Lady Gaga, your meat clothes make me sick! »
God, if that horrible Lady Gaga monstrosity wasn’t enough, now designers are sending meat dresses down the runway at Fashion Week. Jeremy Scott (who is this person? I just looked up his designs and they are HORRIBLE. I’m not going to link, though, because I don’t want to give him more publicity than I already am by writing this) got a standing ovation after he showed a skirt/bikini/godawful mess that looked like prosciutto. I don’t know what worse, the fact that is is so ugly or the fact that the New York Daily News says, “Unlike Gaga’s dress it only appeared edible,” implying that Lady GagME’s dress was made of REAL MEAT.
OH MY GOD! Her dress was real meat. How are you gonna do us like that, Lady Gaga? How are you going to talk about the rights of others and how we all deserve them as you are standing there wearing a dress made of animals who not only have no rights but lost their lives to cover your genitals as you stand there talking about love and equality? Where is your SELF-AWARENESS? and where was it when your designer was stitching 25 pounds of dead flesh to make you a garment? That sounds like a scene from some horrible fairytale.
And then she’s all about not meaning any disrespect to vegans or vegetarians—IN WHAT WAY? How do you “mean no disrespect” when you are wearing a piece of dead cow on your head? Oh, wait…I get it! You said you’re “the most judgment-free” human being, so it must be true. First: impossible. Second: so you’ve mastered the art of making grand statements about yourself with only a modicum of basis in fact; OK. Third: we don’t care if you’re judging us. THAT IS NOT THE POINT. The point is that you are making a statement that makes absolutely no sense and didn’t even register until YOU EXPLAINED IT and EVEN THEN, WHAT? Plus, meat fashion isn’t even original. The Kermit dress was better, as far as statements about cruelty go.
You’re making this really hard on me, Stefani Joanne! How am I supposed to continue defending “Bad Romance” and “Paparazzi” to haters when my own reaction to this meat-dress debacle is to scream “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?” through a motherfucking bullhorn?
I can almost understand people who eat meat but don’t wear fur (LOOKING AT YOU, Bethenny “Any excuse to get naked” Frankel), but the amount of cognitive dissonance that must be taking place when one says "I hate fur. And I don’t wear fur", poses on the cover of a magazine in a MEAT BIKINI, and then wears a full-on MEAT DRESS to an awards show is scary. I do not understand how wearing an entire ensemble made out of raw beef is different than wearing fur. How does that even make sense? What, you’re using the entire animal? What, you’re using it to make a statement? Sorry, I can’t hear you over your rampant, Kelly Killoren Bensimon-levels of hypocrisy.
Announcing Vegansaurus’ super-secret, super-awesome Top Chef: Just Desserts project! »
You guys, it’s going to be great! I wish we could tell you more about it—we are so close to having all our seeds in a row, so to speak—but for now, I can say that Your Vegansaurus has fun surprises in store for you in the coming weeks! Fun surprises directly related to the new Bravo show Top Chef: Just Desserts!
We are unaffiliated with the Bravo network, although our Maria owns and operates Bravo Gossip, which we love!, and as far as we know the only connection Just Desserts has to veganism is contestant Zac Young’s mother and the “tofu and carob pudding” she inflicted on him as a child (if it doesn’t contain dairy you’re not allowed to call it mousse?), but we are Vegansaurus—our coverage will be relevant to your vegan lifestyle, we promise.
Top Chef: Just Desserts airs on Bravo tonight at 11 (Eastern/Pacific), and every Wednesday hereafter at 10. Your enjoyment of this new feature probably won’t depend on watching the show, but it might enhance it—who can say? And of course, if anyone starts paying us to tell you to watch television, we’ll let you know. So, you know, WATCH WHAT HAPPENS tonight on Bravo! Or not! It is your choice! Not subscribing to a cable service is a perfectly legitimate choice, one for which Your Vegansaurus doesn’t judge you. Maybe you want to visit a friend who does, though. Because this is going to be GREAT!
See you soon with more big news, friends!