Top Chef Loses Two  »

Paris, Las Vegas! Just like the real thing!I tuned into this week’s Top Chef a little late, so I was delighted to find that Jessie had been put out of her misery and finally been eliminated after essentially living in the bottom three. Good riddance to those tacky face piercings.

The elimination challenge itself was to cook for and fellate Joël Robuchon. The latter may not have been an official part of the challenge, but it sure felt like it with the chefs freaking out in way that would make Rachel “I DIEEEEEE” Zoe proud. Kevin Gillespie, Season 6’s winner, er I mean, the James Beard award-winning front-runner who won this episode’s quickfire, was allowed to sit at the grownups table to taste his competitor’s wares. He wisely didn’t say much during the meal.

As you could probably guess, this episode had very little in the way of herbivore-friendly food. The Quickfire was all dead snails and the elimination challenge was a veritable meat orgy, which included foie gras and rabbit. Episodes like this always make me wonder how a vegan chef would fare if they had to compete amongst all that. Could a Top Chef contestant just refuse to use meat?

Anyway, there were a few things that could work, with a bit of tweaking, naturally: Robin’s avocado soup was one, minus the crab. Or maybe you could use fake crab from a Chinese fake meat emporium? Your best bet would be Mattin’s fava bean crostini from the quickfire, minus the snails. The recipe calls for Pernod, so then you can drink! Or, I can drink it.

Sadly, Hector, who created the tofu ceviche a few weeks back was sent home for a disastrous steak dish. I was kind of annoyed that Mattin wasn’t sent home, especially when he flat-out lied at judge’s table about Ashley wanting to use asparagus in the sauce. Also, Mattin’s specialty is Basque cooking, not French. His prattling on about how he was going to do so much better because he was from France was obnoxious and in the end, he couldn’t even deliver on a classic French dish.

Next week: Las Vegas is hot! Tom throws out food! Jen Caroll continues to freak me out!

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