vegansaurus!

04/21/2011

What do you think of this interactive iPad ad against fur? I saw it on the Pinnacle blog and I say it’s kind of neat. On one hand, I’m like, it’s kind of annoying; but then again, it looks like it goes fast enough so that it wouldn’t be that disruptive. And I like how it looks like any fur ad in a magazine and then BLAMMO! it’s not! It’s BLOODY! I think it would be effective in keeping “fur = blood” on the brain. Fur Equals Blood on the Brain should be the name of our band! Cut! Print! Dishes are done!

03/02/2011

I know you kids hate Peta’s naked-chick ads, but what about their naked dude ads?! Rapper Waka Flocka has an anti-fur Peta ad! Ok, ok, if you watch the video, you can see his tubby belly—which is ALL GOOD! BUT! You would not see a chick with that kind of belly in a Peta ad, would you? I still love the “Ink not Mink” campaign though; I mean, it RHYMES.

02/16/2011

This is the proposed ad Peta wants to place at the Edgar Allan Poe house in Baltimore. In exchange, Peta will help fund the museum as the Baltimore gov wants them to be self-sufficient or shut down. Um, HILARIOUS! This ad makes little to no sense!
I can’t be that offended though because there are like a million Poe houses; homeboy was a rolling stone! I know there’s one in Philly, one in Richmond, VA and one in the Bronx—do we need four Poe museums? Let me tell you what a Poe museum looks like: there’s a desk with some old-timey paper out, where he may or may not have written such-and-such story, and then there’s a big stuffed raven. That’s about it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s sad for historical landmarks to close, but it appears he only lived in this house for three years. Big whoop. Slap a plaque on there and call it a day. 
But really, Poe house aside, is this ad going to do ANYTHING? My only response is WTF? You people are crazy. It’s a bit hilarious though; the guy is having a heart attack next to a terrible play on words. Poor wordplay makes me a bit queasy, too, but it doesn’t make me not want to eat meat (meat makes me not want to eat meat). I know it’s a publicity stunt, but really it’s so bizarre. It has nothing to do with anything! It’s not like Poe died from eating too much meat; no one knows how he died, actually, but a heart attack is not one of the proposed theories.
I know I’m in the minority, but I generally think Peta’s antics are pretty funny. This time though, even I’M perplexed by this one. Who thought of this? Did they have this ad on the back-burner, just waiting for the opportunity to bust it out? Other than the punny humor, veganism has no tangible connection to Poe. I can imagine the weirdos that go to the Poe house thinking, “those vegetarians are such weirdos.” When the Poe enthusiasts think you’re crazy, that’s a better diagnosis than any DSM classification.

This is the proposed ad Peta wants to place at the Edgar Allan Poe house in Baltimore. In exchange, Peta will help fund the museum as the Baltimore gov wants them to be self-sufficient or shut down. Um, HILARIOUS! This ad makes little to no sense!

I can’t be that offended though because there are like a million Poe houses; homeboy was a rolling stone! I know there’s one in Philly, one in Richmond, VA and one in the Bronx—do we need four Poe museums? Let me tell you what a Poe museum looks like: there’s a desk with some old-timey paper out, where he may or may not have written such-and-such story, and then there’s a big stuffed raven. That’s about it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s sad for historical landmarks to close, but it appears he only lived in this house for three years. Big whoop. Slap a plaque on there and call it a day. 

But really, Poe house aside, is this ad going to do ANYTHING? My only response is WTF? You people are crazy. It’s a bit hilarious though; the guy is having a heart attack next to a terrible play on words. Poor wordplay makes me a bit queasy, too, but it doesn’t make me not want to eat meat (meat makes me not want to eat meat). I know it’s a publicity stunt, but really it’s so bizarre. It has nothing to do with anything! It’s not like Poe died from eating too much meat; no one knows how he died, actually, but a heart attack is not one of the proposed theories.

I know I’m in the minority, but I generally think Peta’s antics are pretty funny. This time though, even I’M perplexed by this one. Who thought of this? Did they have this ad on the back-burner, just waiting for the opportunity to bust it out? Other than the punny humor, veganism has no tangible connection to Poe. I can imagine the weirdos that go to the Poe house thinking, “those vegetarians are such weirdos.” When the Poe enthusiasts think you’re crazy, that’s a better diagnosis than any DSM classification.

02/08/2011

Ad Beat: New Zealand commercial “parodies” crush videos  »

So here’s the offensive New Zealand’s Next Top Model commercial that’s got the country abuzz—you can watch it, no real animals are crushed:


[can’t see the video? Watch it on vegansaurus.com!]

I know some people got upset when I criticized an ad recently so to them I say, beware!: things are ‘bout to get critical! I think the first thing you notice is what a CRAPPY commercial it is. To think someone paid for this! I’m not sure where they squandered the budget for a decent director but it certainly didn’t go toward editing.

On to the real issue, people are PISSED about the commercial’s reference to “crush videos.” As you dedicated readers know, Congress recently passed a bill to ban crush videos in the U.S. Thank god. I had never heard of crush videos and I wish I still hadn’t. It’s a truly despicable phenomenon. Animal cruelty is bad enough, but when someone truly derives pleasure from it? It’s almost too much for the heart to handle. It makes me question humanity and wish everyone would, I don’t know, DROP DEAD.

Wait, genius idea: take something super offensive, deplorable and illegal* and make light of it! This is a recipe for success! Let’s brainstorm. I’m imagining a photoshoot with Kewpie dolls in crotchless panties—it could be for the next Rock of Love! So edgy. Or maybe McDonald’s could do a “my factory-farm friends” toy seriesthose Happy Meals would fly off the shelf! There’s no shortage of awful things that happen in the world so really, the possibilities are endless!

Go to Change.org if you’d like to read more and sign a petition to get the commercial cut.

*Not everywhere, but you know what I mean.

02/01/2011

HOT GIRL-ON-VEGETABLE ACTION! Great move, Peta!  »

We are getting some bad press these day. First it’s “bacon turns vegetarians into uncontrollable meat-eating machines!” and now it’s "literally fucking produce." Will no one think of the children? Or the people with self-respect?

There is NOTHING RIGHT with Peta’s “2011 Super Bowl ad,” which is described as “outtakes from last year’s ad’s casting video.” Every goddamn thing about it is offensive, from the disembodied male voice directing the ladies in bikinis to the roughly 1 billion “this looks like a penis!” jokes to the one shirtless dude who has clearly not spent his entire adult-bodied life working out like a fucking fiend acting all hapless, like we needed the extra pandering.

What a joke. What a disgrace. Peta, WHAT THE FUCK. This does not make anyone want to “go veg,” it makes them either want to puke, masturbate, or masturbate and then puke from the shame of having gotten off to some softcore porn masquerading as an anti-animal-cruelty video. Your “skins” campaigns, full of photos of naked attention-hungry omnivores who show up everywhere else in leather and silk? Whatever the hell the women in lettuce bikinis are supposed to represent? The Worst. Why are you such hypocrites? As Deceiver puts it, “How is exhorting young women to get it on with gourds in any way ethical treatment? Are pretty young things not animals as well? Or are there exceptions in the vegan manifesto about how living creatures aren’t to be exploited for our entertainment?”

Honestly! Your non-sexually explicit arms do good work (well, mostly), Peta, but you’re always going to be “those nuts who throw paint on people and take a lot of naked-chick photos” if you don’t cut this out. We vegans and animal-rights activists are SO TIRED of our association with you, it’s SO EMBARRASSING—worse than a dozen birther relatives addicted to Facebook, because at least you can hide those people and deny their “add relative” requests; we can’t hide from your well earned, terrible reputation.

Again, what are “hott chix in bikinis literally fellating zucchini” doing for the animal-rights movement? “I love vegetables so much I actually fuck them” is not the same as “I abstain from all animal products”—why do bunny-eating omnivores understand that better than you, ostensibly strict vegans?

Fire your public relations team. Fire everyone involved in any of your clothes-free ad campaigns. Hire some people with talent* and the good sense not to do anything like this ever again, who won’t make you look like such gross hypocrites. Unless you really all are gross, Dov Charney/Terry Richardson-style exploitative creeps, in which case, just shut the fuck up and leave the talking to the rest of us adults.

*Hints: our Megan Rascal is an advertising genius! (And I am editorially talented and very strict!)

[link to video at HuffPo via Deceiver, which is sometimes super-irksome about veganism but does make an excellent “stop being hypocritical” point. Photo by Yum! via Fruit Porn]

12/07/2010

Give yourself the gift of a DOWNER  »

I know not everyone watches as much TV as I do so I’m not sure if you’ve all seen the latest KFC commercial.* It’s a peach. Just kidding, it’s crazy! They tell you to “give yourself the gift of time,” this holiday by getting their $19.99 “Festive Feast” for your special dinner. They want you to make a TRADITION out of it. Dudes, that’s fucking TRAGIC. I can only imagine that you would only buy this meal for Christmas or your holiday of choice if you really had to because you can’t cook and can’t afford anything else. That is such a downer, KFC. Like I said, TRAGIC. It’s especially a tragedy considering the cost of KFC to your health and the planet is way more than $19.99.

This is my favorite scene in the commercial:


They have this winter wonderland thing going on with snow and all and then this giant snowball drops down! But wait! That’s not a snowball! Gross.

The truth is that you don’t have to eat KFC’s “feast.” If you have no money and aren’t the best cook, you can still make a great family meal. Actually, in my family, on Christmas eve our traditional meal is spaghetti! Spaghetti is cheap! Math time! Let’s look at the figures:

Walgreens sells Barilla spaghetti (16 oz.) for $1.59 and Ragu pasta sauce at two jars for $3; that’s $4.59 with extra sauce to boot! They also have garlic salt for $.99 and olive oil for $3.49, and my corner store sells french bread for $.99; for $5.47 you’ve got garlic bread (with plenty of olive oil left over). For vegan meatballs, I’m afraid you won’t have any luck at Walgreens—though in SF and NYC, you might find some at your corner store (we live like liquor store kings!). VeganEssentials.com has Nate’s meatless meatballs for $5.29 so I’d imagine they’d be priced similarly at the grocery store. All together, that’s $15.35 and you’ve got sauce, olive oil, garlic salt, and probably meatballs left over. BOOM! Yummier and cheaper than the KFC meal!

So this year, give yourself the gift of spaghetti! Yay!

*That link is probably temporary. But see it now!

09/15/2010

PCRM’s ad campaign: Science says Big Macs are nasty!  »

[can’t see the video? watch it at vegansaurus.com!]

The Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine* (PCRM) released the above commercial totally and morbidly dissing McDonald’s after a recent study they conducted shows just how unhealthy McDonald’s food is. And McDonald’s is pissed!:

This commercial is outrageous, misleading and unfair to all consumers. McDonald’s trusts our customers to put such outlandish propaganda in perspective, and to make food and lifestyle choices that are right for them.

Outrageous and outlandish? Them’s fightin’ words! But PCRM’s findings are pretty scary. The Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese has 42 grams of fat, 740 calories, 155 milligrams of cholesterol, and 1,380 milligrams of sodium. HOLY CRAP! Check out that sodium number! Good lord. Even the sweetly permissive USDA only recommends up to 2,300 milligrams of sodium per day, and that’s counting foods with naturally occurring sodium (although mostly those are dairy products, ew).

Other people are backing McDonald’s in this time of need, including the Wall Street Journal community. So far, 54 percent of them say the ad is unfair! Wah! BTW, I say we go over and vote. Give them some perspective! Our Meave had a few words to say in response to this:

Of course the WSJ crowd is voting it “unfair”; readers of the WSJ are [stereotypically] super-capitalist, super-individualist Randies who’d be libertarians if they weren’t so into government breaks for big corporations. “We are responsible for our own decisions,” says a commenter, as though anyone can make a good decision without pertinent information. UGH.

Besides, this Question of the Day isn’t asking, “Is McDonald’s responsible for all heart disease, ever?” or “Should the government expand healthcare to cover people who ONLY EAT MCDONALD’S BECAUSE THEY ARE STUPID POOR FATTY FAT FATS WHO SHOULD KNOW BETTER?” It’s an AD CAMPAIGN. And one might think that WSJ readers, being on the whole very staunchly pro-business, would support the right of an organization to run whatever ad campaign it so chose. I suppose that when that ad campaign comes into conflict with the interests of a major international corporation, WSJ readers would rather see the big, profitable corporation continue to dominate.

Everyone’s favorite, Eater, had a bit to say in McDonald’s defense, calling the ad “a crazy new commercial” by PCRM, adding that

PCRM is known for their somewhat insane vegan agenda—back in May, they wrote a press release advising KFC to follow the same guidelines the FDA sets out for tobacco producers and not advertise near schools and put a warning label on Double Downs. In this this ad, they recommend “Tonight, make it vegetarian.”

Somewhat insane vegan agenda? Duck and cover! But then the example they give sounds very sane to me, considering another study showing how fast-food chains target children and then feed them horrible crap.

Now, if you are a vegan anything like me, you love your vegan cupcakes and vegan fried food. It’s like we always say, vegan doesn’t equal healthy. But we’re not talking about cupcakes; we’re talking about POISON. Remember Super Size Me? This stuff will kill you! And the main difference is that they don’t want to tell you. Vegansaur Jordan was just saying the other day that she will tell you in plain language that her vegan cupcakes are far from vitamin bars. And if PCRM wants you to know about the nutrition information of McDonald’s food and its ramifications on your health, what is so “unfair” about that?

*Disclosure: Our Laura has worked on contract for PCRM in the past.

02/24/2010

Twilight studpuppy and new Calvin Klein underwear model Kellen Lutz teamed up with PETA for a new campaign to get you to save/adopt dogs from the many homeless pet shelters across the country. And being that it is PETA, he talks about seal clubbing and fur wearing as well. And check out these cute pics of Kellen and Kola at Celebuzz!

(via danielextra, our friend and current favorite tumblr! Follow his hot ass!)

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