Please email, call and fax* by tomorrow (Wednesday, Sep 9) and ask the USDA to remove the lovely Queenie from her shit-tastic owners and put her in a beautiful sanctuary. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT SO TAKE FIVE MINUTES OUT OF YOUR LIFE DON’T BE SO SELFISH GOD. I know you’re reading this on your MacBook Pro while you lay in bed and drink margaritas and are all fat and happy and rich and shiz. You can take a second to help Queenie. If they get calls and complaints, we can make a difference. DO IT TO IT, Vegansaurus readers!
*A FAX. FOR REAL. It’s the GOVERNMENT. They don’t really accept technology or the future. You’re lucky the message doesn’t have to be delivered by a stripper who reads it while jiggling her tits in some gross-ass bureaucrat’s face WHAT DOES A PERSON HAVE TO DO AROUND THIS PLACE TO GET HEARD!? Actually, that’s not a terrible idea. If you have the time, money and inclination, you should get on that. Let’s get Queenie outta there, boys!!
∞ posted at 17:39 by laurahooperb