Review: Benkyodo Company!  »

When I die, I want to be mummified in a gigantic* mochi from Benkyodo. Wrap me in that sweet rice dough and throw me into the ground. SO I CAN EAT MY WAY OUT. ¬†What—you thought I was just gonna die? ¬†Bitches, please. I’m gonna fucking come back as the hottest, most awesome zombie you ever saw. First, I’m gonna eat my mochi bodysuit, and then I’m gonna move on to the entire city of San Francisco and I’m not going to stop until I eat the brains of every last one of you faux-liberal fascist asshole pieces of shit. I might be vegan but I am done with you chumps and anyway, I heard human brains taste like strawberry shortcake and I fucking LOVE strawberry shortcake. It is delicious.

*I think I am a size 18W in mochi.

[mochi photo via yelp]

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