Five vegan heels I’d wear if I hated my ankles »
Alternative title: I get cranky in high heels. But dang it, sometimes I just want to dress like a stripper. Every time I try though, I become a total asshole. A taller, hotter asshole but still, you can’t go around being a jerk just because your feet hurt. But if I were capable of tolerating them, these are the crazy high heels I would wear!
I enlisted the help of my kid sister Cally as she knows everything about fashion (and very little about anything else!). She’s such a dear, the poor girl. Ever since I found the “gmail this” bookmarklet, she gets gaggles of emails asking for her opinion on every vegan shoe from here to outer space. She’s always nice when she responds and tells me all the shoes I like are ugly. Now you too can benefit from her fashion expertise as all these shoes are Cally-approved! Let’s start this party:
Sea Peep-toe Pump from olsenHaus. I actually managed to pick this pair out myself! Cally’s thoughts: “I LOVE these ones. Totes cutes. You could wear them with tons of stuff and they would even be cute with tights in the winter.” Totes.
Galaxy Hokkaido Foster Glitter Pumps from Stella McCartney. These are the hotness, or as Cally phrased it, “they are like wham bam.” Wham bam, indeed.
Glamour Pump from Hearts of Darkness by Cri de Coeur at Mooshoes. This pair I picked out too though it’s hard to go wrong with a black pump. But these are hella tall! And with the amount of whiskey I drink, anything over two inches is just irresponsible. Cally’s thoughts: “They are be-a-utiful. Love a good black pump.”
GoMax Ashland 13 from Lulu’s. Now these shoes are only $31 which normally I would think is a great thing but I feel like that means you will DEFINITELY break your ankle. Cally’s thoughts on these: “Pretty shape.” Word.
Nashira from Neuaura at Mooshoes. OK, these are not approved! They are my wild card that Cally officially rejected: “I don’t like the weird colors.” But they remind me of Mondrian and that’s dope. I’d be walking all around like, Check me out, jerks! What? I can’t hear you over how hot I am! Everyone would really like that.
That’s all for today! Let’s all thank Cally for dropping some knowledge.