It’s time for Puppy Bowl VIII! »
Let’s get ready to PUPPIES!
All the players in Puppy Bowl VII are both totally adorable and totally adoptable. Who are your picks for MVP? Does anyone else dream about being the ref? PUPPIES I LOVE YOU. See you in two weeks!
Hello, friends! It’s WTF Wednesday! (on Friday!) »
[Ed. note: Mark sent this to us on Wednesday this week, but some people fell down on the job and failed to post it until today! Blame us, not Mark!]
You guys, I’m better now, but last week was a low point in my holiday season. I generally love all the holidays and try to stay pretty chipper throughout, but it was pretty difficult last week. I was rolling through life with a sinus infection, and there was not much that could lift my spirits. When such things happen, there is generally one thing that can keep me up even during the toughest times. I am talking, of course, about the winning combination of small children and animals!
Here is a video of a baby human and a baby Yorkie having the best time ever. You know what is awesome about this video? What is awesome is that even though the dog is much smaller than the human, it happily knocks the baby down and proves its dominance. In like the cutest way imaginable. I mean, if a dog like this knocked your baby down, you wouldn’t even be able to say anything but “awww.” Even if the dog then happily made a snack of the baby you would be forced to find it adorable. Luckily, the Yorkie doesn’t snack on babies, it just locks them half to death.
If your baby is inconsolable, however, just get a cat to calm it the fuck down. I especially love the look on the cat’s face. It’s not like it’s all, “I care about you, tiny noise machine,” but more like, “I’ve got this. I’ve read Go the Fuck to Sleep. And by god you are going to close your fucking eyes and not bother anyone again until tomorrow.” This is also Allen’s approach, by the way. Every time he thinks I am making too much noise he puts his hand on my head and hopes that I will shut up. If I am making too much noise at night he gently calms me down by putting a pillow over my face. The last sentence was a cry for help.
If babies don’t cheer you up as much as they cheer me up, however, here’s a music video about breaking kneecaps. Breaking knee caps is also a cheerful holiday activity!
That’s it for this week! Send me links for next week and have an awesome holiday weekend. If you don’t celebrate this particular holiday, I still hope uou get Monday off!
[Christmas hamster photo by LuLu Witch via Flickr]
These two fox terrier-mix puppies need homes! Can you help? »
How cute are these babies? Pro tip: SO CUTE! They are at the Harvest Home Animal Sanctuary in Stockton, CA and they need homes! Lena and Lewis both have petfinder pages. The brother and sister were found sad and dirty on a country road in Stockton in October. Lena is lively and gentle and likes getting hugs (OMG!). Lewis is a “miniature athlete with a winning heart of gold,” and is looking for some nice active humans. They sound so cute! They LOOK so cute! Someone out there must be looking for cute puppies like these. If you can’t adopt them, maybe you know someone who can? Send this around to your friends and family! Post it on Facebook! These guys deserve homes and every little bit helps!
If you want more info or want to meet Lena and/or Lewis, contact Lena at email@example.com.
Update 3:40 p.m.: James has been found! A lady bought him outside the Safeway on Mission, saw him on the news, and returned him! The SF SPCA says they plan to reunite—or really, unite—James with his new adoptive family at 5:30 today! Hooray!
Have you seen this puppy?
His name is James, and he was taken from the San Francisco SPCA Adoption Center yesterday afternoon. Krista Maloney of the SFSPCA writes that James is “a light brown and white mixed-breed puppy. He was scheduled to go home with his new adoptive family this evening. He has been neutered and his microchip number is 982000167765783.”
James is just eight weeks old, and was scheduled to go home with his adoptive family today, until he was PUPPY-NAPPED. How awful. Click through for the SF SPCA’s press release about poor James. If you have any information, please contact the SF SPCA at (415) 554.3029; there is a $500 reward for little James’ safe return.
On Cropped Ears & Adopting These Cute-Ass Puppies! »
First off: People who crop puppies ears are total idiot assholes. Secondly: People who crop puppies ears at home with box cutters and no anesthesia are like, OMG LET ME AT THEM. I know it’s our fucked society that treats people like garbage and so they in turn treat animals, kids, and the elderly like garbage, and I waiver back and forth between being mad at individuals and being mad at society and mainly, I’m just hella pissed off all the time. Mainly at society. A society that would let these two sweet puppies get their ears cut off with box cutters! Ugh!
ANYWAY, San Francisco-based Rocket Dog Rescue just got these two sweet three month old puppies in and they are SO DAMN CUTE and need foster or adoptive homes STAT! If you don’t know what fostering is, it’s the greatest and I’m too pressed for time to explain it right now (not doing anything special, just gotta eat lunch) but read this thing I wrote for the Bold Italic about it. If you don’t know what adoption is, you are… I don’t even know what you are but I’m impressed you can read this blog post!
So anyway, these two sweet loving wonderful pups are named Mack (darker guy) and Jack (lighter guy) and they need your help! If you know anyone in the SF Bay Area who might want to foster or adopt, please text Pali from Rocket Dog Rescue at 415 756 8188. Be persistent! She gets a million billion calls, emails, and texts a day and she needs to be harassed to make sure she prioritizes you and your need to cuddle one of these cute-ass puppies!
Pali says of the pups:
These pups are coming to rocket dog rescue TODAY, the pups are 3 months old, came into the shelter with a horrible home “crop job” ears cut off with box cutters, duck tapped to cardboard. poor little guys. they need extra special homes that will love and protect them. Adoptions have slowed down and we really want to get these pups into the safe and happy homes they so deserve. They are nice boys… happy, playful, and have a natural sweetness that just glows from them. This is the best day ever (so far) and every day will get only better.
I love you, Mack and Jack! May you get the best homes ever that are deserving of your wonderful selves and may you never not know a day filled with cuddles and scratches and long walks in the sunshine and many cookies, both of the canine and human variety!
Your government loves puppies again! »
Everyone loves puppies. Politicians love puppies! Or at least, they hate them less than they hate you, because California Governor Jerry Brown signed S.B. 917 into law this week, and now the puppies are saved! Or at least, puppies and also kittens and also other pet-type animals can no longer be sold from public property like parking lots and streets. This is supposed to cut down on puppy mills and puppy-mill-type operations, which are obviously terrible and disgusting.
The law also increases the penalties for perpetrators of animal abuse! Now being convicted of cruelty to animals “is punishable by imprisonment in a county jail for not more than one year, or in the state prison, or by a fine of not more than $20,000, or by both that fine and imprisonment.” Better than before.
California is full of chickens living in horrible conditions laying top-quality California eggs and also cows being forced to produce milk to make California cheese that must be the most amazing food on the planet, considering the way people go on about it. It does seem that, incrementally, our representatives are making it less terrible for our domesticated animals; maybe it’s not all bad everywhere all the time.
SFACC Needs Towels for the Animals! »
If you have any extra towels laying around, please bring them to SFACC (1200 15th Street at Harrison). They’re open from 11 am to 6 pm everyday, and until 7 pm on Wednesdays (that’s TODAY!). They don’t care if the towels are frayed or stained, as long as they’re clean! If you can help with this critical shortage, you are a superstar and the greatest and will be rewarded with many pit bull kisses when you inevitably get to heaven!
[pic via FunnyCoolStuff]
These little munchkins are Wilma and Betty, two-month-old pit bull sisters at the Benicia-Vallejo Humane Society. They have both been spayed and their shots are current—like all shelter animals!—meaning they are ready for a permanent home. Of course Misses Wilma and Betty may be adopted singly or together, but if you want to take your own pictures of them in their little fleece shirts, you’d better act quick; you’ll be looking for much larger fleeces very soon.
We have had so many food photos recently, and Vegan MoFo is over, so I thought for a change we could feature some PUPPIES today!
Meet Barbie, Skipper, Ken, and Francie, born just 10 weeks ago and all of two pounds each! They are some kind of dachshund/chihuahua mix, meaning they probably won’t get too super-giant, and are fixed, potty-pad trained, super-happy, and ready to be adopted. Currently they live in Vacaville, at 4 Paws Pet Rescue, but you know they’d be a million times happier living WITH YOU.
And possibly with better names, not that I’m judging except I totally am. The point is, PUPPIES! With those little burglar-mask markings, they look like they’ve been put in jail. For crimes of ADORABILITY in the THIRD DEGREE.
Some of us at Vegansaurus have been pretty depressed of late; in protest, and because I hold all the editorial power through Monday, I may post adoptable puppies ALL DAY. Have a photo of your adorable animal you’d like to share? I’ll take it!
Happy-time puppy pictures from Jorge Garcia and Cuddly Canines! »
You guys. YOU GUYS!
First, because I am like a newborn baby who knows nothing outside of her internet bubble of journo-criticism, esoteric fashion (Should Be on The Nanny, I love you), Bay Area gossip/news, and Wonkette, did you know there is at least one dog adoption organization that takes MOSTLY PUPPIES, because I had NO IDEA!! Someone should have told me, I would visit it every day. Even the most hideously disfigured rescue animals are 1,000 times more adorable than any “zooborns” photos. But back to the puppies: this place, Cuddly Canines Rescue!, is somewhere in the wilds of Los Angeles, who knows, that place is an enormous sprawl, and they have something like 1 billion puppies and mother dogs and ex-mother dogs in various foster homes awaiting adoption. In the meantime, they are looking cuuuuute on the internet.
Should you take time between convulsions of teeny-tiny nosies and itty-bitty pink tongues and weensy paws and just-opened eyes oh man some of them don’t even have hair yet UGH and read their stories, mostly you’ll get angry; pregnant dogs abandoned in shelters, running in the streets without collars, wandering parking lots; week-old puppies dumped at shelters in cardboard boxes—people are horrible. Please spay and neuter your companion animals of every species.
How did Vegansaurus find out about Cuddly Canines and its zillions of puppies? Jorge Garcia just adopted two wee dogs through them! Look at these little monsters!
PUPPIES PUPPIES I WANT TO EAT THEM. Aren’t they darlings? Of course they are, they are puppies! We live in the U.S., we only see adorable puppies here. These two are called Pip—the weest one in the back—and Smidge, and we could probably call them the luckiest dogs of the month, too. They are so well loved!
You see, pals, dogs of all ages need adopting. There is absolutely no “need” to buy a dog to get a puppy—can we let Jorge Garcia and his pair of earmuffs put that lie to rest? Always, always look for adoptable animals; it’s our responsibility as animal-lovers and animal-rights advocates to encourage everyone we’ve ever met to do this. Maybe instead of just harping about it like shrews, though, we could try harping on about it with PHOTOS OF ADORABLE PUPPIES HOLY MOLY.
When I am ready to quit my crazy single life of dog-sitting and book-reading, I will retire to farm needy babies and puppies, eventually creating a mass of adorability so concentrated residents within 100 miles will have constant smiles.