vegansaurus!

Oh look! It’s a dog adopt-a-thon in the plaza at the foot of Market Street! SO AWESOME!

Oh wait…it’s um, Petco? You know, the place where pets go (to die!). And wait, those aren’t actually homeless pets, they are actually OTHER PEOPLE’S DOGS. One of the guys in shirts told us they were just borrowing the dogs for the demo and that they’d have “real” adoptable dogs at some other undisclosed time and location. Weirdly but I guess unsurprisingly, Petco isn’t authy enough to invite real rescue groups with ACTUAL homeless dogs to help shill their crappy wares.

We have it on good authority too (sekrit sources from the animal insider community! you are jealous!) that they recently lost some lawsuit where they were ordered to pay out monies to rescue groups and instead of giving them cash, they gave them fucking Petco giftcards! In $20 increments! So that when people go in, they have to spend cash because what can you buy for 20 fucking dollars? Well, I’ll tell you what I HEARD someone NOT ME did: bought one and a half toys and they just took the other half. WE DON’T CONDONE THEFT BUT YOU KNOW, wasn’t us never saw it don’t know what you’re talking about GOD STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT.