Hello, friends! It’s WTF Wednesday!  »

So Valentine’s Day happened, and it was pretty awesome, right? Any holiday that allows meto eat as much chocolate as I want and force Allen to take me out to an expensive dinner accompanied by many presents is a good one for me. Allen is actually kind of screwed this time of year because as soon as he is done paying the credit card bills for all of the presents I demanded in the name of commercialized romanticism, there’s my birthday! And our anniversary is only 13 days after that! I am going to need to rent another apartment just to be able to contain all of the presents I will be receiving (if Allen knows what is good for him). And Allen is going to have to pay for that apartment. And bring all the presents in. And fan me as I lay on a couch and eat bon-bons, because that is what you do when you love someone. Or at least, that’s what the Hallmark cards say!

While Allen spares no expense in order to keep me happy, a city in the nation of Kyrgyzstan is taking a decidedly different approach when it comes to the thousands of stray dogs living inside its walls. Stray dogs, friends, are a huge problem; I agree. Therefore I am glad that the city of Bishek is building shelters for these dogs and making sure they find proper homes. Just kidding! Bishek officials have decided that this is too expensive and have chosen instead to send teams of hunters out to shoot the dogs early in the morning and late at night.¬†Approximately 10,000 dogs will be murdered due to budget constraints. That’s 5,000 more than last year. Bishek City Hall Spokesman Pavel Klimenko urges the world not to consider the act barbaric. Oh, OK then! As long as you asked! I really wish it worked that way. I bet Lindsay Lohan would also like to tell the boutique she stole from that she understands what she did doesn’t “look good,” but she urges them to not view it as theft. Problem solved! Trial canceled.

Listen up, Bishek, you don’t get to do that! What you’re doing is, in fact, incredibly barbaric and wrong. I get that you’re an impoverished nation, but what are you doing to control the breeding of all these dogs in the first place? Obviously not a lot considering that you “had” to kill 5,000 last year. Why don’t you get on that? Perhaps once you’ve stopped committing barbaric acts you won’t have to worry as much about assuring us that everything’s fine.¬†

Surprise, surprise: More bad shit is happening over in Ciudad Juarez. This time, it’s 35 animals who froze to death in the Chihuahua Zoo! So much for the idea that Mexico is a sunny wonderland year-round! This really sucks. Not only does it suck that the animals are in the zoo, but also because they’re in trapped in cages and wouldn’t be able to do anything about their predicament even if they knew what to do—which is doubtful, because they don’t really teach you how to live outside of captivity in the zoo. Beyond that, where were the people who were supposed to be taking care of these animals? Was it too cold for anyone to show up at the zoo to see that all the heating was cut off? Did they attempt to do anything, or did they just suppose that fur would keep these animals warm during the coldest period Mexico has had in the past six decades? There are too many questions and not enough answers that don’t make me want explode like a dormant volcano, raining fire and brimstone on the people in charge of this debacle!

Here’s some more about animals freezing; luckily this time we know who to blame! Remember last week when we talked about that woman who sent a dog in the mail? Yeah, she was bad and we are super glad she is not getting her dog back, but what about breeders? Breeders send animals on planes all the time! Then they breed more animals, and I’m sure many of these animals end up in shelters because people decide they don’t want them anymore, and then they die because people don’t get pets from shelters but from breeders, perpetuating this horrible cycle of animal death and cruelty. Then kittens die. Adorable hairless kittens. So who’s to blame? The breeder who recklessly sent an animal in the cargo hold of a plane from Utah to Connecticut? Delta, for leaving the kitten on the ground in seven-degree weather for 50 minutes? Or the new owners, who would have “thrown a tantrum if they knew their cat was dying,” but didn’t think it more prudent NOT to have a cat a flown to them in the first place? The kitten’s name was Snickers! Let that be on your conscience, breeders and people who buy from them!

Thanks for sending me links, Tim, Alexandra, and Megan Rascal! Please send me more links for next week and have an awesome rest of the week. Thank god it’s a three-day weekend!

[Mark Bundy from Laura!; Homeless dog in Kyrgzstan from RIA Novosti; Hairless kitten photo from Consumerist]

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