Go see comedians TONIGHT at Saturn Cafe! AND tomorrow night, raise money for Friends of Animals! »
You already know about Saturn Cafe in Berkeley having all this awesome new vegan stuff and you want to check it out, right? Well, why not do it tonight and see some comedians at the same time? Comedy is funny! Even when it’s not! However, this comedy night is hosted by Alex Lerman, who is both vegan and hilarious. It is possible, folks. The show is FREE and they’re hoping for a good turnout so they can keep it going! So hey, why not go and hook up some comedians with a few laughs? Because nothing is worse than when the audience is deadly silent … I should know. Honestly, I’d rather have people throw tomatoes or hock loogies at me than that awful, awful silence. Shame. Anyhoo, RSVP and a few more details on Facebook!
TOMORROW NIGHT (Weds., Oct 27) 10 percent of the cost of your Saturn Cafe meal goes to Friends of Animals. That’s like five times as many reasons to go! It looks like you might have to print out this flyer and bring it with you but FOA is awesome and you should support them so Saturn two days in a row, WHAT!
UPDATE: Tomorrow at Saturn is also Getting to know Vegan Mainstream and you should absolutely go to that, too!
Saturn Cafe in Berkeley veganizes it! »
So I’m about to start your day off with some good news and you may return the favor with large wads of cash. Deal? No? OK! I just heard from Tristan, the most wonderful owner of Saturn Cafe, and she has some NEWS: Saturn’s Berkeley location has buttloads of new vegan options (ow!), including:
- Vegan French Toast
- Vegan Sampler Platters
- Vegan Quesadillas
- Vegan Cheeseburgers
- Vegan Banana Walnut Pancakes
- Vegan Huevos Rancheros
- Vegan Homemade Saturn Patties
- Fall Exclusive: Vegan Pumpkin Pancakes (!!!!!!)
What’s even more awesome is that ALL the pancakes and french toast are VEGAN! There is no non-vegan option! Can I get a what-what!? And also a bib because I’m gonna enter a French Toast-eating contest against myself where the only loser is also the only winner and the prize is obesity with a side of guilt and also smug satisfaction. Let the games begin!
Tristan tells us they’re still looking for a supplier for Gardein (chicken patties, ahoy!), vegan chocolate cookie crumbs (so they can make vegan mud pie HELLO!!), onion rings, and much more. Le sigh, I love her. Listen, there is a God. And her name is Tristan. And she has heard our prayers and our prayers have been answered. God is good.
[Photo of amazing pancakes isn’t from Saturn, it’s from iStock. But I’m sure Saturn’s pancakes are equally ridiculous-looking!]
Saturn Cafe! »
Berkeley is no longer just a blight on the urban map of the Bay Area. For so long it was just a place for terrible students and terrible rich hippies (the worst kind of hippie!) and was only to be suffered if you really had to have delicious vegan brunch at Fellini. Well, it’s still all those things! But now it has taquitos! And cinnamon rolls! And Saturn Cafe!
Saturn Cafe is an import from Santa Cruz and it’s an important one. First of all, in a city that goes to bed at 6 p.m., it stays open to the unbelievably late hour of midnight. Kudos to them for making that happen because I can’t imagine the amount of city bullshit that they’d have to deal with to make that happen. Bureaucracy win! Secondly, it’s all vegetarian and that’s fucking awesome. It’s always nice to know that your tofu scramble won’t get cross-contaminated with bacon surprise (surprise! your breakfast had a mother!). And then there’s the decor? Saturn bills itself as a “Space-Age Diner” to which I say, “Space-Age?! More like GAY-AGE!” This place makes Pink Saturday look like a klan rally. Seriously, I brushed against a glitter-covered column and I swear, I’m still finding silver sparkles in my crap. All in all, LOVE. More glitter! Glitter for ALL! Life is a rave, pass the glow-in-the-dark Mickey Mouse gloves and let’s do the damn thing!
So already, Saturn Cafe has my heart. BUT THEN, my mind kicks in! That pesky thing that keeps me from being happy. Seriously, stupid people have it the best. And my mind tells me WAIT A MINUTE WTF IS THIS??? For a vegetarian restaurant, it’s sure slim pickings for the vegans. There are several areas in which they fail. I will now detail them because that’s how I do CONTROVERSY WHAT!
- No vegan cheese options. If you order something that regularly has cheese on it, the vegan version comes with this insane tofu spread that’s basically mashed up tofu with some chives mixed in. This grainy mixture is their stand-in for both cheese and sour cream. It’s very odd…not altogether bad, just odd. And when you consider the leaps and bounds vegan cheese products have taken in even the past few years, maybe the folks at Saturn just need to get on testing vegan cheeses. Might we suggest Daiya, Teese and Cheezly? We might!
- The veg chicken patties they use aren’t vegan. Dude, there’s GARDEIN. No excuse!
- Stuff like pancakes aren’t vegan. I don’t get it; pancakes are like the easiest thing to veganize. Let’s do this! Also, while you’re at it, please veganize the biscuits and gravy! There isn’t ONE place in the entire San Francisco Bay Area that serves this and I’m telling you, that alone will make Saturn famous. With my pants. And what is underneath my pants. That’s right, my vagina. I could go further but children read this blog! Also, if you are a child PLEASE STOP READING AND CALL CPS, your parents should be held responsible!
- Two options for vegan ice cream! You’re in the land of Maggie Mudd now, broker a deal with those fools! Let’s see some PB&J! And Apple Pie! I will pay for it, in both money and hella points for gluttony! This is kind of a throw-on request because I like to shoot for the moon. It’s really nice that they offer vegan milkshakes and I don’t want to push my luck.
All in all, Saturn Cafe, I love you. But please come through for the vegans! We count on our brothers in arms (or, in arms-ish. oh and that’s you, vegetarians! hi!) to have our backs in this big bad world of restaurant dining. If you could pull through for us on the front of vegan options, we will repay you in a never ending supply of our cold, hard vegan cash. And we’re by and large very rich*—how else would we shop at Rainbow all the time!? Shit.
OH ALSO: Maybe if they receive lots of very polite email from vegans letting them know there’s a desire for more vegan options, we’ll see some action! Maybe not! But, as always, it’s worth a try! Go forth, mighty (and polite!) vegans! Go forth, and spread our mighty (and polite!) message!
Exciting news! Saturn Cafe, the world’s best vegetarian space-age diner (and uh, only space-age diner?) is coming to Berkeley so, so soon! If you’ve never been, Saturn is a fantastic vegetarian diner (vegan-friendly, obvs) located in Santa Cruz. No longer will you have to take a mini-break to get your veg diner fix! And, right around the corner is the future home of our friends Cinnaholic (OPENING THIS SATURDAY!!!). This block is an herbivore super block. I walked by today and noticed that the restaurant is almost completely finished on the inside and is looking sexy with pink and white booths. The restaurant is supposedly staying open till 12 a.m., which fills us with joy. Saturn has yet to announce their official opening day, but we’ll be on the look out and let you know. Also, if you’d like to open your own Saturn cafe, they are franchising! You need about $477,00 to $994,000. Who wants to be our restaurant sugar daddy!?
[photo by mariamargarita]
YOU GUYS. This is so awesome, it’s a peek inside the new Cinnaholic location in Berkeley, right next to where the new Saturn Cafe will be. I am seriously creaming my shorts. LAURA GROSS SHORTS ARE SO UNFLATTERING. I know.