The Beehive Market!   »

The Beehive Market is a new flea/farmers/food market that’s opening on Saturday, June 12 in the parking lot of the Berkeley Adult School. It’s the ultimate hippie mart (what? you love it, you composting, communal hot-tubbing, vegan psychopath!); it runs every Saturday from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. and there looks to be lots of vegan vendors, including some I haven’t heard of (yay! more vegan food! bring it!) and also, Scream Sorbet. I had the pleasure of trying this delicious shiz at the farmers market in Marin (I’m fancy) and it was good times. I’m not normally a big fan of sorbets (I WANT A REAL DESSERT DAMMIT) but this stuff knocked me out. It’s the whole package plus it does its taxes. I enjoyed the cashew caramel flavor—it was creamy and delicious like WHOA. The little dude running the booth was kind of a pill but I can imagine dealing with my fat ass requesting the 11th taste of the same flavor (what! Samples are free! That’s why they’re called free samples!), that even a man with the patience of the Buddha would start to get a little testy. Whaves, their product is quite superior and they’re gonna blow up so HOP ON BOARD THE SCREAM TRAIN OR GET LEFT BEHIND, SKINNY. 

Point is, get your ass to The Beehive Market on Saturday, June 12, and every Saturday after that. 

Ooh: also Sarah Smart from Millennium will be selling her Rocket Ship Ice Cream too so HEY NOW.  

To prove how amazing this chick is, here’s a picture of Shannon and Flori of Cinnaholic's Ice Cream Wedding cake (that's right, I said, ICE CREAM WEDDING CAKE) made by one Rocket Ship Ice Cream:

DAAAAAANG, Son. It tasted even better than it looked. Hate on, haters! Also, the wedding was amazing and they are the best!

LATE BREAKING BIT O’ BAD NEWS: They’re apparently roasting AN ENTIRE PIG at this sustainable, green, event where they encourage you to “leave with a rescued bunny.” Yes! Let’s save one animal and feast on another! Makes so much sense! I’m bummed; I thought it was gonna be an all-veg affair. I mean, if we can’t expect that from the Berkeley hippies, what can we expect? Oh that’s right, body odor and a superiority complex. Oh and jerking it to Alice Waters posing naked with only a copy of The Omnivore’s Dilemma covering her delicate bits.* I’m sorry, you can’t feel all high and mighty, Slow Food Nation, when you’re saving all of the dead pig for yourself. If these people really gave two shits about sustainability, they would eat vegan 95 percent of the time and donate the few animals that they can raise and murder “responsibly” to food deserts. Right? Isn’t that how we’re gonna feed the the country? Oh but you want all the “ethically” raised and “lovingly” murdered dead animals for yourselves, don’t you? You rich hippie wackadoos. ANYHOO, write the Beehive Market a polite email asking that they not do the pig roast because it’s going to alienate the people who actually give a shit about creating a sustainable future.


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