vegansaurus!

06/02/2010

What’s new at Rainbow Grocery: a vegan odyssey!  »

Man, we have it so lucky in the bay area. In other parts of the country, they have to literally climb mountains, cross rivers, and pass tests of endurance, skill, and wit to get to a quality vegan cupcake. For a decent vegan pizza, they must whittle a squirrel while riding an elliptical. For vegans in Middle Earth America, grocery shopping is basically like living in Saw, but worse*. WHICH LEADS ME TO MY NEXT POINT: God Bless San Francisco and God Bless Rainbow Grocery. Now, let’s get down to business!

First, we have VEGAN COOKIE DOUGH. That’s right, we can eat cookie dough straight out of the tub with the fattest of ‘em! And guess what, we ain’t getting Salmonella! HELL YEAH. Check out the ridiculously amazing Eat Pastry in the frozen section!

AAAAAAND… let’s give it up for Tofurky Pizzas! It’s a melty, delicious, Daiya-topped, vegan pizza and it’s ALL YOURS. It’s like $8 so my cheap ass will be saving it for special occasions like weddings and graduations and days ending in y. The actual pizza doesn’t look exactly like the box but SEX SELLS.

Also, vegan fertilizer for vegans who want to get DIR-TAY. Sorry, listening to too much Christina Aguillera.

Don’t know much about this but thought it might be of note for all you outdoorsy types. Cheers!

*I kid! It’s pretty easy to be vegan just about anywhere in America and so all you whiners better shut the hell up and GO VEG! Also, MOVE TO A COAST. I kid again, GO MIDWEST!

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