United Airlines Kills Dogs.  »

Don’t fly United to San Francisco with your dog. That’s the main lesson I’m taking from two recent, stupid, sad incidents where people’s dogs died on flights to SF with United. Actually, don’t fly United ever: The seats are tiny, the customer service sucks, and they permanently ruined Gershwin’s Rhapsody in Blue for an entire generation or more. Plus they’re dog-killers.

Incident 1: Supermodel Maggie Rizer loses her golden retriever Bea on a flight from NY to SF, due to heat stroke. Poor puppy!

Incident 2: The very next week, citizen Mike Jarboe loses his neapolitan mastiff Bam Bam on a flight from Miami to NY. Cause of death: heart attack. Likely caused by heat stroke. Here’s what Jarboe told his local TV station, WSVN:

During a layover in Houston, he looked out his window and saw Bam Bam in his crate, on a luggage carrier that was not an air conditioned van. “It was right under the wing. We were right there, had a direct shot, he was so hot. His tongue was hanging down,” said Jarboe. “Never, ever, have I ever seen him that hot. What United promised us is an air conditioned cargo facility and an air conditioned cargo van.”

United says it followed its procedures. 

This is total BULLSHIT! An airline once broke the wheel to my suitcase, and that pissed me off. Imagine the tragedy of taking a trip with you canine buddy and having him not ever get off the plane! What can we do, vegans? Boycott United? I actually have to fly them next week, I’m pretty upset. Got a plan for me?

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