vegansaurus!

08/22/2013

Product review: Tofurky Pockets!  »

Tofurky has new products, and they sent us some to try out. Have you seen these Pockets in the frozen food section of your grocery store? I haven’t, but my grocery store isn’t really up on the latest in vegan convenience food.

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This is the Pepperoni Pizza Pocket. I had to cook it in the oven, because we don’t have a microwave (or room for a microwave) in my apartment, but it only took like 30 minutes from freezer to plate.

This tasted like a less sodium-y Hot Pocket, which was about exactly what I wanted after coming home a little tipsy. “Food, comfort me!” I demanded, and this definitely did the trick. If you don’t like Hot Pockets, you won’t have any need for Tofurky Pockets, but if you do miss them, this is a fine vegan analog.

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This was the BBQ Chick’N pocket. I cut it in three because I had two non-vegans to share it with, for research purposes. They both loved it, and said the sauce in particular was “delicious.” I thought was pretty sweet, for barbecue sauce, and the chicken pieces were like standard fake chicken. The crust crisped and browned nicely in the oven, and it was, again, satisfying to eat after a couple drinks.

Hey look, Turk’y Broccoli Cheddar! It was very well peppered, which was a nice surprise. The vegetarian I split this one with thought it was pretty good, too, especially the pepper. There was a fair amount of broccoli involved as well; that certainly doesn’t make it healthy, but Turk’y Cheddar alone, who needs it? Really, the insides tasted kind of like a weeknight casserole from 1989, and I have no complaints about that.

Now, I wouldn’t eat these every day, at all, but Tofurky Pockets are certainly better for you than gnarly old Hot Pockets. Is substituting all the convenience food from your freezer section with vegan options the future? Some of us might say so.

11/12/2012

Win a Tofurky Roast from PETA!  »

I know you guys like winning stuff, because you’re a bunch of winners! So I thought this might interest you. It’s easy to enter, you just have to fill out a little thing on the site before the 18th. Enter here. You should win and trick your grumpy old grandpa into eating Tofurky!

OMG there are so many veggie loaf options this year I can’t decide! Woodstock Farm Animal Place, help me!

12/08/2011

Enter Tofurky’s design contest! Win cash, prizes, and donations!  »

Hello fancy artists, regular artists, and artistic types! Tofurky wants to make a new t-shirt, and they want you to design their new t-shirt. Which is good, because have you seen their current shirts? Not as hot as ours, golly. They need help!

If you win, you’ll get fabulous prizes, including $200 cash, a $100 donation in your name to the animal/environmental nonprofit of your choice, “two merchandise items (style to be determined) featuring your design,” and a total of 42 “VIP coupons” for Tofurky products. Plus fame!

To enter, visit the site, read the rules, fill out the form [pdf], and submit your design by midnight on Dec. 31.

Now get cracking! You’ve only got a little over three weeks to thrill Tofurky with your genius!

Here’s Laura’s stab at it. Double genius!

Hmm… perhaps the Tofurky should be further down? And spelled correctly? Actually, the whole thing is terrible, you can do much better. Fly, little tofurkies, fly!

11/25/2011

Happy Thanksgiving from the Shannons! They created this beautiful Peking Tofurky with vegan drumsticks and Asian vegetable wild rice, and we are so impressed. Go ogle their entire feast at Meet the Shannons!

Happy Thanksgiving from the Shannons! They created this beautiful Peking Tofurky with vegan drumsticks and Asian vegetable wild rice, and we are so impressed. Go ogle their entire feast at Meet the Shannons!

11/18/2011

The Sweetest Vegan is back with Thanksgiving recipes! Hurrah! Try the delicious-looking pumpkin pie recipe above and then make this tofurky recipe for the pre-dessert meal! I think they call it dinner. Ever heard of it?

07/19/2011

Late-night vegan pizza slices available in SF! Also, DANCING!  »


PUT FOUR SLICES OF THIS IN MY FACE!

Can I get a “hell yeah”? I love DNA Lounge in San Francisco for its killer dance nights (Death Guild and Bootie, to name only two) and burlesque-friendliness. However, the cafe inside leaves a bit to be desired when I want some drunk food. However, DNA apparently took over the old pizza joint next door to the club and pumped out a menu with pimpin’ vegan options: Daiya cheese, VEGAN SLICES (I dare you to find such a thing elsewhere), sandwiches with Tofurky products, salads, and things like French fries and fried zucchini. They’re open every day from noon to 3 a.m., so after you get your dance on, refuel here! I’m going to gain a million pounds, which is awesome.

[photo via DNA Pizza’s Facebook page]

07/05/2011

Rad Vegan Marketing Company: AllThingsVegan.com  »

We love to shop for vegan shit, that’s no lie. So when a new vegan website crossed our tracks (via them emailing us and being awesome and giving us some awesome stuff to review), we had to pass on the Good Word. In a super-awesome act of vegan solidarity, the folks at AllThingsVegan.com have made it their mission to help supply the consumer market with quality vegan goods. We like.

Their clean and simple website features the tagline “promoting vegan products to the world”, and provides some solid up-to-date research and impressive facts on the vegan/vegetarian market. They certainly prove to have their act together with an enviable game plan and big name clients like Tofurky and Edward & Sons! From marketing to branding to product placement to social media to grassroots demos, director (and total sweetheart) Lisa Shapiro has a real understanding of what will make your product successful. If you have a vegan product and want to make it to the big time without compromising your ethics, don’t be shy - now you know how!

05/26/2011

Veganized for your pleasure: brown sugar bacon buttermilk waffles  »


Why yes, that is rice whip on my waffle. I do not mess around.

I really don’t understand this longstanding bacon obsession in America. And when it got to the point where it was showing up on magazine covers, in chocolate bars, in squeezable formats, and with full-on "trend" status (If one more person tries to get me to eat bacon by saying, “but bacon doesn’t count,” I will have a conniption), I was confused and, yes, hurt. But just because we don’t want gristly bits of dead pig on top of our cupcakes doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the flavorful combination of sweet and smoky, the textural dissonance between chewy and fluffy. Peep this recipe, gag, and then make this bitchin’ and infinitely more animal-friendly version:

Fakin’ Bacon and Buttermilk Waffles
makes four Belgian waffles

Ingredients
"Bacon"

One package or recipe of tempeh “bacon” (I used Tofurky’s)
1/4 cup brown sugar

Waffles
3 Tbsp. ground flaxseed
6 Tbsp. hot water
2 cups soy milk (or whatever other vegan milk you use)
2 tsp. apple cider vinegar
2 cups flour
1 tsp. baking soda
1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. salt 
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 tsp. vanilla 

Instructions
Preheat your oven to 375 F. Spray a cookie sheet with some nonstick. Arrange the pretend bacon in a single layer on the cookie sheet. Sprinkle the brown sugar on top of the strips as evenly as you can. I won’t judge you for licking your fingers. Bake in the oven for about 15 minutes, until the sugar has become pretty liquidy. Let it cool, and then chop the sticky strips into little pieces—or break it apart with your hands if you’re nasty (related: I’m nasty).

In a bowl, whisk together the flax seed and hot water till it’s as frothy as your little hands can make it. In another bowl, stir together the milk and vinegar. Watch as it gets all curdled and weird-looking. Okay, focus! Now in a big bowl, sift together your dry ingredients (flour down to salt in the list above). Marvel once more at the crazy milk transformation, and whisk in the flax seed mixture, oil, and vanilla. Pour it all into the dry ingredients, and mix till it’s mostly combined. Then stir in the pretend bacon bits.

Follow your waffle iron’s directions to make as many waffles as possible. Cover it in Earth Balance, maple syrup, jam—whatever you put on waffles. Serve with orange juice, and pretend you’re being healthy. Eat, and slap yo’ mama.
This ain’t no ordinary waffle. As you can see, there’s chewy, savory tempeh bacon in there!

01/28/2011

Wordspy’s lessons in vegan vocabulary!  »

Hey young world, my pal Kev showed me this site Wordspy, “a Word Lover’s Guide to New Words,” because he knows I love the words. I’m into it! I thought I might see if they have any vegan-related terms, and do they ever! For your enjoyment, I bring you the latest and greatest in veggie vocab!

Ape diet: A vegetarian diet that emphasizes soy protein, soluble fiber, nuts, and leafy green vegetables.
Ethical eater
: A person who only or mostly eats food that meets certain ethical guidelines, particularly organically grown food and humanely raised meat, poultry, and fish.
flexitarian
: A person who eats a mostly vegetarian diet, but who is also willing to eat meat or fish occasionally.
freegan
: A person, usually a vegan, who consumes only food that is obtained by foraging, most often in the garbages of restaurants, grocery stores, and other retailers.
opportunivore
: A person who eats whatever he or she can find, particularly food that has been discarded.
pescetarian
: A person who supplements a vegetarian diet with fish. —adj. Also: piscetarian.
retro defiance
: Hostility towards current ideas about healthy living, which includes a return to allegedly non-healthy activities such as smoking cigars, drinking martinis, and eating steak.
Slow Food
: An agricultural and gastronomic movement that emphasizes traditional, organic growing methods and the appreciation of fine food and wine.
Tofurkey
: Tofu molded into the shape of a turkey. Also: Tofurky. [It’s a brand, and it hasn’t got an “e” in it. Bad call, wordspy.]
VB6
: A person who eats a vegan diet before 6 p.m., and then whatever they want after that. (From the phrase “vegan before 6.”)
vegangelical: An extremely zealous vegan who is eager to make other people believe in and convert to veganism. (Blend of vegan and evangelical.)
vegivore: A person who craves or has a special fondness for vegetables. Also: vegevore.
victimless meat: Meat grown from a tissue culture.

OK, who’s got more?! This is fun! At least for me! And word nerds like myself! Here! I just made up another! Off the top of the dome:
Borivore
: Someone who won’t stop talking about how much they just love cheese and bacon: BORING!

12/31/2010

This is reader BW’s plate from Christmas day! BW says that “Some [dishes were] made by me, some made by family with my input on veganization. Going clockwise, starting at the bottom, is a seitan roulade I made filled with shiitake mushroom and vegan sausage stuffing. Then a huge helping of said stuffing and mashed potatoes covered in Tofurky-brand gravy because it’s easy and yummy. Then collards with tomatoes. Then a ridiculous garlicky beet salad, then a vegan version of this thing called “The Bread” which is basically a decent loaf of bread SMOTHERED in butter or in my case Earth Balance and broiled till it turns into something magical and delicious. In the center is corn!”
Isn’t it lovely when omnivorous families make vegan food for you, freaky hippie meat-forbearing children?
Also, if anyone wanted to make me The Bread sometime, I would NOT turn it down. DANG.

This is reader BW’s plate from Christmas day! BW says that “Some [dishes were] made by me, some made by family with my input on veganization. Going clockwise, starting at the bottom, is a seitan roulade I made filled with shiitake mushroom and vegan sausage stuffing. Then a huge helping of said stuffing and mashed potatoes covered in Tofurky-brand gravy because it’s easy and yummy. Then collards with tomatoes. Then a ridiculous garlicky beet salad, then a vegan version of this thing called “The Bread” which is basically a decent loaf of bread SMOTHERED in butter or in my case Earth Balance and broiled till it turns into something magical and delicious. In the center is corn!”

Isn’t it lovely when omnivorous families make vegan food for you, freaky hippie meat-forbearing children?

Also, if anyone wanted to make me The Bread sometime, I would NOT turn it down. DANG.

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