Best popcorn recipe ever, you’re welcome  »

One of my favorite late-night snacks is salty popcorn damp with melted “butter;” don’t even talk to me about kettle corn, or we are not friends. Once I was no longer able to enjoy prepackaged microwave popcorn (even SmartPop has dairy, NOT SO SMART AFTER ALL), there was a void in my life. Oh, sure, I tried to fill it by air-popping bulk popcorn in the microwave; this technique never really worked right, instead causing melted plastic bowls, wasted brown paper sacks, burned kernels, kitchen fires, and so forth.

So I migrated my popcorn operation to a giant pot on the stove top. I’d dump in some oil or melt some Earth Balance at the bottom of the pan, toss the kernels in, and try not to burn my hands while shaking the pot vigorously. This inevitably resulted in burnt and unpopped kernels, not to mention a huge mess if the pot lid flew off.

Last night, I discovered something that savvy internet users have apparently known for some time: Making popcorn in the pressure cooker. It’s the BEST: no risk of the lid flying off while you’re shaking the pot, no burnt kernels, very few unpopped ones, salty and buttery popcorn, and just general awesomeness stuck between your teeth for days. There are many great reasons to own a pressure cooker, and I use mine all the time, but this is what truly made the acquisition worth it for me. Try it!

Pressure Cooker Popcorn

2 Tbsp. Earth Balance (or olive oil, if you’re healthy and shit)
1/4 cup popcorn kernels

You can make more, but be sensitive to your pressure cooker’s size, and use a 1:2 oil-to-popcorn ratio.

Put your pressure cooker on the stove, and heat it on high. Melt your Earth Balance if using. Meanwhile, remove or open the steam vent-thing or whatever keeps the pressure inside your cooker.

Throw three popcorn kernels in the pot and monitor them, but not too closely; you don’t want to lose an eye. When they pop, you’re ready to pour the rest of your kernels in. Shake the pot to distribute them evenly along the bottom. Fit the vented lid on top.

I know your arms are tired, but you’ve got to keep shaking the pot from side to side while keeping it on top of the burner. Trust, it will be worth it. Listen to the happy noise of popcorn popping. Remove the pressure cooker from the heat as soon as you count five seconds in between pops.

Pour your finished popcorn into a bowl, and marvel at its perfect beauty. Ruin it by dumping salt or nutritional yeast all over it. Shove into your facepiece by the handful. Be fat ‘n’ happy.

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