Recipe: Oatmeal “honey” bread!  »

I’m really sorry you’re not me right now, because I’m eating this amazing bread AS I TYPE and you just get to look at a photo of it. And then make your own.

I’ve been on a bread-baking kick lately because I’m both cheap and domestic. It makes the house smell so good! And everyone is so impressed with you! Your friends and family will love you more and maybe not kick you out.

For today’s bread, I adapted a super-non-vegan recipe and you know what, fuck those guys, the vegan version rocks. It’s chewy, a little sweet, has a great texture, and in the hour since it’s cooled I’ve eaten half a loaf.

I am blessed with a KitchenAid mixer that I let do all the hard work for me, but you could make this without one, you’d just have to feel a bit more like a kitchen wench.

Oatmeal “honey” bread
makes 2ish loaves

5 to 6 1/2 cups flour (I used bread flour, but all-purpose would be fine)
1 cup quick-cooking oats
2 tsp. salt
2 (1/4 oz.) packages active dry yeast
1 1/2 cups water
1/2 cup honey substitute (I used Bee Free Honee made from apples, review of that product coming eventually but let me say it worked great in this bread)
1/2 cup Earth Balance
replacement for 2 eggs (I used 1 Tbsp. Ener-G egg replacer mixed with 4 Tbsp. warm water; flax seeds and water would probably work great too)
1 Tbsp. soymilk
oat meal

Mix 5 cups flour, oats, salt, and yeast in a bowl. In a small saucepan, combine water, honey-alternative, and Earth Balance. Heat to 120°F to 130°F (right when it starts getting steamy). Slowly add warm liquids to flour mixture, mixing for about 1 minute on speed 2 of your mixer, or until blended if you’re a sucker mixing by hand. Add egg substitute; mix an additional 1 minute.

Add more flour, 1/2 cup at a time, until dough clings to hook (spoon) and cleans sides of bowl, about 3 minutes. I only needed a little more flour for this. Knead for 7 to 10 minutes or until dough is smooth and elastic. 

Place dough in greased bowl, turning to grease top. Cover; let rise in warm place, until doubled, about 1 hour.

Punch dough down. Divide dough in half. Shape each half into a loaf by rolling it out flat on a cutting board with a rolling pin, then rolling it up into a cylinder like a jelly roll. Place each loaf into a greased bread pan (8.5” x 4.5” x 2.5”, or whatever you have really). Cover; let rise in warm place till doubled, about an hour.

Preheat oven to 375°F. Brush tops of loaves with soymilk. Sprinkle with oat meal. Bake 40 minutes, until browned and hollow-sounding when you rap on them.

Remove from pans and cool on wire racks. THEN EAT UNTIL YOU PUKE, OM NOM NOM NOM NOM.

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