Café Gratitude Bereavement Plan »
It sure sucks that Café Gratitude is closing. Lucky for me, I said my goodbyes a few months ago with a slice of raw cheesecake, right after I said goodbye to S.F. Pride and right before I got on a plane and moved to Denver.
Lucky for you, I’ve had time to figure how to live Life without Gratitude. And because I’m the nicest person ever, I’m going to share that hard-won knowledge.
Gather round, grasshoppers. Here’s what you do:
WARNING! REPLACING CAFÉ GRATITUDE IS HARD AND EXPENSIVE AND WILL MAKE PEOPLE THINK YOU’RE WEIRD! PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK! BUT IT’S HELLA TASTY!!!
- Admit that the best thing about the restaurant was dessert. Then buy Sweet Gratitude, the book that will tell you how to make said desserts.
- Flip through the book. Cry a little when you realize how hard and complicated they are and how much better it was to just pay for them.
- Take a deep breath and COMMIT. It will be worth it!
- Buy Irish Moss.
- Buy a kitchen scale.
- Buy raw coconut oil.
- Buy soy lecithin.
- Buy raw cacao butter, powder, and maybe nibs.
- Buy raw vanilla beans.
- Buy a VitaMix. Or don’t but you’ll wish you had one. Trust me.
- Choose a recipe. Buy the rest of the stuff you’ll need, like almonds and cashews and dates and agave and coconuts, from the grocery store.
- Plan ahead. You’ll probably need to soak things for various amounts of time, from one to 24 hours. Maybe make a Gantt chart?
- Whip! Blend! Chill!
- EAT AMAZING FOOD!
That’s a lot of steps, partly because I’m making fun of it. To be honest, it really is worth it, at least for special occasions. I still haven’t tried making the tiramisu at home. But I will. And you’ll hear about it.
Look what I made! Raw lemon-blueberry cheesecake! It rocked!
- Start with some of the simpler recipes. The cheesecakes, for example, don’t need Irish Moss.
- Making this food will make you covet a better blender, unless you have a great one already.
- Blend longer than you think you need to.
- If you’re not a raw food purist, don’t be a raw food purist. Use canned coconut milk. Use the almond milk you always use. Screw raw vanilla, use regular. Yeah of course it’ll taste different but you’ll be more sane.
Thanks, Gratitude. I am grateful you existed, and grateful for the challenges you’ve left us. Though I’d still rather just let you do the work.