vegansaurus!

03/05/2010

Fake meats and smug vegans, elephant geniuses, killer snakes, your very own puppies AND MORE in today’s link-o-rama!  »


Pugs becoming men, men becoming wolves: Werepug Bar Mitzvah!

They are few, but crucial: Your vegan events!
Fun times at the San Francisco Public Library! On Saturday, Mar. 6 from 2 to 3 p.m. at the Noe Valley branch (451 Jersey St. at Castro Street) Maya Donelson will host a workshop on rooftop gardening. And on Tuesday, Mar. 9 from 6:30 to 7:30 p.m. at the Bernal Heights branch (500 Cortland Ave. at Moultrie Street), you can learn all about urban composting. Both events are free and open to the public.

On Thursday, Mar. 11 Blood and Sunshine will release their latest E.P., Change Is in the Weather, at 9 p.m. at Thee Parkside in San Francisco. Why should you care? First, because half the band, Joseph Macrino, is vegan and loves your Vegansaurus. Second, because he and James Brennan (the other half of the band, no doy), have decided to plant a tree for every 200 miles they travel on tour. See how much they love the environment? A LOT, is how much. The show costs $6, which in this economy is basically nothing, so go already!

Next Saturday, Mar. 13 from noon to 2 p.m. the PETA Pack—which includes Friend of Vegansaurus’ Cinnaholic—is having a bake sale in front of the PETA Oakland office, at 538 Grand Ave. The proceeds will benefit PETA’s Investigations and Rescue fund.

Also on Saturday, Mar. 13 is the next meeting of the Bay Area Vegetarians book club! The book is Slaughterhouse by Gail Eisnitz; be at Vegi Food at 2085 Vine St. (at Henry Street) in Berkeley at 1 p.m. to discuss it. RSVP here.

Farm Sanctuary’s California Country Hoe Down is coming! Friend of Vegansaurus’ Melisser (of Sugar Beat Sweets) went in 2008 and had a great time, and photos from 2009 look pretty great as well. Tickets are on sale for the May 1 through 2 event right now, and I hear they go fast, so if you’re interested you should probably buy them soon.

Help the great state of Indiana end live bait dog training by sending an email to Natural Resources Commission and Governor Mitch Daniels. This practice is seriously vile: people throw a wild-caught coyote or fox into a pen with a pack of dogs to “train” the dogs for hunting.

It is lengthy, and debatably important: Your vegan weekend reading!
Well fuck, salmonella’s been found in MORE FOOD. This time it’s in hydrolyzed vegetable protein that was made in a Basic Food Flavors plant in Las Vegas (Woo!). I guess HVP is a food, however much it dyslexically looks like HPV? Anyway, the products being recalled include some from Follow Your Heart, so be safe and check your packaging, OK?

Problem: we’re all Fat and awful. Solution: extrapolate results from experiments on fruit flies, because science!

But Michael Markarian, president of the Humane Society Legislative Fund, believes in a “pathway to end animal testing” and needs your help making this a priority for lawmakers.

If food is religion, then vegans are obviously terrible, self-righteous proselytizing zealots. "It’s just food," after all.

WHO WANTS A PUPPY? Uh, me! AND YOU! Get over to the East Bay SPCA, they have pit bull puppies right now! [thanks, Brittney of Eye on Blogs!]

Vice interviews the Rosaire family, who run a circus-cum-exotic-animal-sanctuary. Vice would like you to know that this issue is not as simple as “circuses are bad, free the animals,” you small-minded PETA assholes.

Meanwhile, elephants are proving themselves even smarter than anyone thought, most recently at math. Probably elephants have greater math skills than me, because they weren’t societally conditioned to hate and fear it.

According to a survey by Canadian bacon company, 43 percent of respondents would rather eat bacon than have sex. Ugh, that’s cool ‘cause I’d rather not have sex with you bacon-crazed grossies. Arguably, this is a reason against moving to Canada.

Shamu is too depressed over Tilikum killing that lady to Tweet anymore.

You’re kidding—poop from all the animals crammed into “megafarms” is a major pollutant? It’s causing huge environmental problems? And agricultural interests are fighting every effort to regulate the disposal of all this poop? I AM SO SHOCKED RIGHT NOW.

Continuing the fucked-up news, the Grayson County Humane Society/SPCA shelter in Leitchfield, Ken., was broken into last week. The perpetrator(s) “brought a very cat-aggressive dog into the office, beat her severely, and then released two cats from their cages.” the perpetrator(s) took money from the shelter and left; the dog killed the cats. Here is further information about the crimes and donating to the organization.

Hey everybody! Starting today, it’s open season on wild Burmese pythons in Florida for the next six weeks! If you have a Florida hunting license, you can chop a snake’s head off with a big knife! It’s totally cool, though, because thanks to irresponsible snake-buyers, Hurrican Andrew, and participants in Florida’s “active exotic animal trade,” plus the pythons’ crazy-high fertility, there are snakes EVERYWHERE, ruining Florida’s natural ecosystem and begging to be murdered. Anyway, they are naturally vicious—one time a family pet got out of its cage and strangled a toddler! KILL ‘EM ALL BANG BANG BANG.

Never mind Florida, actually, let’s go to Argentina! Buenos Aires is now bursting with veg restaurants, and it sounds (and looks!) goddamn amazing.

Less fancy but still reportedly delicious is Chipotle’s Garden Blend burrito. Holy shit they charge $3 for guacamole at this Chipotle in New York, I am SO SORRY you guys.

Thanks to officials in the Obama cabinet, the U.S. government supports the international ban on Atlantic bluefin tuna. Sorry, sashimi-crazies. May I suggest learning to enjoy vegan sushi? It is delicious and environmentally friendly!

Smokey and Petra, two lops, make Oscar predictions!

Cow philosophy: thought-provoking, or obnoxious wanking? Really, you tell me; I can’t decide whether it’s an interesting way to make point, or if I just want to slap the dude because the answer is so obvious, even asking is angering. UGH.

Poor old Knut: first he’s the tiny star of screen and song; then he’s reviled as “anti-social” and “dangerous;” now the Berlin Zoo is trying to mate him with his first cousin, which PETA Germany advises against because of the extra risk of their offspring inheriting genetic abnormalities. Just neuter him, and it’ll be all right, they say! But: “The castration of Knut would cause dismay among his fans around the world and would reduce his market value.” I think the first problem here is referring to the procedure as “castration,” but what do I know, I’m a lady.

A fox-hunt-supporter got too close to a “gyrocopter,” the blades of which vertically split his head in two. The world has lost another hero, you guys.

Jonathan Kauffman likes Enjoy Vegetarian more than I do, but not nearly as much as Laura does. But that bitch likes everything and I am always in a bad mood/have indigestion, so can you really trust either one of us? (hint: probably not)

Emily Stokes is the most put-upon reporter on the Financial Times staff: she had to eat at a vegan restaurant with Jonathan Safran Foer, where the food was awful and JSF was smug, telling her about how he wouldn’t even use his own fork to move the meat off his plate when it was served to him in a Ukranian restaurant 10 years ago. I feel like this opportunity might’ve been better appreciated by Mark Rowlands, who seems like less of a sourpuss. Bourdain, of course, is the same old big-talking doucheface he’s always been.

JSF “shuns” fake meat (including seitan, which, what?); Anneli Rufus think it’s “like having sex with a blow-up doll.” PLEASE PLEASE tell me what you think, I AM DYING TO KNOW. For reals, let’s discuss.

Call us names/ask us out: this week we criticized the trope of the Vegan Boy, and got all huffy about rabbit-killing (again).

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