vegansaurus!

Island Earth Farmers’ Market shut down by Board of Health!?

According to friend of Vegansaurus, Kim (Hi Kim!), The Island Earth Farmers’ Market at the Metreon had all their hot food vendors shut down by the Board of Health today. Those mothers don’t play. It’s apparently some kind of permitting/bureaucratic crackdown (and not a health code violation! Phew!).

One of the vendors told Kim that there’s some kind of appeal meeting tomorrow. Trying to find out where it is because I’ve been quite enjoying that market, 3rd World feel and all.

Vegan grilled cheese a possibility!

The American is a new grilled cheese restaurant opening in South Park (January-ish, we gather?), and we have heard through the grapevine that some vegan options may be included in the final menu. Currently, vegan grilled cheese is only available in SF at Ike’s Place.

Follow them on Twitter to stay apprised for now!

AMC Loews Metreon!

The Metreon theater is probably my favorite place in San Francisco to see a (non-indie*) movie because it’s in close proximity to the new Island Earth Farmers’ Market deliciousness (um, in the same building). You can grab some vegan snackities and sneak them into the theater (oh and check out VegNews list of vegan friendly movie theater fare…red vines, holla!) and then get ready for the show of your life because this theater can get <3 GHETTO <3.

Seeing a movie here makes me so thankful that i have safe and legal access to RU-486. I mean, what kind of a human being brings their child to see Saw XL: SERIAL KILLERS EATING BABY FACES?! That’s some straight Britney Spears shit there. That woman should be imprisoned for life and I should be given her kid to raise on an island with only tree bark for food and sea shells for reading material. Believe me, the child would be far better off. And by far better off, I mean famished, dehydrated and dumb as dirt. So as I was saying, far better off.

PRO TIP! When the box office line is out of control, go UPSTAIRS and buy your ticket from the automated machines by the snack bar. There’s never a wait. YOU’RE WELCOME.

*oh like you never jerked it to Hilary Duff, LIAR.

Ted’s Market!

It’s all well and good that we have restaurants like Herbivore and Cha-Ya, fine all-vegan establishments that they are. But vegans don’t have to be ghettoized, consigned to eat only with our own kind in where places no gung-ho carnivore would set foot*. Sometimes vegan options turn up in the most unexpected places. It’s like finding Incan gold** (um, except without the genocide).

Ted’s Market is a corner store deli (but not on the corner, go figure) with your usual array of sandwich fixings. The real reason to come here, though, is the vegan salami sandwich. Get one with avocado, hold the cheese & mayo, and delight in the fact that you can enjoy your neighborhood deli just like the “normals”***. I’m not saying Ted’s can hold a candle to Ike’s Place, but it’s a nice alternative when you can’t make it all the way to the Castro, say. Moreover, Ted’s proves the point that a business can make small concessions like this to vegans without bending over backwards, and everybody ends up happier. Except for those of us who show up after 5:00, when the deli counter closes.

The website notes that, “there is one vegetarian/vegan soup offered daily (subject to cook’s temperamant.[sic]” Love this for many reasons: sassy cook, sassy website, sassy spelling! Bring us the sass, Ted! Oh, they also have vegan chili! Get that when you’ve had your wisdom teeth out like me and can’t eat hard foods. In fact, I am very pathetic right now. Send me ice cream. And money. Mainly money, seems to be the only cure for this HORRIBLE HORRIBLE PAIN.

*Although, it must be noted that many gung-ho carnivores go apeshit for places like Cha-Ya that don’t offer any fake meat because they feel the food is more pure and vegans should just eat vegetables and wheatgrass. These people are ASSHOLES. I don’t eat meat not because it doesn’t taste good, but because I don’t want to contribute to the destruction of the earth and its inhabitants, ASSHOLE.

**That’s today’s history lesson, Sherman!

***normals = ASSHOLES!

ZPizza featuring Daiya vegan cheese to open in San Francisco!

ZPizza is opening SOMETIME IN 2009 (that’s THIS year, fools!) at 833 Mission Street (at 4th Street). Yes, THE ZPizza of serving Daiya cheese fame (it’s vegan! it melts! it stretches! It’s AMAZING!) fame. Quarrygirl reports on ZPizza being super fucking delicious and according to our sources, this is absolutely correct. You can get a super-fancy organic pizza with Daiya vegan cheese DELIVERD TO YOUR DOOR WE CANNOT FUCKING WAIT WE WILL BE BRINGING YOU TO-THE-MINUTE UPDATES ON THIS BITCH LADY.

If you live farther out in the boonies, you can currently get ZPizza in Danville, Fremont, Livermore (opening soon!), Moutain View and San Ramon! (Update: We just called the Mountain View location, and it appears they won’t be getting Daiya for about two weeks, so be sure to ask!)

You can DOWNLOAD (ugh WHY) the PDF menu (ugh WHY) here.

*So that’s SOMA. Why not in the Mission!? Fuck all our current pizza places, burn them to the ground and put up ZPizza, plz! CALM DOWN, I’m kidding! Serrano’s can stay.

Updated: Island Earth Farmers Market!

Hey you guys! There are big things happening inside the Metreon with Island Earth Farmers Market, and when you hear it, you will flip.

First, the market has expanded! They’ve got new vendors, including Kingdom Cake, a cupcakery whose menu lists five vegan flavors: vanilla, chocolate, red velvet, coconut, and basil lemon blueberry; All Star Tamales, with a “vegi-vegan” tamale; Vn’V Momo, with a veggie momo (yes please); Soleil’s African Kitchen, where it would appear a vegan could eat chef Soleil Banguid’s fried plantains (maybe the beignet de banane? That life should be so fair); and El Porteño, where the humita Argentinian empanada appears to be animal-free.

Secondly—and this sounds pretty terrific—Island Earth has introduced what they’re calling “Curb to Your” service, which is basically just what it sounds like: you shop at the farmers market, leave your purchases there, go about the rest of your day/errands/whatever, and call when you’re ready to pick up your stuff. Apparently “they” will bring all your purchases out to you, “without the shopper having to leave their car”! AMAZING! That is some convenience, there. Is the produce worth it? Are the new foods? Vegansaurus will find out for you, though probably not in a car. I don’t suppose “they” would bring your bags to a bus stop or Muni/BART station—yet.

Heaven’s Dog

Firstly, I wish it had a different name. “Heaven’s Dog” makes me think of gourmet hot dogs or some such, and I don’t want to make a special trip for gourmet hot dogs, however the rest of the world feels, I just don’t like them in that way. Luckily the restaurant doesn’t actually have anything to do with hot dogs, gourmet or otherwise, so if you get over the silly name then you should be fine. The food is good, and on the low side of expensive (about equal to Beretta), but nothing to really flip for. Let me tell you why, at great length!

Laura and I went on a Monday night, and it was slow as anything, hardly anyone was there. I think there was a family, as in, at least two adults and their coordinating small children finishing their supper when we arrived, somewhere around 8. That was unexpected, the family, but the kids weren’t loud or anything, and it was a Monday night, so maybe not so surprising. Our waiter seemed very Monday-night, quite mumbly and new. He was nice and helpful, knew what was and wasn’t vegan, asked about a substitution for us, and had good timing. He just seemed a little meek for the cutthroat world of restaurant service. Again, though, it was a slooooow Monday night, definitely a good time for a quiet waiter to work.

We ordered three items off the regular menu—two appetizers and one main dish—and the special appetizer. This was plenty of food for two people who love eating. Also, one cocktail each. Laura was most excited about the vegetarian pork belly dish, so obviously we had to order it; we also got an edamame salad, the dan dan mei (with flat rice noodles substituted for egg), and the special, kabocha done tempura-style.

The kabocha was marvelous. It was battered and fried, but much lighter than tempura, and the batter had some kind of seed crushed in it? Or maybe seaweed, because it was salty in a lovely fishy way that contrasted neatly with the sweetness of the squash. If it had only been cooked a bit longer—a few of the kabocha pieces were a bit too al dente. It could’ve also been accompanied by more tasty cranberry sauce, alas.

I liked the edamame salad pretty well; the “bean curd ribbons” turned out to be sort of tofu sliced to resemble noodles, and they were my favorite part, I guess because of the texture. Not quite raw noodles, you know, but cool and a little chewy and exactly right. The rest of the salad was fine; I expected more from the pickled mustard greens—I expected more pickled mustard greens—but, no big deal.

Unfortunately for the two of us, the vegetarian pork belly came three on a plate. Fortunately, they were all excellent, and as Laura is a supremely good friend (who had already asked for an order of them to take home to her boyfriend), she let me have the second one. They are made of mushrooms inside tofu skins topped with scallions and cradled inside pretty white clamshell buns, and you pinch them shut like teeny tacos and eat them up in two bites, chomp chomp, and they are scrumptious. They come with a sauce, which is fine, but I think they would’ve been better served with that cranberry sauce from the kabocha special.

The dan dan mei was not what I was expecting—it turned out to be this big creamy mess of noodles, with little pieces of tofu and some chilis here and there. There isn’t a picture of it because by that time I believe the photographer was overwhelmed by our meal, and tired of pausing before diving into the food. This was also the case with dessert. Very intelligently, Heaven’s Dog offers only three desserts, and one of them is vegan, hooray. It is a chocolate sorbet with a little salt—big fat black grains, name I can’t remember—on top of what they call a cherry compote that was actually just big fat cherries that had been soaking in some kind of sweetish-sourish sauce. The serving was plenty large enough for two to share, especially considering the size of our preceding meal.

Some notes: While the website claims the restaurant is inside the Soma Grand Hotel, a more precise description would be “shares a building with the hotel, but no connecting entrances, so don’t try to get into the restaurant through the hotel lobby.” It’d be a nice place to go if you are around Civic Center and loathe to go up the hill to Little Saigon/the ‘Loin. As ever, while the four dishes we ordered were confirmed vegan, I can’t speak for any of the other vegetarian items, so ask first, or order just like Vegansaurus did and ensure cruelty-free satiety (HO HO clever!).

Philz Coffee vs. Rodger’s Coffee and Tea!

Why am I comparing the two? Because one, I love to pit friends against each other in a bloody battle for my affections and two, they both specialize in “One Cup at a Time” coffee. If you live under a rock (or not in the Mission), what that means is, you choose exactly what type of beans you want, and they grind and brew them, mix in your desired quantities of sugar and soy milk, and deliver your dream coffee beverage. IN THEORY. In reality too, actually. After visiting both multiple times and sampling their wares, I can safely say: all this shit tastes the same, might as well be Folgers. If you’re looking for a detailed breakdown of the nuances and complexities and all that made-up bullshit people like to talk, look elsewhere! Hey Condescending Jerkface, this site isn’t called Pretentiosaurus! Although, maybe it should be. Let’s put that in the hat for our next meeting.

So, I’m gonna talk about the pros and cons in terms of vegan baked goods, and the general feeling I get from the place; that’s just how it works around here.

Vegan baked goods
Philz: Carries vegan donuts from People’s Donuts: you’ve come a long way, baby! These are SO MUCH better than when they debuted. In fact, they are downright delicious and come in a variety of flavors, from Newman’s Own (CRUSHED COOKIES ON TOP OF A DONUT. Take a minute.) to blueberry to Bac-O-Bits (!? I don’t know, whatever, I guess the vegans want in on a slice of the bacon money. Because you can serve human shit as long as it’s wrapped in bacon and a group of devotee dumbasses will slurp it up. UGH GROSS). They are all excellent but my favorite remains the cinnamon sugar. Perfect. They also sell Zoe’s Cookies’ banana-walnut chocolate-chip cookies, and they are incredible; maybe my favorite vegan cookie in wide circulation in SF? Yes, I think so. They sometimes have some vegan loaf breads but I haven’t seen those lately. They are tasty.

Rodger’s Coffee and Tea: VEGAN BEIGNETS CAN I HEAR SOME NOISE FROM THE BACK!? Yes, they sell vegan beignets. Yes, the fluffy fried dough balls covered in powdered sugar. And yes, I want to marry them. They are soooo delicious and rich and you feel like you’re eating a funnel cake and ugh, they are so amazing. One of the best vegan baked (fried?) goods I’ve had ever and a reason to visit Rodger’s alone. WARNING: they are only available on weekends! But maybe if we are always buying them all, they will get wise and know to carry them every day, even Christmas. ESPECIALLY CHRISTMAS.

They also sell an excellent mushroom-and-spinach vegan empanada. Bring it home, heat it up (or have them do it) and enjoy your VEGAN HOT POCKET, BITCHES! And this one won’t try to kill you! They also have a large selection of vegan cookies from Alternative Baking Company (bo-ring but thanks for having them!) and some other vegan trail mix bars and shit. I don’t know, granola bars? Yawn.

General feeling I get from the place
Philz: Good. I like it. Kinda like your grandma’s living room if your grandma was kinda crazy and into the internet.

Rodger’s Coffee and Tea: Good. I like it. Kinda doesn’t seem to know if it wants to serve hipsters or yuppies so hey, let’s hit up both! Whatever, did I mention VEGAN BEIGNETS? Not tons of seating but you’re close to Dolores Park so go there anyway. Bench out front is good for judging LAME AND HIDEOUS* passersby.

BONUS QUESTION: Have I met this “Rodger” and/or this “Philz”?
Philz: His name is Phil and yes, he’s very nice! Also, a friend of mine was Phil once for Halloween and it was amazing.

Rodger: No, but his friend came to a Rocket Dog Rescue fundraiser and gave out coupons for a free cup of coffee! He seems like a good guy to me. These coupons are actually a genius take on the frequent buyer card: your first cup of coffee is free, as well as your last. (Does Philz even have a frequent buyer card? If they do, they don’t market them very well!)

Conclusion
Why not go to both!? Start at Philz, grab several donuts, eat on way to Rodger’s, buy beignets and empanadas, eat on way to Philz. Repeat. YOU’RE WELCOME.

*see!