Penguins in sweaters!  »

Sad news: There’s been an oil spill on New Zealands coastpouring 350 tons of oil into the ocean. WTF! This is crazy! There’s more oil in the ocean than salt right about now. And it’s taking its effect on the environment and animals in said environment. And now? The penguins need sweaters, so they don’t preen their feathers and ingest the oil. Sheesh. That’s sad. But look at that penguin! So cute!

That’s the sad news, here’s the bad news: While they no longer need any more sweaters, in the instructions for making them, they said the sweaters could only be made of wool* for some reason? I guess we could have used reclaimed wool? I don’t know. Maybe we should start our own cotton sweater drive? I’m a great driver!

I’m just reading though that this is not the first penguin sweater craze—makes sense, as it’s not the first oil spill. Penguin sweaters over the years:

Australia, 2005.

South Africa, 2000. He’s all, “you guys look like CLOWNS.”

Tasmania, 2000. 

It’s sad circumstances and it’s horrible that animals suffer so much because of our greed and neglect—but damn it, those penguins do look sharp in sweaters!

*A bit about wool and cruelty. It does appear mulesing is being phased out in New Zealand, so that’s good. But while mulesing is the cruelest practice in wool production, I don’t think things are that sunny for the sheep at non-mulesing wool operations. There’s still being castrated without meds, packed into a warehouse, violently shaved in a speedy fashion (time is money), and all that other good stuff. So don’t wear wool, even if you’re a cute penguin. OMG are you thinking what I’m thinking? Say it with me: PENGUIN WETSUITS! THEY EXIST:


Wool Week: This should not be a thing  »

So I’m totally sick and tripping balls on NyQuil Walgreen’s Multi-Symptom Nighttime Cold & Flu Relief over here, but I can’t pass out till I tell you about this actual UK thing called “Wool Week.” Visitors to this highly anticipated annual event (which occurred last week so I’m a little behind JEEZ CUT ME SOME SLACK OKAY) got to view “art,” including “woolen ‘eggs’” (WTF is that supposed to be?) and a goddamned red carpet, made of wool, natch.

I don’t know about you guys, but I sure am glad Wool Week is “baa…ck.” Apparently, mulesing needed its own week of validation in addition to the millions of wool-producing sheep who endure this extremely painful procedure each year. Well, there you go, mulesing—and nasty-ass breeding practices, for good measure. Is all this suffering really worth the sweaters it produces? #synthetics4all

P.S. Sheep are not color-blind, in case you were wondering.

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