Almond milk is where it’s AT!  »

The Wall Street Journal reports that almond milk is rocketing to stardom in the “dairy” aisle. Go on with your bad self, delicious almond milk! As you know, Megan Rascal is already a fan, and the rest of your Vegansaurus are pretty much on board, too. Well, by “the rest of,” I mean myself because HELLO BONBONS. I personally believe that Almond Dream bonbons are the reason for the season and by the season, I mean my fat ass. Love those things!

The dairy industry are typical assholes about the whole thing and complain very much about the competition and BOO FUCKING HOO, ASSHOLES. Everyone buy almond milk by the busload and recommend it to all your friends and buy it as birthday gifts—what! you’re already the weirdo vay-gun aunt, why not complete The Transformation—and let’s bring down those ungodly sociopaths. I, for one, am doing my part by eating my weight (and your weight) in Almond Milk Bon Bons, available at Whole Foods, Rainbow, and corner stores the city over!

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