vegansaurus!

06/30/2011

The meat industry is plain fucking evil  »


Our boyfriend Philapotamus is over at Grist talking about how the meat industry turned abuse into a business model. It’s a pretty solid piece and a quick read so why don’t you go over there and tell him what a good job he did and also, remind him to buy almond milk on his way home and oh yeah, to give up being a hypocrite and STOP EATING DEAD ANIMALS. And then apologize for our outburst thusly:

"We kid, honey, you’re doing a great job, we love how vocal you are against big meat ag almost as much as we love your jaunty cap. But we think that deep down you know that the fastest way to stop abusing animals is to stop eating them.”

J/K that’ll never happen, but we know some people are gonna eat meat and so there has to be better ways to get them the dead animal flesh they need so badly and we support any opponent of the factory farm system and please forgive a lady for whining, but ugh VEGANISM IS DELICIOUS and FUN and WE’RE ALL SEXY AND NAKED OVER HERE. Just stop eating meat! Just stop! It’s not that hard! And it feels awesome to know you’re not giving those assholes a red cent! And you’re not taking a life just for your own momentary pleasure! I mean, it’s perverse! KNOCK IT OFF! 

Sorry, I’m all jet-lagged and have no patience for people who eat dead animals right now. I just don’t. I used to love meat more than I loved having the use of my legs and I stopped. Seriously, I stole a chicken leg from a dog’s mouth once and I ate that thing. I was five but does that excuse the fact that I ATE A CHICKEN LEG THAT HAD BEEN IN A DOG’S MOUTH and then I used the cartilage as chewing gum. I’m just trying to make you understand the level of devotion I had to meat times in meat town. I was the mayor and president! Point is: If I can do it, so can you! Seriously, no matter how much you think you love meat and can’t live without it, you can. And it feels awesome, I promise. Well, I can’t promise, you might just be a straight sociopath. If that’s the case, email me because I need some favors.

NOW BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED, LESS WHINY PROGRAMMING AND I NEED TO TAKE SOME THERAFLU AND GO BACK TO BED I LOVE YOU ALL USA USA USA! 

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