vegansaurus!

Check it out, Kickstarter-watchers, Tandem Treats! is a-comin’!:

Tandem Treats! will be a tandem-bike towed Vegan food cart in Portland, Oregon.

We want to feed our community with as little environmental impact as possible. All of our ingredients will be locally sourced, organic or GMO-free, and vegan, of course!

Our menu will include hot dogs, chili, nachos, sushi, kombucha, root beer, and buffalo-ranch pizza. We will also have gluten-free buns!

Tandem Treats!, pulled around by Cicada and Rocks, will be in Southeast Portland four days a week and at local events around town, offering vegan options to omnivores and herbivores alike. We are chefs and animal rights activists with a plan to win over the world with delicious vegan food.

With proceeds from this food cart, our goal is to someday open an animal sanctuary.

I love tandem bicycless. What is it about them? I wish I could buy everything from people on a tandem! Like, insurance! And … dignity! JK, that’s overpriced. But insurance, for sure. 

Tandem Treats! have nice things you can get when you donate on Kickstarter and they said if we pledge $100 or more, we can get a lil’ pink dino painted on the bike! I want!

Apparently this science conference in Vancouver over the weekend was pretty interesting! They didn’t just talk about test tube burgers, they also talked about non-human persons! Man, what did I do this weekend? The only scientific advancement I made was in regard to my tolerance for rail vodka (but I assure you, we made great strides). Non-human persons are much more interesting. The idea is that there are animals with intelligence and consciousness that should grant them the right to life.  

A group of scientists and ethicists made the case this past weekend for “the declaration of rights for cetaceans,” under which, dolphins, whales, and porpoises would have the enforceable right to live:

“We’re saying the science has shown that individuality, consciousness and self-awareness are no longer unique human properties. That poses all kinds of challenges,” said Tom White, director of the Centre for Ethics and Business at Loyola Marymount University in Los Angeles.

“Dolphins are non-human persons. A person needs to be an individual. And if individuals count, then the deliberate killing of individuals of this sort is ethically the equivalent of deliberately killing a human being. The captivity of beings of this sort, particularly in conditions that would not allow for a decent life, is ethically unacceptable, and commercial whaling is ethically unacceptable,” White said.

How interesting! Was this the idea behind Tilikum v. Seaworld? If the declaration were incorporated into law, Seaworld and the like would not be allowed to keep whales. 

The declaration is backed by experts and relies on the massive amounts of research that has been done on cetaceans in the past. Dolphins are said to be able to identify themselves in a mirror, use symbol-based language, use tools, learn skills and pass them on, and have individual personalities. Does that grant them rights? The UN is considering the declaration as part of its convention on migratory species. 

You really should read this Guardian piece on the whole thing as it has the most amazing stories about a rascally dolphin named Kelly who learned more and more ways to trick her captors into forking over more treats! Speaking of which, I’m working on my declaration of rights for rascals. Kelly would certainly be protected under the DRR. As would chimps, elephants, and Alan Thicke. 

You can sign the declaration of rights for cetaceans here!

Laura really wanted me to make a pit bull puppy photo gallery and I only want to make Laura happy! Plus, I have a new theory that looking at cute baby animal pictures raises your oxytocin levels and that that will boost your mood. I call it “Squee Therapy.” So, here’s the babies!:

1. Chuckles

From Ihasahotdog.com

2. “but…but… I didn’t mean to”

From Thedognapper.com

3. “Look, mom! I’m swimmin’ by myself!”

From Mediabistro.com

4. Sweepy

From Thecuteproject.com

5. “but whyyyy?”

From Brandonbond.com

6. Glamour shot

From Thedogfiles.com

7. “what am I forgetting?”

From Cutepuppies.net

8. I don’t know what to write for this one—ideas? Hipstamatic pup?

From Redditmeme.com

9. Pocket pup!

From Rswatski

10. I call this, “cutest shit ever.”

From Themacinator

Yay pit bull puppies! If you want to adopt a pit bull, basically go to any shelter in the United States. And of course Petfinder works too! 

For more cute adoptable pups and a lot of info on the many wonders of the pit bull, go to Badrap.com. Check out their How to Help page for things you can do for this put-upon breed.

PS: I’m reminded by a reader to add that while puppies are the cutest greatest, they are a hassle! JK, that’s not what she said (but it’s true); but seriously, folks, puppies are great but there are plenty of pit bull pups in shelters already so please spay and neuter your dogs! No more homeless pups!

That’s right, FREE! But only during February. You may recall we broached this subject earlier this month, as Chan Marshall (Cat Power), Katherine Heigl, Rachael Ray, and Vegansaurus are all advocates of getting your pet FIXED! There are too many unwanted animals that end up in shelters everyday. Listen to PETA Chan.

Jennifer Scarlett, D.V.M. and co-president of the SF SPCA, says, “We hope our efforts will encourage pet guardians across the city to make the responsible choice to have their pet spayed or neutered. If you want San Francisco to be a No-Kill city, the most important thing you can do is spay or neuter your pet.”

You can schedule an appointment at (415) 554.3030, and learn more online. We also got a tip that people cancel their appointments every day. So if you neglect to make one, or all the spaces are filled, you could still get in by calling the SPCA in the morning to see if any appointments have opened up. This means fasting your dog or cat the night before, but it will be worth it if you can get in there!

Oh-so-lovely songstress Adele is making an effort to go vegetarian! She says that for what’s on the agenda in the year ahead, she has to be “really healthy and stuff like that.” Plus, when she eats meat, she thinks of her dog and sees his little dog eyes. This is incredible news, though of course going vegan would be all the more fantastic. It can be a difficult transition to make, I understand. But, Adele, I’m here to help you. Anything you need, any time of day. Then when you visit San Francisco, I’ll give you the drinking vegan tour of the city! Or you can hire me as your personal chef, whatever works.

1. I understand you don’t like the taste of tofu, that you go so far as to describe it as “rank.” Tofu is not chicken, this much is true. However, when seasoned well, tofu is delicious! I’ll let you borrow my Tofu Xpress and we can marinate blocks of protein together! You must also read Sarah’s guide to making the most out of a tofu scramble: It will change your life.

2. Faux meat and cheese are your friends during this transitional time. Every time I blink, new ones hit the market. Try them all out to find your faves. You don’t have to like them all, it’s OK. I stay as far as I can from Tofurky deli slices and cheddar-flavored Follow Your Heart cheese.

3. Raw chocolate truffles are the BEST. Raw desserts in general, I think, are better than the average vegan treat, except for coconut ice cream, which is delightful.

4. Check out Happy Cow so you know where to eat in every city on your tour. I really should have checked Happy Cow before I went to Reno (as opposed to the drive home), because I subsisted on a salad, a sandwich, and a Lara Bar for two days—not enough food for me. Learn from my mistakes.

5. Barnivore is your new best friend. Use it, download the app, and then go to your nearest pub.

6. Get yourself some vegan cookbooks! Because Vegan with a Vengeance was my first, I am biased in believing it should be every vegan beginner’s guide!

7. I have heard that it is safe and nutritious for doggie companions to go veg as well as humans! You and your pooch can go on this veg journey together, OMG that would be the cutest.

8. Read Vegansaurus! You’ll love us, we are sassy. Like you!

9. I probably will not lose respect for you if you pose for a PETA ad, but personally, I think it’d be amazing if you did work with Farm Sanctuary or Mercy for Animals. Just don’t pull a Ginnifer Goodwin, in which you yell about your veganism only to turn around and bash it on Jimmy Kimmel Live, OK?

Now it’s time for a video, with everyone’s favorite kale-lover, Anderson Cooper! Just kidding; he openly hates kale because like my sister, he has the palate of a six-year-old!

Adele is just stunning in all these clips. Are you getting chills watching her sing? I am!

[photo via Tom and Lorenzo. Who does your makeup, girl? It’s perfection.]

Picture from Maastricht University of test tube meat!

This weekend, Prof Mark Post of Maastricht University in the Netherlands spoke at the American Academy for the Advancement of Science (AAAS) annual meeting in Vancouver and broke the super news that a test tube hamburger is on the immediate horizon! Last year, Post was able to grow small strips of muscle tissue from a pig’s stem cells. He told the AAAS yesterday that he has successfully replicated the process using a cow’s stem cells. In light of this, Post thinks he can create the first lab-meat hamburger ready for consumption this fall!: “In October we are going to provide a proof of concept showing out of stem cells we can make a product that looks, feels and hopefully tastes like meat,” Post said.

Of course, the process is so arduous that each burger will cost 250,000 euros (about $329,950.00), but researchers think soon they will be able to produce the stuff on a larger, cheaper scale. 

I think most of us at Vegansaurus are pro-lab meat, if it means less suffering for animals. But according to the Telegraph:

Although it is possible to extract a limited number of stem cells from cows without killing them, Prof Post said the most efficient way of taking the process forward would still involve slaughter.

He said: “Eventually my vision is that you have a limited herd of donor animals in the world that you keep in stock and that you get your cells form there.”

So, that rains on my parade a bit. But I mean, who thought they were going to be able to make hamburgers from stem cells?! Fairly soon, scientist could be like, “dudes, we totes don’t need any cows at all.” Who can say?!

You may remember that last year, PETA said they’d pay a million dollars to the first scientist “to produce and bring to market in vitro meat.” BUT! PETA’s offer is actually for chicken, so Post’s burger doesn’t cut it. Plus, you have to sell a lot of it commercially before you can win anyway and at $329,950.00 a burger, Post has a ways to go. But maybe he doesn’t need PETA’s money because apparently he has some mysterious, extremely rich donor. The donor wishes to remain anonymous to the public but Post says he’s a household name known for “turning everything into gold.” When the first hamburger is ready, Post wants British celebrity chef Heston Blumenthal to cook it and this mysterious guy gets to try it with whomever* he invites to join him. 

This mysterious benefactor is my favorite part of the whole story because you know he’s one of those gagillionaires that hunts humans on his own private island. But, alas, even cannibalism has lost its novelty and so onto the lab meat!

*I don’t know if that should be whoever or whomever but I tried my best!

Earlier this month, Russell Simmons wrote a letter to New York governor Andrew Cuomo telling him that milk should no longer be the state’s official beverage. In other news, milk is New York State’s official beverage. No but really, did you know that? I didn’t. Wait, does every state have an official beverage? Looks like a lot of them do, and for the vast majority, it’s milk. Grody! However, California’s is wine—go ‘head, Cali! Get your drink on!

I used to be all about almond milk but now I’m all about coconut milk. It RULES. So! I think the oficial state drink should be coconut milk! There, it’s settled. I’m a (super) genius!

One Green Planet has a nice guide to help people dump the cow milk and get down with some plant milk! So if you know anyone looking to make the change, there you go. 

Scary rooster Puff has it in for kitty Blacko! This is kind of sad. 

Grist’s Protein Angst series is still killing it! My new favorite: Never mind the meat—worry about eating enough plants. This is what I’m always thinking! Like, dude, I get enough protein, do you get enough veggies?! There is so much concern over our nutrients but I’d bet meat-mouths are not hitting all the nutritional points!

A whole town in India relocated to make room for tigers! That’s nice. 

McDonald’s thinks trying their food is less risky than petting stray pitbulls. People are not pleased. But I’m glad our standards are now risky and less risky. Obviously they are implying you may get bit by a dog; generally I want my food to be on an entirely different scale than getting bit by a dog—not just less “risky.”

From Ecouterre, fur trapping season ends with record high of non-target animal deaths. That means exactly what you think it means.

Choosing Raw has another great post on PCRM and fat-shaming (though we discourage the use of “overweight” as it maintains there is a specific weight you should be). Gena stresses the need to focus on using “honest language, honest facts, and honest statistics.” Here here!

Australia is up in arms over recent footage documenting inhumane conditions in a Sydney slaughterhouse. You can see the video on the linked page. It’s pretty rugged. The one good thing though is it seems like Australia actually does stuff when footage like this surfaces. The slaughterhouse in question was immediately closed (I don’t know if it was permanently closed but still, swift action).

An NYT editorial calls for humane national standards in egg production!

You know we’ve been discussion palm oil lately, well Grist is here to help you break free of the palm oil grasp!

From HuffPo, you may have already heard about this but if not: Westminster severed ties with Pedigree because they didn’t want to see images of puppies behind bars during commercial breaks. Stay classy, Westminster!

From Ecorazzi, Ian Somerhalder (see below) is getting an award from the Humane Society! I have an award for him too! IN MY PANTS. Sorry guys, I can’t help it, he’s the hotness times god damn. 

We love Jasmine Tea House very much, and when it closed, we were very sad. BUT NOW! We can be happy again because it’s reopened! Apparently it’s under new ownership and the mind-blowing Sesame Meatless Chicken isn’t on the actual menu, BUT the wonderful We Built This City let us know that you can order it off-menu! Do that because when you do shit like that, you look like a total boss. I DON’T NEED A FUCKING MENU, SON.

Also, if you are craving the original Jasmine Tea House tastiness, I BELIEVE the old owners currently operate Big Lantern on 16th Street in the Mission. They have some damn delicious vegan dim sum and all kinds of meatless chickens! Plus, they deliver all over San Francisco and honestly, that’s probably how you want to eat it because when you dine in, it’s just a sad flurry of to-go orders flying out around you.

However, if you want to have pretty much an entire restaurant to yourself when you eat, then head to Big Lantern! Actually, I’ve totally talked myself into going to lunch there, I love dining alone! You can gorge yourself AND you don’t have to look another person in the eye—my two favorite things!

Don’t you wish you could find your friends’ doggie twins on the go?! Now you can! With the Best Friends Animal Society My Dog ID app. Above is my lovely sister Cally and her one-eyed dog twin. Pretty amazing. I tried a few other pictures of Cally and this same dog came up each time! Bwahaha. This app is more fun than I expected. Except I tried to find the dog twin for our pink dino and the app was like, whaa? It did find a dog twin for my dog though, so meta. 

This app doesn’t just entertain with its amazing dog twin finding abilities, it also lets you look up adoptable dogs in your area. Additionally, it makes it simple and easy to donate to Best Friends’ Invisible Dog initiative. That is how I like to see animal orgs getting into social media! A free, fun, interactive game that raises awareness for shelter dogs everywhere! Well played, Best Friends. 

NYCLASS is having a Mardi Gras masquerade ball for the carriage horses!

From Samantha at SuperVegan, because she’s funny and I’m lazy:

Do you ever stare at a long, rectangular fish tank, waiting for your one true love to appear on the other side? That one person for whom you’d die a historically tragic death? And also that the fish were swimming in the ocean? Just me, then? Well, this is what comes to mind when I hear “masquerade.” Basically, it’s Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes locking eyes for the first time, through the enchanting, refracted light of a fish tank.

I’m pretty sure that’s how things are going to roll at the Mardi Gras masquerade that Verite Catering is organizing for Friday, February 24.

Yeah, sounds good! Plus, there’s going to be vegan king cake! I don’t know what that is but I think I heard Laura say she likes it. That’s good enough for me. Plus, I hear they hide stuff in it? I like that because it reminds me of my favorite Amelia Bedelia book where they tell her to make a “date cake” and she makes a cake with calendar clippings in it. That Amelia Bedelia! There’s also a bunch of vegan-sounding food from Verite Catering including Cajun fried seitan and eggplant jambalaya! 

Masks are strongly encouraged; But while NYCLASS tells you to “find your feathers,” I’m telling you to leave the feathers on the birds! Let’s not celebrate horses by ripping the feathers off a bunch of birds. Also, I think you should make your own mask! Ever heard of paper mache?! It’s recycled and biodegradable! Here is a DIY tutorial for making a paper mache mask and then this Threadbanger video has great decorating instructions—she uses ribbons instead of feathers! Lovely! I happen to love paper mache and there are few times when it’s a legitimate activity sans kids, so take advantage of this opportunity. 

Final suggestion: DON’T SHOW UP IN A HORSE CARRIAGE. 

All in all, sounds like a great event! And it’ll be easy for you guys to remember the party date because it’s the day before my birthday. 

Oh hey there, little guy, what’s up? I noticed you were recently discovered — along with three other species of tiny chameleons—by scientists in Madagascar. Man, I love science.

You know what else I love? How you’re shaped like E.T. How your juveniles are smaller than the width of a human fingernail. You know what I don’t love? That your continued existence is an extremely delicate situation. So let me introduce you to someone who knows how to navigate the big world in a tiny body. You guys can go hang-gliding together, maybe.

Also: OMFG I’M GOING TO CRAWL OUT OF MY SKIN YOU ARE SO CUTE I AM GOING TO PUT A TINY HAT ON EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU!!!!

The “I’M MOOVED” campaign for animals is looking for submissions! Are you “mooved” by animal suffering? Make a statement! Submit your picture and your mooving statement and the Boss Hogg Project may put you on a flyer!

Pet pics are welcome but they are looking for a wide array of animals—so you farm animal shelters, get snapping! 

I think this calls for a photo-shoot. I’m going to need 25 rescue piglets, 10 retired hens, and AT LEAST seven goats. And a photographer! But especially the goats. They are essential to my vision!

There’s a very interesting study in this month’s Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin that we vegans may find particularly fascinating: “Don’t Mind Meat? The Denial of Mind to Animals Used for Human Consumption.” It’s all about how meat eaters cope with taking a life so they can have a hamburger. What, you don’t get the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin? It’s OK! Thankfully, a Psychology Today blog and the University of Queensland both break the study down for us. 

One part of the study asked participants (all meat eaters) to rate how willing they are to eat different animals. Then they asked them to rate the mental ability of different animals. Guess what? People were more likely to eat the animals they attributed lower mental ability to. OK, not surprised. This could just mean people eat dumber animals.

The next study asked people to picture cows and sheep. People who pictured them living in happy sunny fields rated the mental abilities of the animals higher than those who specifically thought of the cows and sheep being raised as food. Now we are getting somewhere!

Still another study asked these meat eaters to write about the process of raising and killing animals for food. They were all told there would be a food sampling after they finished writing. Half the people were told they’d be served fruit and half the people were told they’d be served beef and lamb. Before they ate, the participants were asked to rate the mental abilities of cows and sheep. Now, get a load of this!: The people that were expecting to eat meat rated the mental abilities of cows and sheep much lower than the people that knew they were going to eat fruit. Say whaaat?!

The abstract summarizes the implications nicely:

Many people like eating meat, but most are reluctant to harm things that have minds. The current three studies show that this dissonance motivates people to deny minds to animals. Study 1 demonstrates that animals considered appropriate for human consumption are ascribed diminished mental capacities. Study 2 shows that meat eaters are motivated to deny minds to food animals when they are reminded of the link between meat and animal suffering. Finally, Study 3 provides direct support for our dissonance hypothesis, showing that expectations regarding the immediate consumption of meat increase mind denial. Moreover, this mind denial in turn reduces negative affect associated with dissonance.

So, how wacky are meat eaters?! They don’t even know they do this! Wacky meat eaters. I wonder if people who don’t eat meat get any mental benefit because they don’t have to reconcile this dissonance. Know what I mean? Like maybe we save mental energy and can focus that energy on additional intellectual endeavors. Hold up, I think we just figured out why I’m such a Super Genius!