Recipe: Lettuce wraps for your mouth  »

Any of y’all ever go to P.F. Chang’s? It was my favorite restaurant when I was but a wee teenager in Indianapolis, and one of the yummiest menu items was the vegetarian lettuce wraps. I found myself craving these this weekend, but the nearest Chang’s is on the other side of the bay, so I decided to try to make some instead. Even though I used the “wrong” kind of lettuce because that’s what I had so GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK, they were still really yummy:             Goes well with Blue Moon, 2-Buck Chuck, Absolut straight from the bottle, +c.

Accidentally Low-Carb Lettuce Wraps Ingredients

1 head of lettuce (iceberg probably works better than the red-leaf I used)
3 Tbsp. peanut oil
1 pound of tofu, pressed and diced into 1/2-inch cubes
1 cup celery, minced
5 smallish carrots, minced
1 8-oz. can of water chestnuts, minced
2 bulbs shallots, minced (PROTIP: save time by mincing all this shit together, in a food processor if you’ve got one)
1 Tbsp. minced ginger (did you know you can buy that madness in jars now?)
1 tsp. coriander
1 tsp. thyme
1/2 tsp pepper
1 Tbsp. rice vinegar
2 Tbsp. soy sauce
1/2 cup cilantro
Hot chili paste or sriracha, to taste


1. Heat your skillet on medium-high, and pour 2 Tbsp. of the oil in there. Once it’s hot, throw your tofu in there. Stir frequently until it’s pretty brown; this will take maybe 10 minutes. Add your ginger, coriander, thyme, and pepper. Stir for about a minute, and then add your minced mix. Take a moment to appreciate the shallot: It’s like if garlic and onion had the most beautiful, delicious baby ever in existence, not that babies are generally delicious, I mean, I wouldn’t know about the taste of babies, OKAY GOD ANYWAY.
2. Stir and cook for a while (10 minutes-ish?) until your veggies are soft. Add the vinegar, soy sauce, and as much chili paste or sriracha as you can handle. Cook for a while longer until some of the liquid evaporates. Once it’s acceptable to you, remove from heat. You might want to let it cool for a while so its sheer heat doesn’t rip holes in your lettuce.
3. Take a leaf of lettuce, put some of this mixture on it, roll it up to the best of your ability, and nom. Make sure you have a fork nearby.

Warning: These are low-carb, so if that’s bad for you, add some rice or toast or something. I would marry carbs if they were a person, so I had some popcorn later in the evening. #popcorn4lyfe


Vegansaurus NYC: Rice!  »

Rice! Generic name, yummy food! I’m obsessed! It’s not all vegan but there are many vegan options. There are three locations, one in Manhattan and two in Brooklyn. One of the Brooklyn locations happens to be in DUMBO, four blocks from my school. I moved here a little over a month ago and I’ve been to Rice like 80 times already. That’s how I roll! I find something I like and I stick with it! Until I overdo it and get completely tired of it. It’s a system.

For the most part, it’s all rice bowls (there’s a few salads but salads are for nancies!). They have different options like lentil stew or ratatouille and then you get to pick what kind of rice you want! Hence the name. They have like 8 kinds of rice. I always get the brown rice but one day I will get the crazy purple rice, mark my words! It’s a dollar or so more but it’s purple! The color of royalty! It’s the king’s rice! I think it’s actually called black rice but I promise it’s purple.

UPDATE: The tofu satay is NOT vegan! It’s got fish in it! GROSS! I’ve tried a number of things there but I’ve finally settled on the tofu satay. It’s super! That’s a picture of it above—I took it myself! BEFORE I started eating! Because I’m a pro. I’ve also tried the lentil stew but it was a little bland. The Thai coconut curry is good but I’m obsessed with peanuts and that’s what the satay sauce tastes like. Now the other thing you HAVE to get is an order of the edamame* hummus. OMG IT’S AMAZING. Like, I could eat bowls of it. I wasn’t sure if it was vegan but they assured me it was, bread and all. It’s not that hummus-y; I can’t quite put my finger on what it tastes like but it’s super-delicious.

So if you get a chance, I say definitely try rice. And if you go to the DUMBO one, I’ll probably be there so you should say, “Hey Megan Rascal!” and maybe, “You look lovely today!” because that’s a nice thing to say and completely true.

*Once again spellcheck, I say screw you! Edamame is a word.

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