Product review: Food for Lovers Vegan Queso!  »

Holy Guacamole*! Food for Lovers vegan cheese in a jar is fucking delicious! It tastes JUST like that bright yellow nacho cheese sauce you get at the movies** but it doesn’t make you throw up after you binge on it! It is a miracle of food science! We live in a truly blessed time, fellow vegans.

The creators of this marvelous product are from Texas (get a rope! sorry, it’s a reflexive reaction brought on by being raised by a television in the ’80s) and so you know they know what’s up when it comes to all things fatty and tasty. Except this shit isn’t really that fatty, but it tastes so rich and creamy! I would buy several jars so you can experiment with nachos, burritos, nachos, enchiladas, spicy mac ‘n’ cheese, and more nachos.

MAKE MEGA NACHOS. How you do this is: you get a cookie sheet, you dump one to two bags of tortilla chips on it, you cover that in a shit-ton of beans, vegan burger crumbles, jalapeños, chopped tomatoes, whatever. Then pour say, several jars of this queso on it and bake at 400 F for 10 to 15 minutes. Remove from oven and dump on buckets of vegan sour cream and guacamole (or just slice entire avocados on it if you’re rich, you rich fucker!) and then eat it all and feel both proud and disgusted (the best combination of feelings). MEGA NACHOS!
Those are not my MEGA NACHOS but I want them very badly.

*I feel like this is something Megan Rascal would adorably say.
**And I imagine state and county fairs and all that good wholesome Amurrican shit but I don’t know, I’ve never been because my parents hate me/America.

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