Product review: Tofutti Flowers!  »

As I’ve said before, I’m in this for the attention and the free stuff. Recently we got free stuff: Tofutti sent us a box of the new popsicle/ice cream bars they’re making, called Flowers, because they contain real flower and nectar flavors.

Popsicles in general are genius, and I love them, but this popsicle was not the best one I’ve ever had. The chocolate coating was all right, but it made my teeth feel weird if when I bit it, like they were rubbing together the wrong way. Possibly I am having enamel problems, as my long, long unemployment continues and I continue not to be able to afford to see a dentist. Still, this is the same effect that eating food cooked with vinegar has on my little molars, and why the Flowers’ chocolate coating should do that to them.

The Flowers’ creamy insides taste, um, interesting. I’ve had hot hibiscus tea, which I did not like and agua de Jamaica, which is lovely, but never so many flower-flavors combined. The mixture is odd. The strawberry flavor dominates the others, and underneath there are funny hints—should I call them “notes”?—of flavors I couldn’t identify. The chocolate coating, while mediocre, did make a good combination with the ice cream.

I have certainly eaten better vegan ice cream popsicles; but I haven’t had many—any?—that were fruit-flavored, and none that had flower nectar. The novelty is nice, but if I were buying vegan ice cream popsicles at the store, Tofutti Flowers wouldn’t be my first choice. Maybe second or third, you know? But that’s Tofutti, I think; they make some products that no other companies do, or ones that are much better than any alternatives—their cream cheese and sour cream are the best available, and the Cuties were the first tiny vegan ice cream sandwich on the market. Not everything they make is the greatest, but it’s reliably good. If really novel foodstuffs are where they’re going, then that’s great. This is an interesting experiment, anyway.

[for those interested, here are the ingredients lists, directly from the package:
Bar: water, sugar, corn syrup solids, corn and soy oils, isolated soy protein, tofu powder, maltodextrin, cocoa butter, vanilla with other natural flavors, natural flower and nectar flavors (rose, marigold, calendula, citrus blossoms, hibiscus, jasmine and lavender), strawberry flavor, guar, xanthan and carrageenan gums, soy lecithin, salt, veg. mono- and diglycerides.
Chocolate coating: coconut oil, sugar, organic evaporated sugar cane juice, cocoa processed with alkali, soy lecithin, salt, vanilla with other natural flavors.]

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