Review: Mission Pie!  »

Mission Pie has a new pie, and finally, finally, it is vegan! The flavor is apple, and at $3.50 a slice, it will cost you as much as a cupcake elsewhere, but it is a hearty piece of pie that you eat it warm, with a fork, and a cup of coffee, and what a wonderful snack that makes! I say this because that was my lunch today, Mission Pie’s vegan apple pie and coffee, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Mission Pie moved into a new building on the corner of Mission and 25th Streets earlier this year, and began baking onsite just a month ago, on Nov. 17. This I believe bodes well for the fate of vegan pies, as the pie-bakers will be better able to meet our demands if they can turn around and bake us up something nice in under an hour.

The crust on this vegan apple pie (of THE FUTURE*) is thick, rustic I guess, and has a nice buttery flavor, although I could not say for sure if they used miracle product Earth Balance. Regardless, it does not contain the products of animal exploitation, and it tastes good, and that is that.

Ha ha NO, a three-paragraph review does not belong on Vegansaurus: we believe in the quality of quantity, as it were. So let’s discuss Mission Pie’s second annual pie-baking contest of Aug. 3, in which three Vegansaurs + Joel entered pies. Jonas made a (key, had there been any such fruits available) lime pie; Laura made a shoo-fly pie; Maria made a shepherd’s pie; and Joel made a tomato and roasted pepper tart. (For reasons I cannot now recall, Joel did not say his tart was vegan on his entry form.)Unfortunately we only have documented evidence of Joel’s tart, but rest assured we were able to taste a bit of each other’s pies, and found them all very good. There was one other vegan entry, I believe it was some kind of seasonal fruit pie, and someone snagged a piece of that for us to share as well. The crowding was not too terrible, and people were able to take their plates outside after filling them with pies (post-judging, the pies were sliced and put out on long tables, for attendees to serve themselves buffet-style).

When awards time finally, finally came, I felt quite confident in the nascent Vegansaurs’ chances of winning. Our four pies were so good! There were so many peach/nectarine/blueberry/boring old egg-and-butter entries, how could we not win at least on originality? Well! As it turned out, the same people who won for Youngest Baker, Best Crust, and Best Overall Pie the year prior won the same titles in this year’s competition, which, fine, all right. However, the good people of Mission Pie also created a new category, Best Vegan Pie, and honored our Laura and her shoo-fly pie with the award! Of course, the prize was a gift certificate to Mission Pie, which at the time made exactly one vegan item, a carrot muffin, and that only occasionally, so perhaps it was not then the most valuable prize. Four months later, it’s all worth it! Right, Laura?

Our job now is to patronize Mission Pie, and eat up all their vegan apple pie, to prove the existence of a vegan customer base and the demand for vegan pies. Because honestly, for me apple pie is OK, but it is not the pie of pies. I want all their pies veganized: walnut, pear ginger, banana cream—wait, gross, no banana cream—whatever “shaker lemon” is, I love lemon pies, and pumpkin. And they’ve got apple cranberry torture pie? Why not throw some cranberries in our apple pies, too, Mission Pie? Vegans love a culinary adventure! OK maybe that is a generalization I have no way of proving, but this vegan loves cranberries above all berries and would love to have a piece of cranapple pie from you. So let’s get to this already, there is pie waiting to be eaten and demands waiting to be made.

*the vegan lifestyle is the future, you guys, come on. the world can’t handle the massive “production of livestock,” that is to say, all the animals shoved together in huge areas, eating unnatural food, ruining the land, farting the atmosphere into oblivion. Tanneries, too, where they take cow and calf skins and magically transform them into material for shoes and coats and bags and gloves and couches and 99 percent of the items worn and used by Folsom Street Fair enthusiasts. You’ll all be in Matt & Nat-style vegan “leather” soon enough, you murderous bastards, even the shoe collectors. First of all, eat some vegan pie, and tell me you don’t get as much satisfaction out of it as any piece of murder pie (death pie? torture pie? this still needs working out).

blog comments powered by Disqus
Tumblr » powered Sid05 » templated