St. Francis Fountain!  »

I pity the toe-fool who doesn’t enjoy the delicious tofu scrambles at St. Francis Fountain!

I don’t know. But I really like this place. They have an entire section of the menu dedicated to “veg-heads” that includes tofu scrambles, a toasted vegan sandwich (roasted veggies and some sort of a delicious sauce that’s put in some sort of a marvelous panini machine) and boring boca burgers. They also have a vegetarian rueben but the sauce isn’t vegan so what’s the fun? Also, it’s just grilled veggies, throw some tempeh up in that mother! Let’s do this!

But perhaps the most marvelous thing about St. Francis Fountain is the fact that you can get VEGAN MILKSHAKES. That is correct, sir. They’re made with the soy gelato from Copa Loca and they are magnificent. The best and only way to do this is to get it made with fresh banana and strawberry OMGYGWTF!! It’s SO GOOD. It’s like a berry-banana blizzard (BBB) from DQ* but not filled with death, chemicals and diabetes.

The other most fun thing to do at St. Francis is to see how many people you can fit in a mini-booth. Our record is seven normals or two really awesome fat people.

EXPERT TIP: On a nice day, you can bring your dog and sit outside! As long as your dog isn’t my dog and wants to eat other dogs! Also, this place is pretty tiny so it’s best for groups of 2-4. It gets ultrasuper crowded on the weekends so prepare for a wait unless you come ungodly early or starving late. Oh and they also have a fresh candy stand inside that sells stuff like Dallas and 90210 trading cards and bubblegum and my personal favorite, MJ. Just look at that marvelous/terrifying mug. It never ceases to amaze/disgust. Listen, I’m pretty sure he did it to those boys but he also brought us, “Beat It” which brought us, “Eat It”, so I guess all I’m saying is, GLASS HOUSES.

*aka, “THE BEST BEVERAGE KNOWN TO MAN OR BEAST”. I could live off the BBB. There was a point in my life that I would drink that instead of water during workouts. AND I WAS SKINNIER THAN I AM NOW. Take that, science!

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