380 million egg recall now underway. Great!  »

Yep, 380 MILLION EGGS are being recalled. Jesus fucking christ. The Humane Society warns of a huge public safety risk (UH NO DOY) and calls on the egg industry to phase out battery cages. According to HSUS, scrambling eggs doesn’t kill Salmonella so it’s not even just uncooked eggs you gotta watch out for and that is SO GROSS. Further, eggs from confined hens have 7.77 times greater odds of carrying Salmonella. Again, SO FUCKING GROSS.

You know what has no risk of Salmonella? NOT EATING EGGS. I don’t get it. What is with America’s dependence on eggs? They’re bad for us, the industry is evil to everyone involved (systemic price-gouging, anyone?), and even The Kitchn says vegan cupcakes taste better!

Just quit it! We can help. Anyone willing to give up eggs for a month should holler at me and i’ll make you a dozen vegan cookies. NO I SERIOUSLY WILL. Wait, should we make this a thing? Like get a list of people willing to commit to giving up eggs for a month and getting some cookies in return? Would that work? I’m willing to put my baking clothes (read: eating pants) on to make that happen! 

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