vegansaurus!

Vegansaurus new food challenge: Vegg vegan egg!  »

I took Meave’s challenge because you DO NOT FUCK WITH MEAVE. I know everyone else is making delicious veggies and shit but you know what I like to say: FUCK A VEGETABLE/IT’S COOKIE TIME/I’M SLEEPY. So, I made stuff with Vegg, the new vegan egg yolk product stuff! Sarah made a realistic fried egg that looked to be the bomb and I had to get in on the action. Here’s what I made.

1. Scrambled Veggs (using the recipe from their website)—really good! I think it tastes like eggs but what do I know? It has that same consistency, and, for lack of a better way to put it/my limited vocabulary, it’s kinda slimy in the way that eggs are? Like, in a good way. Does that make sense? WHO CARES WHAT DO YOU KNOW.

2. Pad Thai (using Chloe Coscarelli’s DELICIOUS recipe, adding in scrambled veggs, subbing the new chili lime cashews from Trader Joe’s—LOVE THESE—for the peanuts and adding Soy Curls!) IT WAS SO DAMN GOOD. Seriously, stop doing everything and make this right now!

3. WAFFLES! These were eggy and funky fresh! We made regular sized ones and then monster ones and we topped them with maple syrup and ginger syrup and organic Earth Balance (We’re weaning off EB until we know more about the palm oil, but we have tubs left…next time I’ll make this coconut butter!) and we FEASTED!

4. Hollandaise sauce (using the recipe from their website)—HOLY SHIT. My mom used to make this every holiday for breakfast and it was always my favorite seasonal treat. This tasted freakishly like the one my mom used to make! I’m gonna invite her over to confirm my findings but I think we can safely say that IT’S ON HOLLANDAISE. 

Sorry for the shitty photos but I’m an amateur, all right! Anyway, A++++ will do business with again, love Vegg, love what it does, it tastes like egg yolk, it has the consistency of egg yolk, and it’s versatile! I’m gonna make a custard next, and then who knows?! The sky is the limit! Or, my pants size is the limit! LET’S GO. 

Vegan shrimp rules; real shrimp is terrible for the environment  »

I know, you’re like, “Yeah, yeah—tell me something I don’t know,” right, smartypants? I’ll just reiterate a few points of interest, from a recent post of The Atlantic, then showcase pictures of vegan shrimp (the real reason we’re both here). Vegan shrimp is delicious! And since it’s somewhat hard to get a hold of, doesn’t that mean it’s a delicacy? Of course it does.

• Biologist J. Boone Kaufman of Oregon State University has calculated that “tiny little shrimp may be the most costly animal you can eat, when measured in terms of its negative impact on the environment.”
• “One pound of frozen shrimp adds one ton of carbon dioxide — more than 10 times that produced by the equivalent amount of beef raised on cleared rainforest land.” Yikes!
• “Most of the world’s farmed shrimp is produced on coastal farms, in Southeast Asia, that were created by destroying mangrove forests”. The very same forests that would help eliminate much of the carbon dioxide in the air! Plus, the farms are usually abandoned after about 10 years, due to the awful effects upon the soil. The land is pretty much unusable for about 40 years. Awesome.

Again, you can read more here. Now, for you and the seafood lover in your life:

Veggie shrimp, available at Rainbow!

Everything on this table is vegan, including the shrimp cocktail in back! Faux shrimp + Trader Joe’s cocktail sauce = astonished party guests.

Veggie Praram with veggie shrimp at Thai Idea! You can add the ‘shrimp’ to any entree. Go ahead, treat yourself (it’s like an extra $1.50). Taken with Instagram, because I just got my first iPhone. I’m (jennybradleyyo) Instagramming my way through life!

Trade in tofu for seitan? NEVER!  »

Chocolate Mousse made from tofu. Try making THAT with seitan!

Oh jeez, I am just not sure which way to go with this article, “The Maximum-Gluten Diet.” So I’m gonna try to hit them all, and you’re going to go along with it because I’m doing the work of three people at my day job and I’m in the middle of a move and I’m studying and I sleep four hours a night, “LOL!”

First, the article talks about how much healthier, yummier, and more versatile wheat gluten is than tofu. It’s quick to dismiss the soybean cake, saying it’s only popular because it was “there” when the world needed it and is the reason behind gluten’s slow rise to national consciousness, or whatever.

All right, man, you need to BACK OFF the already much-maligned tofu. I would eat (properly cooked) tofu for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and never even think twice about the gluten (aka seitan) I was missing. I know I’m not alone — all the tofu ladies, all the tofu ladies, put your hands up! Dudes, too, of course.

Before everyone tells me to chill out, I get it. The author is just trying to spread the seitanic word in a lighthearted way. He gives celiacs a nod. And seitan IS good, don’t get me wrong. But it’s just as easy to have a bad plate o’ seitan as it is to have a mushy tofu blob. Have you ever had spongey gluten? Worse than silken tofu scramble, in my opinion.

But the real sticking point of this article with me is the recipe. He’s like, “Let’s spend 10,000 hours listening to podcasts and washing flour!” And I’m like, “Who even listens to podcasts? Doesn’t homeboy have Spotify?” But then I’m also like, “You don’t need to wash flour.” This is because 1) I have a lazy streak and 2) you can buy wheat gluten (sometimes called vital wheat gluten) AT THE WHOLE FOODS.

If you want to make seitan yourself and you don’t have a copy of Veganomicon, you need to get one, right now, and make its recipe for Simple Seitan. Have you guys figured out that I’m a total Isa fangirl?

Finally, here is a short list of why tofu is superior to seitan (or at least just as good, I don’t like to play favorites):

1. It’s not a problem for celiacs or the scads of folks with a gluten sensitivity. Yes, I know some people are allergic to soy.
2. You can buy it at the Trader Joe’s.
3. It takes less time to make, maybe an hour compared to the 12 you’d spend kneading dough underwater or the hour and a half if you just buy vital wheat gluten at the store.
4. It soaks up flavors, blending into the background or playing a solo, depending on what you do with it.
5. You can use it in desserts — The first vegan cheesecake you ever made (or will make! It’s easier than it seems!) probably featured tofu in a starring role. Can you imagine sweet seitan? NAST!
6. YOU CAN BUY IT AT THE TRADER JOE’S.

New vegan stuff at Trader Joe’s, in pictures! Because I’m too lazy to write anything!  »

Sampled the Japanese fried rice and the meatless mandarin orange morsels (pretty sure this is Gardein!) together today and it made me wanna holler, throw up both my hands. The display for the samples even said, “VEGAN!” and I was pushing people outta the way being all, “Ooh girl, it’s my time to shine!” I ate like nine samples while I asked the chef all sorts of questions about her family and what not. She had no clue what I was doing, totally thought I wanted to be her friend. SUCKER.

Spotted at Trader Joe’s: Cookie Butter, vegan dog treats, and organic coconut oil!  »

Just thought you’d all like to know, because cookie spread is ridiculous, and often really hard to find in the United States. Biscoff was spotted at Cost Plus, but there can always be more cookie spread. Always more. Always. Anyone have any cookie spread cake or cookie recipes? Because I’m finna experiment.

Annnnd organic coconut oil is so great for holiday baking and for high-heat cooking and also, spread that shit on some toast and call it a day. OMG, make grilled cheeses with it. Melt it on popcorn! Use it to grease locks and break into your neighbor’s house to steal the cute dog she never walks/smash in her insanely loud sound system! The sky’s the limit!

And finally, check out these cute-ass vegan holiday dog gingerbread men! Trader Joe’s really works it on the packaging and I appreciate the effort. So does Hazel and Toby! Actually, they don’t give a shit about the packaging but they do like the cookies!

Candy Cane Joe-Joe’s have hit the stores!  »

Candy Cane Joe-Joe’s ARE BACK!!! We spotted them at an SF Trader Joe’s! Hurry and get some before I eat them all. Because I’ll do it. I WILL JUST DARE ME. 

Now. LET US DO THIS. Also, this. And maybe this too. Enjoy it all with some Silk Nog, why don’t you!

The Trader Joe’s in BERKELEY isn’t stocking vegan items!? Let’s talk at them!  »

So, word on the street is employees of the Trader Joe’s at University and Martin Luther King Jr. in Berkeley have told several people that they don’t stock vegan items because they don’t “earn” their shelf space in the store, which is why a lot of our favorites are sadly not there. Come on, how is that freaking possible? I object! 

I think all people who shop at that store or might ever shop at that store (East Bay vegans WHAT!) should write to TJ HQ or drop by the store in person to fill out a suggestion card to request they begin re-stocking a greater variety of vegan items. Right?!

You don’t even have to send an email, they have an easy-peasy form where you can just be like, “More vegan items in Berkeley, please and thank you. Pretty pease let me know when I can expect to see these items back in the store. I Also, you are so pretty, Trader Joe’s! Signed, Laura P.S. Love that Fearless Flyer!” This example works for several reasons: You’re politely making yourself heard, asking for what you want, requesting a response, and perhaps most importantly, letting TJ’s know that, hey, you are attracted to them, and that makes a person/corperation feel good! Plus, you complimented their work on the Fearless Flyer,* which I can honestly say is my favorite magazine. DONE AND DONE!

Now, email! Or stop by! Make it hap’n, cap’n!

Finally, let’s enjoy the TJ’s video that everyone loved so much in 2009:

*Groupon totally gaffled their lame-ass voice from TJ’s Fearless Flyer. FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!