Oakland’s Hella Vegan Eats is hella delicious and you need to hella be eating it right now! »
Over the past couple of weeks I’ve had the absolute pleasure of eating as much food from the Oakland-based Hella Vegan Eats as humanly possible. Seriously, I’ve been surviving almost exclusively on their bounty of deliciousness. I’ve buried myself in mountains of tamales and eaten myself out in mere minutes! Please forget that you ever read that sentence! On to the food!
Let me give you a list of all the OUTSTANDINGLY AMAZING food I’ve been eating. Nothing has been short of the best g-d thing I’ve ever eaten and here’s the list: Navajo Fry Bread topped with deliciousness like quinoa, sweet potatoes, and other such yum; Orzo with Butternut Squash “Cheddar;” Cranberries and Shaved Brussels Sprouts; Spiced Apple Fritters (HOLY FUCK), and Vanilla-Chai Horchata. And then there are the tamales. OH THE TAMALES! Oy, they are so magical! Perfect masa stuffed with fillings like Spicy Black Bean, Al Pastor, Thai Peanut, or Green Mole. Seriously, so many fresh veggies—including things like purple cauliflower! so pretty!—and tender homemade seitan. I can’t even tell you HOW FUCKING GOOD THIS FOOD IS. Sorry, I am excited, and also very sad that I have none of it left and am forced to eat a stupid-ass massaged kale salad for dinner and be sad. [Ed note: Those tamales are the m-fing best, Laura does not lie! —Meave]
Right now, you can only get Hella Vegan Eats at events, or have them cater your parties (DO THIS), but they are currently in La Cocina’s incubator program and are working toward a food truck, and then world domination. I’m in! I will fight in whatever crazy vegan army they need me to, and you totally want me on your side, because not only am I certifiably nuts with nothing to lose, I can stuff tamales even faster than I eat them. For every tamale I eat, I will stuff two. We can’t lose!
[Photos from Yelp because I ate everything too fast to take pictures because I don’t fuck around when it comes to eating.]