How badly do we all need this scarf? That scarf is turning me into a crazy cat lady. Seriously, this morning I couldn’t give two shits about cats*. Now? Gonna adopt all of them and get them each their own crazy cat scarf so we can form a crazy cat lady and cat army and basically just lounge our dirty asses on all your clean clothes and plot your grizzly death. Lez do this, cats.
*Except for the fact that they are MAGICAL LITTLE TIGERS WHO WALK AMONGST US.
All you chumps love owls and chocolate, right? Well, I’m about to blow your mind by throwing toffee into the mix and then putting that shit on a stick. BEHOLD THE MAGIC OF ETSY.
You can buy these Vegan Bacon Guinness Salted Caramels on Etsy! And before anyone freaks, it’s the vegan type of Guinness! That’s bacon and beer in a caramel. EAT IT, OMNIVORE BITCHES. No, I mean, really, eat it. It’s delicious.
OCD Sweets Caramels: EAT THESE IMMEDIATELY »
I already freaked out about OCD Sweets caramels before I even tried them. That’s just how I roll, I’m enthusiastic. Also: VEGAN CARAMELS. They’re few and far between, so when a new product enters the market, my body starts to simulate what I can only assume is a stroke. My heart starts to race, I break out in a cold sweat, and I get a little shaky. Imagine two really attractive people started making out in front of you (feel free to use the mental image of me and Gael García Bernal. Or me and me)—you know that kind of flustered excitement? That’s me when I hear about vegan caramels. I wish that were a joke or an exaggeration but I yam what I yam. And what I yam is a fat-ass vegan with hard-on for caramel.
I finally tried them. Holy. Shit. SOFUCKINGOOD*!&&^*&^*!^%@&^!%!!!!! I got my hot little hands on a massive quantity of the good stuff* and I was honestly blown away. These caramels are unlike anything I’ve ever tried. Sweet, smooth, creamy, and divine, with flavor combos that sound insane and taste amazing! I loved everything I tried, but I’d have to say my favorites were:
1) The Hoppy Vegan. It has BEER and PRETZELS in it and it’s SO G-D GOOD. I could just eat these and nothing else for days. Sure, I’d be urinating shit and crapping piss, but it’d be worth it. Annnnnnd, I’m really really sorry, I have no clue why I’m so gross today. I think I’m PMS-ing. CHOCOLATE! SHOPPING! ACK!
2. The Vegan Rosalia. Tangerine, dark chocolate, and roses. Seriously. It’s insane. I’d eat these until all my teeth fell out and had to be replaced. WITH SHARK’S TEETH.**
3. VEGAN BOOTY. It’s vegan toffee, y’all! From the site (which is adorable and the descriptions are so clever and perfect): “coconut butter toffee with toasted coconut inside, outside and all around, dark chocolate and shiver me timbers peel from a fresh picked orange.” UGH SO G-D GOOD.
Those are just a few of my favorites. Honestly, it’s hard to pick, so go with whatever sounds interesting to you. You won’t be disappointed!
Not only that, OCD SWEETS RECENTLY WENT ENTIRELY VEGAN! Yes, all of their products are totally vegan, and totally amazing. We need to buy up all their products to show them how much vegans appreciate their radness and their deliciousness. I just…I could not love them more. I love them so much that I’m thinking of driving to Other Avenues in the sleet and hail to get a fix. That’s saying something for me, as I don’t like to the leave the house if there’s even a slight inconvenience. This is me: “It’s 75 degrees out? Isn’t that a little hot to leave the house? I’m not Jamaican!” Or, “It’s 68 degrees out? Isn’t that a little cold to leave the house? I’m not Alaskan!” Or, “These pants are too heavy to lift, I don’t think I can leave the house today.” I’ve got a million of those! My skin is becoming see-through due to lack of sun and I’m pretty sure I’ve forgotten how to walk. Psych! I can walk to the fridge!
The point is, I don’t do much, and I’d do a lot for those caramels. If you can, go get ‘em at Other Avenues (and check their Facebook page for hopefully updated locations! or just fan them because they’re rad!). Or if you can’t get there (I feel you), go order ‘em and have a giant batch of delicious vegan caramel goodness delivered to your face. They might seem expensive, and that’s because they are, but you get a huge amount for the price. Enough caramel to serve as multiple desserts, and I can EAT. I just can’t say enough good about this company, the fantastic woman behind it, the delicious product, and yeah, it’s the best. Get up on this!
*One of the few perks of being a blogger. That, and a fat ass. And a gnawing sense of regret about the things you should be doing with your life. Also, carpal tunnel.
**Natural death, of course. Hopefully while battling a giant squid and a T. rex.
Hey L.A.! Keep sample sale! The whole weekend long! »
All lovers of hot vegan kicks should get their Southern California-living selves over to Keep’s sample sale, happening NOW through Sunday at their Los Angeles office! Sample sales mean HUGE DISCOUNTS! And Keep shoes are remarkably true-to-size; if you wear a U.S. women’s size 7½, Keep’s size 7½s will fit just right, I swear. It’s amazing! Or maybe not, because they are default-women’s sized.
I’m super-into the Benton in organic glen plaid houndstooth; it’s a way-comfy shoe, and the mixed patterns in neutral colors mean they will go with roughly everything without being boring.
Keep’s sample sale runs today and Saturday from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., and Sunday from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Keep is located at 418A Bamboo Lane, between Hill and Broadway (“up the alley from Phoenix Bakery”). Go on, dispose of some income!
Vegan Black Friday Deals, y’all! Okay, unless you’re very noble and/or lazy and are observing Buy Nothing Day, here are some ways to get your vegan discount on.
Over at Vegan Essentials, they’ve got deals all weekend. Today (Friday, Nov. 26), 15 percent off ANY order through midnight with coupon code “BF1”. This offer expires at midnight on Friday! On Saturday, Spend $50 or more and get free UPS Ground shipping (or the equivalent off of any other shipping option including 2nd Day Air or USPS Mail) with the following coupon codes:
- BF2A: Use for orders with items totaling $50 to $75 to receive free shipping
- BF2B: Use for orders with items totaling between $75 and $100 to get free Ground shipping
- BF2C: Use for orders with items totaling between $100 and $125 to get free Ground shipping
- BF2D: Use for orders with items totaling between $125 and $150 to get free Ground shipping
- BF2E: Use for orders with items totaling $150 or more to get free Ground shipping
And then! On Sunday! They’re giving you free stuff! WOO! Who doesn’t like free stuff with their order? Every order placed on Sunday will automatically receive a free bar of Veganu soap ($1.49 value), and all orders of $50 or more can also receive a free bag of Dandies vegan marshmallows, too! (a $5.29 value). Just add at least one bag of marshmallows and use coupon code “dandies” for any order of $50 or more (Veganu is added when your order is packed and does not need to be added to the cart for purchase), and they’ll be free on any order placed on Sunday (offer expires at 11:59 p.m., just before the start of Monday!).
OK! NEXT BUSINESS!
Alternative Outfitters is offering 15 percent off everything in store, Friday through Sunday, with the coupon code “15Thanks10”. Ow!
The Humane Society of the United States is offering keepsake ornaments for you and your family and friends, if you make a donation. Not sure if this is just for Black Friday but you know, they’re awesome so DO IT.
Whole Foods in the Bay Area (and maybe all over) are offering mad discounts on Thanksgiving food that wasn’t purchased. Gardein stuffed turkeys, Tofurkys, Field Roast Stuffed Hazelnut Cranberry Roasts. All of those are in the frozen section. Plus, other cheap stuff all over the store, including vegan mashed potatoes and pies, depending on location! GET IT!
Humanitaire is super-sadly going out of business. They’re selling off all stock in their store (online and in their Santa Monica storefront) at 40 to 80 percent off regular price effective today. Because they need to sell everything, the sale will continue until they run out of stock (or until Dec. 27, their last day). So, go get some good deals and support a vegan business on its way out. You will be missed, Humanitaire; hopefully you are on to bigger and better things! Or just to regroup. Running a biz must be NO JOKE!
KNOW OF ANY OTHER DEALS!? Let us know and we’ll add them! Happy shopping, vegans!
WHAT WHAT IN THE BUTT! 20 percent off everything at AlternativeOutfitters.com TODAY ONLY! We’re talking shoes! And coats! And t-shirts! And bags! And other shit to satisfy the consumer whore in you!
Starbucks has vegan frappuccinos, FOR REAL!
Our BFFs at quarrygirl have the details, because apparently they’re available at a number of places in L.A. already. Fancy-pants coffee-swilling JERKS. The “full roll-out” of vegan frappuccinos is set for May 5, which hopefully means the damn Bay Area, not that any of us would ever deign to set foot in a Starbucks, what is this, 1999? Please.
But, you know, if you are somewhere without any local, fair-trade, happy-time coffee choices, and dying for some caffeine, in just a few weeks Starbucks will have another option for you. And it’s nice that they’re paying attention to people who don’t want any dairy in their damn coffee, right? RIGHT. It’s always nice to be recognized as a valuable customer.
Thanks for doing the research, QG! We loooooove you!
[photo from Quarrygirl, obvs.]
Take a break, ogle some shoes »
I know, you are up in arms about Monsanto and school lunches and my computer, and the weather is gloomy and nothing will ever be good again. I KNOW. It sounds like you could use some cheering up, my babies. So how about we look at some pretty, pretty shoes that are on super-duper sale?
Cri de Cœur is an all-vegan, eco-friendly company that makes pretty, pretty shoes, and Billion Dollar Babes is having a massive sale on some of their styles for the next 24 hours. Billion Dollar Babes is one of those members-only “HUGE DEALS ON DESIGNER STYLES” sites, but you don’t even need a recommendation from a current member to join; just put in your name and email and you’re in. If you’re interested in Cri de Cœur shoes I would recommend joining, as they seem to be significantly cheaper than usual.
Of course we’d all prefer to buy from a local retailer, but according to the Cri de Cœur website, the only two places you can buy them in California are in Santa Monica or Laguna Beach, to which we in Northern California say, Boo, we may eat like hippies but we dress like grown-ups, dang it. I mean they sell them in Brighton, which as I understand it is the English equivalent of San Francisco, so let’s get on it, people. I don’t see why a pretty pretty dress store like Ambiance couldn’t carry a few styles. They have enough Michael Stars “one size fits most” shirt/dress/whatever garments to clothe a little army, anyway.