill key posts with lobbyists?) is expected to be confirmed without any problems. But with a name like “Islam ‘Isi’ Siddiqui,” there’s always a chance that the birthers and Lou Dobbs could unite to run this guy out of Washington. Fingers crossed.
From Ben, who stole it from this girl he has a crush on.
Win a copy of 500 Vegan Recipes! Hurry up and do it by Tuesday, Nov. 17!
The clever fuckers at the California Milk Advisory Board will be filming their latest “Happy Cows come from California” commercials in New Zealand. Torture the local cows, but don’t let the state benefit from production fees: such lovely people they are.
Local chefs discover that tofu is not an abomination against haute cuisine. Color us shocked. And hungry for samples!
Another poor review of Eating Animals, from another Gawker associate. Shut up, Joshua David Stein, you are much too pleased with yourself and your criticism.
For the strong-stomached, the birth of an elephant. Miracles: kinda gross! This goes for every human who records the births of their own young as well.
Remember Nicolette Hahn Niman’s ridiculous op-ed renouncing her ranch’s responsibility for carbon emissions? Peter Singer gives her brief, precise what-for.
King of Jerkoffs A. Bourdain says humans are allowed to eat animals because they are “smaller and stupider” than us. Ari Solomon says, intelligence is as intelligence does, bright boy. (Although we should note, Mr. Solomon, that “stupider” is an inflected comparative and most certainly a word.) (Grammarsaurus!)
Publisher’s Weekly selects this year’s best food books; titles include the bizarro Almost Meatless (“almost”? come the hell on), the revolting Lobel’s Meat Bible, and two books Vegansaurus wouldn’t mind unwrapping this holiday season: Ratio: The Simple Codes Behind the Craft of Everyday Cooking, and Salt to Taste: The Key to Confident, Delicious Cooking. Neither is vegan, but both seem extremely useful.
Revolting, slightly terrifying tale of a food writer’s giving in to a murderous impulse and shooting a baboon, and the global fallout.
Ours friends at Veg-Table are looking for writers for their city guides. GET ON IT, YOU WRITERLY PERSON.
A lot of you are probably planning on attending because you’re a bunch of g-d liberal hippies. All the info you need is here, but basically, it’s all day Friday (that’s TODAY!), Saturday, and Sunday. It’s at the San Francisco Concourse Exhibition Center and it’s $15 per day but there are various deals for bike riders and seniors (go on, people on wheels!).
There are definitely some great exhibitors like PCRM, VegNews (also a partner! go vegans!), Compassionate Cooks, International Fund for Animal Welfare, and more. There are also some lame exhibitors but I won’t go in to details because I’m not feeling particularly mean today but let’s just say the happy-meat-eating Prius crowd will be there IN FULL EFFECT. Guard your loins! I don’t know why I said that, just love the expression. Also, don’t procreate with those people. Also, I’ve noticed a bizarre amount of organic baby clothing for sale at these events. Probably has to do with the thing above.
Speakers include the usual hippies and visionaries and sometimes-crazy-people-with-a-point. Oh also, A QUEEN. Except not in the traditional sense but this is Green Fest, what’s traditional about it? Hey, guess what, I’m a Hobbit Wizard!
It’s pretty much a good time, LOTS of people giving stuff away, some good vegan food being sold, and good people watching. I’ll be there so if you see me, DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT. I’m hella crazy. Also, say hi! WHAT TO DO!?
Eat Pastry Cookie Dough is the S-H-I-Z (that is slang for something very delicious: e.g., “this shiz is delicious”). I’m not about to be coy or shy about the amount of this cookie dough that I ate. I ate a lot. I ate enough that if you were to lay these (beautifully designed) tubs filled with (g-d amazing) cookie dough side-by-side, that shit would wrap around the earth five times. I ate so much cookie dough that your mama is so fat and she could not eat as much cookie dough as I did. I ate so much cookie dough that you cannot recognize my scent as that of a human, only that of cookie dough. I ate so much cookie dough that YOU GET THE IDEA.
Eat Pastry is a small company that you might remember hearing about on Vegansaurus. They showed up on one of the design blogs Jonas reads because their design is super cute and fucking awesome. (It says adorable little things all over the package, like “made by two chefs who met in pastry school and have been in love ever since” and “let fully cool before you devour (we mean savor)”) So then we posted about them and dreamed of cookie dough but nothing happened. THEN, I was visiting the offices of the Republic of the Best Place on Earth, VegNews, and they freaking had Eat Pastry Cookie Dough!!! We sampled (read: gorged ourselves on it) one day after lunch and an incredible, insatiable crush was born. The kind of crush you can only stop by eating the person/cookie dough. Eat Pastry’s “website” is sadly missing really any content but with a little sleuthing, I was able to contact them and ask for some delicious dough. WELL BITCHES DELICIOUS DOUGH THEY SENT. Five different types, to be exact: Chocolate Chunk (my fave), Chocoholic Chunk (brownie in a tub, my fave), Cinnamon Ginger Spice (Christmas in a tub, my fave), Oatmeal Raisin Chocolate Chip (HOLY CRAP, my fave), and Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip (my other fave).
YOU GUYS. This is the kind of stuff that dreams are made. Literally, my dreams are made of little cookie dough-shaped people. You were there last night, Ginger Spice. You too, Chocolate Chunk. Eat it straight out of the tub and you know that your shit can’t get salmonella. OR WORSE. Bake it up and know that you have Perfect Cookies. Like Stepford Wives perfect. I wish I were like them, their lives are so great! (By the way, I’ve only seen the first 30 minutes of that movie.) This is the kind of product that you want to throw a parade for. It’s like Daiya, but for cookie dough. I know that the phrase, “it’s so good you can’t tell it’s vegan!” gets waaaaaay overused but seriously, it is painfully, deliciously true when it comes to Eat Pastry Cookie Dough. YOU CANNOT TELL IT IS ISN’T VEGAN. OR I MEAN IS VEGAN SEE HOW IT IS FUCKING WITH ME.
Anyway, it’s currently available in some Whole Foods in San Diego (for the first time in my life, I am jealous of San Diego OH SNAP) and Mother’s Markets. I am assured that they are expanding their reach to Northern California very soon and so we can all get it on it. SO PLEASE, whenever you’re in Whole Foods here, fill out one of those customer comment cards and ask for Eat Pastry Vegan Cookie Dough! And Basu’s Homestyle! And Daiya! And also, ask at Rainbow too. Let’s do this, vegans. Activism has never been so delicious. Except for that one kind of activism that involves sex workers.
So what this shiz is, you join and they send out a daily group coupon (GROUPON, GET IT?). If enough people buy in, you get an awesome deal. For example, today in SF, they have one for a place that has VEGAN PIZZA. You buy a $20 gift certificate for $10! SCORE. Never ate there so can’t confirm on the deliciousness of the pizza, but that’s rad.
No, seriously. Vegansaurus is looking to expand and take over the world and dominate in every way possible. We’re looking for writers.
Specifically, we’re looking for people who are way into vegan food. We are especially interested in people who are really into cooking, baking, and creating amazing recipes. Also, someone with a good eye for current events, especially (obviously) vegan news. Certainly being a witty genius is a plus because we need more of that. this could be one person. or it could be two. You don’t have to be in San Francisco as we’re looking to expand our reach. But we need people who can contribute two to three times per week.
If you’re interested, send a couple samples of your writing to laura @ vegansaurus dot com, even if it’s just your blog or some scanned-in poetry. Actually not that second thing. Please god.
Vegans, vegetarians, and yes, even omnivores are invited to apply. And maybe your dog too if he can use a computer.
First, let’s appease the FTC by noting that we received a copy of this book for free, for reviewing purposes. Second, let’s appease the critics by noting that as Lisa Jervis is a founder of Bitch magazine, we are predisposed to love her. Third, I don’t have any photos of the food I made because I don’t have a functioning camera, so you’re just going to have to imagine how wonderful everything looked, OK? Fourthly, let’s write this.
Cook Food is a little, no-frills book that is crammed full of useful information. It’s written by a (seemingly) very practical person for the very pragmatic cooks among us, by which I mean she takes a very “do the best you can with what you have” approach, with her recipes functioning more as inspiration than rules to strictly follow. This, I dig; often I want to make dish but cannot find one of the ingredients, and do not have the opportunity and/or inclination to go get it. It’s rare to find a cookbook author who encourages you to wing it. This is all right.
I tried out three recipes from Cook Food, all of which I tried to follow to the letter but none of which I did, exactly. The first was Rosemary Mustard Tofu; lazily, I didn’t press the tofu at all, but I did let it sit in the marinade for a good long time. Per the author’s notes, the leftovers did make a good sandwich the next day. I accidentally put too much dijon mustard in the sauce, because I have trouble with tasks like measuring, but it wasn’t a big deal, really.
Next I made Lentils with Wine, which I loved and will definitely make again. For a dish with so few ingredients, it has a lot of flavor, full-bodied and rich and just really delicious. Red wine, red onion and green lentils are apparently the perfect combination.
Lastly, I tried out her version of peanut sauce, which, as she warned, was not at all like the Thai-style peanut sauce I had sort of wanted (despite having read the recipe before deciding to prepare it). This one I fiddled with, a little; I found it quite salty and, I don’t know, off somehow, so I added a lot of white balsamic vinegar and a couple splashes of plain soy milk, and that seemed to mend it for me. Then I ate it on everything; on Trader Joe’s vegetable gyoza; over cold mixed lettuces and hot rice (DELICIOUS, my goodness); as a dip for baby carrots and steamed broccoli. It turned out to be a very versatile sauce.
Cook Food wasn’t written by a vegan; it’s a vegan cookbook because Lisa Jervis believes that eating mostly organically and locally grown produce is healthiest for us and our environment (and she’s right, duh). It’s plainspoken without being obvious, and pragmatic without condescending. It’d make a wonderful first cookbook for new vegans—much better than those “Vegan Recipes for College Students” that teach you how to boil pasta or whatever—but once your skills have improved beyond “beginner” you’ll still find it useful.
Plus, like I said, it’s Lisa Jervis, and everything she creates is of very high quality.
If you’ve got the money, I’ve got the time KNOW WHAT I’M SAYIN GREAT NEITHER DO I.
If you are so inclined/filthy rich, you could spend Thanksgiving doing it up at Millennium. Oh go for it, you have no family who loves you anyway. I mean in the Bay Area! I’m not that mean! OR AM I, PERSON WITH NO FAMILY WHO LOVES YOU?? IN THE BAY AREA. Dang, paranoid!
OH ALSO SPEAKING OF THAT…if there are any stragglers around for the holidays who can’t afford Millennium, you’re welcome to come with me to my parents’ house. It’s seriously a blast. First, we will eat hella mashed potatoes, then we’ll hear my dad lecture about raquetball and/or aliens, then my four-year-old niece will feel you up, and THEN we’ll watch a movie! Probably something with an end-of-the-world or Strawberry Shortcake theme. It’s actually tons of fun, email me!
If you can’t/refuse to make it to either event, you can always recreate the Eric Tucker Experience with his pumpkin pie recipe (Thanks, VegNews!). I’d share mine but basically it’s exactly his only I came up with it first um yes that’s the ticket.
ManzanitaShangri-La Vegan is the place to go when you’re sick of feeling like a big fat greasy intoxicated pig and need to feel cleansed, which is obviously not good for all occasions but certainly has its place. It’s organic, vegan, macrobiotic food FOR CHRIST’S SAKE. I know that just made half of you go, “oooh…tell me more” and it made the other half (the smarter half, some might say) go, “DISGUSTING I HATE YOU LAURA I HOPE THIS BLOG BURNS TO THE GROUND.” However, I would ask you to reserve judgment as I am so often unwilling to do. Manzanita Shangri-La Vegan is actually quite fantastic. Be prepared to be surrounded by white people with dreads who might step outside for a delightful mid-meal game of hacky sack (but you’re used to that by now, aren’t you). Just go with it. If you can’t handle a woman coming up for some fresh air after an invigorating partner yoga session to openly breastfeed her seven-year-old, what can you handle!? JESUS, GROW A PAIR.
Things that are especially delicious: the salad dressings, the kale (I don’t know what they do but MAGIC!), and actually pretty much everything is really good. Except the vegan baked goods. As you might have guessed, I’m a junk food vegan so I know how hard it is to get the baked goods right, but come on. You’ve got time and a kitchen, let’s get to practicing! Less time making daisy chains and sexing in communal hot tubs (SHUDDER) and more time in the kitchen! ALL SAID, this place sounds way more hippy-dippy than it actually is (lie) and the food is way worth a visit (truth).
Sorry for the late notice. But if you’re looking for something more hip to do than whatever you usually do on Tuesday nights, check it out. Get into some poetry-slam post-punk hip-hop David Bowie revival action. Apparently he’s vegan too.
More specifically, the second or third week of November, in Jack London Square in Oakland. It will offer wines and vegetarian small plates. You’re invited to contact Eric directly and ask him to please at least make most of the dishes vegan or easily veganizable. Because that’s dope that he’s keeping it all vegetarian but really, you are ERIC TUCKER from MILLENNIUM. We have expectations, Tucker. Your empire is built on the backs of vegans so do not forsake us or we’ll go totally non-violent and pacifist on your ass!
If you actually read Eating Animals, which you clearly didn’t, or you just hate him SO MUCH that it clouds everything, you would know it’s not preachy. It’s extremely well researched, smart, and thoughtful. I mean, we just want you to THINK about this stuff, AT THE VERY LEAST. Your knee-jerk snarky omnivore response is hardly conducive.
Also, this comment from “carbonadam”:
Any vegetarian who thinks animal life is more sacred than plant life is sorely mistaken. All life is sacred and none from the lowly ameba, to humans, to trees, vegetables, nuts, goats, dogs, cows, whales, roaches and rats is any more important than the other. This “animals are more sacred” than plants argument is nonsense and is rooted in human hubris that is about as arrogant and single minded as it can get. vegetarians can be annoying and self righteous and at the end of the day they still have to place organic matter into their maws that was once alive, as do we all, in order to say alive. I say let the annoying ones who think they have it all figured out grind up rocks into dust and eat that instead of organic plant and animal life.
Is this the aptitude level of the average Gawker commenter ? I mean, COME ON.
Let’s be real: the only thing that matters about Thanksgiving is the pie. When everyone else has forsaken you, you can always turn to pie. Unfortunately, we’re short on pumpkin, sweet potato, and pecan pies here in the Bay Area, but maybe next year!? All I know is, we gots to ask for what we want so if you want these types of pies, email your favorite pie place and ASK FOR THEM! Come on vegans! This is three-minute activism, you can do it!! Okay, enough of the patronizing, let’s pie this!
Alameda Pie has got you covered with vegan apple pie. They’ll be delivering all over the Bay Area but get your orders in, stat!
Mission Pie has an Apple Brandy Raisin pie for the vegans. Get your orders in on the double. Pick up at their store.
Bike Basket Pies is gonna hook you up with several variations on apple and pear pies, including apple-cranberry and pear-ginger. THEY MIGHT ALSO HAVE A PUMPKIN PIE. No word yet but perhaps if enough vegans requested it, WHO KNOWS!? Pick up in the mission.
In The Mood For Food Vegan Catering has a vegan pumpkin pie! Woohoo! They also have apple-walnut tarts, pear-pecan tarts, apple pies, pear pies, PECAN PIES, brownies & carrot-oat cookies! In fact, they have a full on vegan Thanksgiving catering menu so check it out & get your orders in ASAPly! Oh, and they DELIVER.
Rainbow is selling several vegan pies, including some new stuff from Sugar Plum Vegan, including a gluten-free chai spice sweet potato pie and a pumpkin cheezecake. You gotta head to the store to see what their selection is.
Whole Foods will definitely have vegan pies. Sure, they’ll be boring but you know, you gots to takes what you can gets NOW GO EMAIL SOME PLACES.
Oh and yeah, I’m sure any of our local vegan bakeries (sugar beat sweets, violet sweet shoppe, fat bottom bakery, cinnaholic, sugar plum vegan, idle hands baking company, ETC ETC - google them for more info because girrrrl, I gots a job I gotta get back to!) would be stoked to help cater all your holiday pie needs, so don’t forget about them!!
ONE LAST THING: You can always get a vegan ice cream cake (pumpkin ice cream YES PLEASE) from Maggie Mudd! Bonus point: all ice cream cakes are 20 percent off in November!!!
ONE MORE LAST THING: Perhaps you choose to keep it super-fancy and want to bake one yourself. OH YOU ARE SO FANCY AND BETTER THAN THE REST OF US.
We decide to deep fry everything in the house. Including maybe the house.
Honestly, both Hazel and Jonas are lucky they’re still alive. DEEP FRYING IS HELLA FUN.
I’m not gonna tell you exactly how to be you but I will say a couple things. There are tons of amazing recipes for vegan batters and deep-fry dishes on VegWeb.
You have a fridge with stuff in it, right? WELL THEN DEEP-FRY THAT SHIZ.
I also will provide two quick recipes:
Get some stone-ground cornmeal (or just a rough ground, you ain’t got to be fancy with a stone and shit), some flour, some nutritional yeast, some salt & pepper, and mix all that together; now you have a great crunchy fry coating. You can either get some silken tofu and then whip the shit out of it with a little water and make a base for dipping before you coat it in the fry mix, or you can just coat with some olive oil and dip. Easy-peasy, ocean-breezy. It makes a delicious coating on your food and is super-fast and delicious. Trust.
PIZZA ROLLS. Okay, this is Jonas’ specialty and WHAT A SPECIALTY IT IS. All you need is some pizza dough (we used the pre-made stuff in the fridge section of Trader Joe’s! We lazy!), some pizza or pasta sauce, some vegan sausage, and some vegan cheese. Just roll out the pizza dough thin; cut it into triangles; put some sauce, sausage, and cheese in the center; roll it up so it looks like a crescent roll; DEEP FRY IT. Giiiirrrrlllll…it is SO TASTY. You know you want to, fatty. Just do it.
And remember, you can do this and feel not truly awful about it because A) FAT PEOPLE RULE and B) Since all your deep-frying is animal-free, it means its cholesterol-free! THAT’S RIGHT. I believe that means you can deep-fry with impunity. So do it up, you’re hella skin-and-bones, anyway. The only person that’s attractive on is LFB and you know it.
AND YES, that is a Wii Fit in the background of that picture. We use it when we run out of table room for fry.
Our next sale will raise money for Food Empowerment Project, who work with youth and low-income populations to make healthier, more informed food choices AND SaveABunny, who saves the shit out of the CUTEST BUNNIES EVER. Added bonus, we’ll have adoptable bunnies on the scene (!!!) and ready to go home with loving, awesome homes.
Check it out Saturday, December 5th, in front of Ike’s Place (3506 16th St. at oh come on you know where Ike’s is fine it’s Sanchez can’t you go anywhere without Google Maps?), 11 a.m. to 4 p.m.
We badly need volunteers, eaters, bakers, paper plates, compostable to-go containers & flatware, and hella publicity to make this awesome so mobilize, vegan (pacifist) army and email email@example.com if you can/want to/feel obligated to pitch in! Let’s make this happen!!!
This past Friday, the SFPD raided the beloved, the delicious, THE BENIGN Brassica Supperclub and forced them to shut down. OH HELL NO. Aren’t there real crimes going on in this city to focus on? Like rapings and beatings and shiz? A VEGAN SUPPERCLUB. Ain’t nobody getting sick from some cabbage, fools.
The weirdest part, some guests overheard one of the police say that they were vegetarian and that they wanted to stay and eat but couldn’t! I mean, how is that for bizarre? Oh and the cops MADE A RESERVATION. Way to infiltrate, po-po! This is more sophisticated shit than The Wire!
Anyway, not to get all Free Murat on your asses but, is there anything we can do??