10th Annual World Veg Festival! »
HELLO LITTLE DINOS.
This is Laura. I am back from the edge. I mean, I literally almost threw myself off a cliff because I’ve been SO FUCKING SICK AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS DIE. AND EAT. I don’t know what’s up with that? Why can’t I be like a fucking normal person and not want to gorge myself when I’m sick?? I swear, I might have a glandular disorder. Only cure? MORE FOOD! Okay so. This weekend, it’s the 10th Annual World Veg Fest in San Francisco. It’s co-sponsored by the extra-awesome VegNews magazine, and our friends at Sugar Beat Sweets will be on the scene with mad vegan treats and so I think that’s reason enough to go, right? If not, tons of awesome speakers (and um, not so awesome speakers but I’m a total player hater. I WILL JUST SAY THIS: Please stop having totally irrelevant octogenarians babbling crazy talk at these things. Vegans already look crazytown enough and then we have to compete with that? It’s enough to make me start gnawing on my own arm BECAUSE THEN I’LL LOOK AS BATSHIT AS MOST PEOPLE THINK VEGANS ARE. In other news, I’m starving.)
I definitely won’t be missing Howard Lyman because he’s the total shit (READ THIS) and he’s all super nice in a grandpa type-way and you’re not sure if he’s hitting on you or just being super nice but really he’s just being super nice and you have a weirdly inflated sense of how good looking you are. Also, maybe he’s hitting on you. Mystery! Intrigue! Suspense! It can all be yours this weekend for only $6 suggested donation at the door!
Also, there is reportedly going to be vegan speed dating happening as well. So just in case Howard Lyman is totally on the level, you can go get your creepy vibe fix in there. Shudder. OR MAYBE YOU’LL FIND TRUE LOVE WHO KNOWS I MET MY BOYFRIEND ONLINE ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME OKAY?
(Now accepting requests for relationship advice!)
I will note that Broke-Ass Stuart hella scooped us on this BUT I’M SICK SO WHATEVER.