Review: Nabolom Bakery!  »

I used to date this fool who lived all the way in Berkeley and would occasionally bring me a vegan cinnamon roll from Nabolom Bakery. This is probably why the relationship lasted longer than it should have. Another reason that it lasted longer than it should have is that my neighbors at the time were a bunch of busybody old-lady assholes who would frequently comment on the fact that I had a lot of “gentlemen callers” when in reality most of them were friends or lesbians. It’s like, “I KNOW YOU’RE 10,000 YEARS OLD AND THE LAST TIME YOU HAD SEX IT WAS WITH A T-REX BUT PLEASE MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BEESWAX.*” Every time this d-bag came over, he’d be greeted by flashlights and binoculars. FLASHLIGHTS, PEOPLE. Those ridiculous geezers would peer through their windows in their hairnets, dressing gowns and pantaloons (that was the fashion back then), calling each other to be all, “There she goes again! That girl can’t keep ‘em shut!” UGH.

So anyway, that relationship lived on long past its expiration date because of Nabolom’s vegan cinnamon rolls and good old-fashioned neighborly spite. Also, excellent sex. I think, I can’t really remember actually. I, too, am getting old.

OH AND they have an amazing vegan chocolate cake. And carrot muffin. And lots of other yummy vegan baked goods. Delicious.

*I say beeswax here because you gotta speak to them in language they can understand—you know, whatever they were speaking in South Mesopotamia when those hagathas weren’t HELLA OLD.

[photo via yelp]

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