vegansaurus!

06/17/2013

Upton’s Bacon Seitan is tops!  »

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Review time! Have you heard the news? Upton’s made a seitan bacon! My general rule on vegan bacon is pass the vegan breakfast sausage but I hear so many good things about Upton’s in general, I thought I’d give it a shot!

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I was not disappointed! Of course it’s not exactly like bacon (um, thank god), but it has a good bacon-y flavor for sure. The texture isn’t chewy and crispy like bacon though, but still good. I think it would be better for eating in a BLT or something rather than straight but it was enjoyable off the stove all by itself. Damn, I kind of really want a bacon-avocado sandwich right now! I don’t have any avocados! Will my sandwish ever come true? Stay tuned. 

02/06/2013

Look what that Jerry James Stone has done this time! Crème brûlée for breakfast? The audacity! I, for one, am completely shocked. If you need me, I’ll be in the kitchen.

Look what that Jerry James Stone has done this time! Crème brûlée for breakfast? The audacity! I, for one, am completely shocked. If you need me, I’ll be in the kitchen.

05/01/2012

Vegan French toast! I made these using Mom’s Kitchen vegan French toast mix. It’s the first time I tried this mix and I was pretty excited because I really loved French toast back in the omni days. So, my verdict: it looks like French toast and tastes like French toast! The only thing I will say is that it’s a bit dry but I think syrup would take care of that. But I forgot to buy syrup because I’m a genius. It was good with powdered sugar too, but syrup would have been better. 
You know what would be cool? If I mixed this stuff with the Vegg! Right? That would be super cool. Imma try it! But I’m going to get syrup first because maple syrup is kind of the best thing ever. REAL maple syrup of course, not that Log Cabin plastic crap. That’s my word.

Vegan French toast! I made these using Mom’s Kitchen vegan French toast mix. It’s the first time I tried this mix and I was pretty excited because I really loved French toast back in the omni days. So, my verdict: it looks like French toast and tastes like French toast! The only thing I will say is that it’s a bit dry but I think syrup would take care of that. But I forgot to buy syrup because I’m a genius. It was good with powdered sugar too, but syrup would have been better. 

You know what would be cool? If I mixed this stuff with the Vegg! Right? That would be super cool. Imma try it! But I’m going to get syrup first because maple syrup is kind of the best thing ever. REAL maple syrup of course, not that Log Cabin plastic crap. That’s my word.

03/15/2012

Guest post: The greatest vegan waffle recipe in the world!  »


Waffles! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh they’re awesome. Seriously, the smell of waffles in the morning is the best alarm clock in the world. No one wants an extra 30 minutes when you can sneak an extra waffle or five instead.

This is the best vegan waffle recipe in the world. These waffles are so good, you should serve them with a gold crown with full-on royal fanfare. They’re easy to make, too; you could just stare at the ingredients and after a while you’d have made this recipe—it’s that easy.

What do we need?
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup whole wheat flour
2 ½ cups soy milk
2 Tbsp. canola oil
¼ cup brown sugar
1 tsp. baking powder
¼ tsp. salt

So you don’t suffer from Baker’s Enthusiasm, before doing anything plug your waffle maker in and start preheating. Now you can make waffles as soon as your batter is ready.

There’s two ways to do this: quick but reckless, or perfectionist. The quick but reckless way is simple. Just mix all the dry ingredients together, then add in all the wet ingredients, and BOOM you’ve got waffle mix.

If you want to stroll down Perfectionist Avenue, get your flour and sieve it into a large bowl, then add your sugar, baking powder, and salt. Then get your soy milk and canola oil, mix it all up until consistent.

When mixing all the ingredients, be gentle, as if you were stroking a tiny kitten’s head. This way you get a smooth and consistent batter. If you beat or whisk your batter like an angry bionic robot, then you’ll get a bowl of froth.

Once you’re happy with your batter, pour it in your waffle maker evenly and slowly. Be careful; overspill is both a waste of the world’s greatest waffle batter and also a pain in the ass to clean up.

It should take around five minutes to cook, give or take a minute. Plate up, add your toppings, and put them in your mouth hole. Enjoy!

Matt is a vegan from the U.K. After spending most of his life eating non-vegan food, he was converted by an ex-girlfriend and has never looked back. He writes waffle maker reviews at WaffleMakers.net. Check out his Waring Pro WMK600 review.

[photo by Mattie Hagedorn via Flickr]

12/20/2011

Have you been to Julie’s Coffee & Tea Garden in Alameda? Because they’ve got vegan pastries, tea-soaked quinoa, and THE BEST G-D VEGAN PÂTÉ ON EARTH. I wrote it up completely for SF Weekly but I just want to encourage you all to head to the isla bonita for some tasty treats. Plus, heated patio and also, VEGAN PÂTÉ. Get fucked, foie gras, this is where it’s at. 

Have you been to Julie’s Coffee & Tea Garden in Alameda? Because they’ve got vegan pastries, tea-soaked quinoa, and THE BEST G-D VEGAN PÂTÉ ON EARTH. I wrote it up completely for SF Weekly but I just want to encourage you all to head to the isla bonita for some tasty treats. Plus, heated patio and also, VEGAN PÂTÉ. Get fucked, foie gras, this is where it’s at. 

10/29/2011

Vegan MoFo: Pumpkin Oatmeal  »

It’s motherfucking pumpkin season, folks. Every year around this time, I gorge on the sweet squash by inserting it into as many concoctions as possible. The amazing flavor and lovely color herald the fall holidays, my favorites. So when I woke up this morning with a headache brought on by far too much wine last night, I needed something sweet, bright, and comforting. Hence this pumpkin oatmeal was born:

Pumpkin Oatmeal for One

Ingredients
1 cup water
1/4 cup rolled oats
1/4 can pumpkin puree
1/4 tsp. vanilla
1 Tbsp. agave nectar (or maple syrup, or sugar, or whatever)
assorted pumpkin-esque spices (allspice, cloves, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg—OR just some pumpkin pie spice)

Directions
Put water in saucepan and bring to a boil. When it’s boiling, add everything else, and reduce the heat. Cook, stirring occasionally, until it’s as runny or dry as you like. Add raisins or nuts or something if you’re nasty. Eat away your hangover.

10/21/2011

Vegan MoFo: Rachel’s Amazing Super-Fast Oatmeal
I eat the exact same thing for breakfast about 97 percent of the time. Why? Because it’s awesome, and also because there’s nothing worse in the morning than having to make decisions. Actually, the cat peeing on your bed or a car alarm going off for hours are examples of worse things, but why make life harder, you know?
I make a non-instant, microwave version of oatmeal with awesome stuff in it. It’s super-healthy, keeps you full, and takes only five minutes, including prep!
Disclosure: the photo above is not a photo of my breakfast. It’s a photo of someone on Flickr's breakfast because a) they're a way better photographer than me (come on guys, you've seen me try to shoot food) and b) I forgot to take a photo of my breakfast.
Ingredients1/3 cup rolled oats (NOT quick-cook or instant. Glue-city!)About 2 Tbsp. chopped date pieces (to taste)Sprinkle of salt2/3 cup waterCinnamonFlax oilSliced almonds (Or even better, those chopped and roasted ones you normally grind into almond butter that they seem to sell nowhere on Earth but the Berkeley Bowl. I’ll love you forever and even pay you back if you wanna mail me some of that, SO GOOD.)
InstructionsMix the oatmeal, salt, water, and date pieces in a microwave-safe bowl. The date pieces (or other dried fruit) are key: They break the surface tension and help keep your bowl from overflowing (science!).
Microwave for 3 minutes. Important: You may have to experiment with your power-level settings here. If your oatmeal overflows and pisses you off, then set the power level lower. I used to have a shitty microwave and it just worked, but now I have a stronger one and have to set it to Power Level 7.
Let cool for like a minute, then sprinkle with cinnamon, flax oil, and almonds to taste. I guess you could use other nuts or whatever but I’m almonds all the way, baby. Sometimes when I’m feeling really crazy I sprinkle on some chia seeds, but watch out, those like to nestle between your teeth and make you look dumb when you get to work even though you really did brush them, you swear.
Enjoy the deliciousness! Also cinnamon in the A.M. helps you be less hungry all day (Dr. Oz says so)! So do fat and protein! It’s really awesome!
You’re welcome. Now you know what to have in the house for me when I come visit.

Vegan MoFo: Rachel’s Amazing Super-Fast Oatmeal

I eat the exact same thing for breakfast about 97 percent of the time. Why? Because it’s awesome, and also because there’s nothing worse in the morning than having to make decisions. Actually, the cat peeing on your bed or a car alarm going off for hours are examples of worse things, but why make life harder, you know?

I make a non-instant, microwave version of oatmeal with awesome stuff in it. It’s super-healthy, keeps you full, and takes only five minutes, including prep!

Disclosure: the photo above is not a photo of my breakfast. It’s a photo of someone on Flickr's breakfast because a) they're a way better photographer than me (come on guys, you've seen me try to shoot food) and b) I forgot to take a photo of my breakfast.

Ingredients
1/3 cup rolled oats (NOT quick-cook or instant. Glue-city!)
About 2 Tbsp. chopped date pieces (to taste)
Sprinkle of salt
2/3 cup water
Cinnamon
Flax oil
Sliced almonds (Or even better, those chopped and roasted ones you normally grind into almond butter that they seem to sell nowhere on Earth but the Berkeley Bowl. I’ll love you forever and even pay you back if you wanna mail me some of that, SO GOOD.)

Instructions
Mix the oatmeal, salt, water, and date pieces in a microwave-safe bowl. The date pieces (or other dried fruit) are key: They break the surface tension and help keep your bowl from overflowing (science!).

Microwave for 3 minutes. Important: You may have to experiment with your power-level settings here. If your oatmeal overflows and pisses you off, then set the power level lower. I used to have a shitty microwave and it just worked, but now I have a stronger one and have to set it to Power Level 7.

Let cool for like a minute, then sprinkle with cinnamon, flax oil, and almonds to taste. I guess you could use other nuts or whatever but I’m almonds all the way, baby. Sometimes when I’m feeling really crazy I sprinkle on some chia seeds, but watch out, those like to nestle between your teeth and make you look dumb when you get to work even though you really did brush them, you swear.

Enjoy the deliciousness! Also cinnamon in the A.M. helps you be less hungry all day (Dr. Oz says so)! So do fat and protein! It’s really awesome!

You’re welcome. Now you know what to have in the house for me when I come visit.

08/24/2011

Souley Vegan canceling brunch, starting 6 a.m. breakfast!  »

So, bummer news! Souley Vegan has a sign in their window that reads:

Souley Vegan will no longer be open for brunch on Sundays starting August 28, 2011. We will be offering Breakfast from 6 to 9 a.m. Fridays and Saturdays… BEGIN date to be announced soon. Thank you!

And that’s almost 100 percent verbatim because the fantastic Rick went to check it out for us. So—6 a.m. breakfast on Friday and Saturday and no brunch FOR NOW. They’re supposed to move the brunch to weekdays, but I’m not sure when that’ll happen. I don’t know what kind of business plan this is! I am a little worried! I don’t think I’ve ever been up at 6 a.m.! Like, not once in my life! However, for all you earlier birds and club kids, have at that breakfast and let me know how it is. If it’s amazing, which I’m guessing it might be, I need you to bring some elephant-grade No-Doz and come at me. 

Now, let’s all stare at the Toasty Crispy and relax.

08/09/2011

A dozen to go, please! No recipe but what are you gonna do, not follow Vegan Breakfast because you can’t immediately recreate every delicious food porn photo? NOPE.
veganbreakfast:

Sugarplum tart with vanilla bean cream cheese drizzle by Ashlae | Ladycakes on Flickr.

A dozen to go, please! No recipe but what are you gonna do, not follow Vegan Breakfast because you can’t immediately recreate every delicious food porn photo? NOPE.

veganbreakfast:

Sugarplum tart with vanilla bean cream cheese drizzle by Ashlae | Ladycakes on Flickr.

(via veganbreakfast-deactivated20120)

05/26/2011

Veganized for your pleasure: brown sugar bacon buttermilk waffles  »


Why yes, that is rice whip on my waffle. I do not mess around.

I really don’t understand this longstanding bacon obsession in America. And when it got to the point where it was showing up on magazine covers, in chocolate bars, in squeezable formats, and with full-on "trend" status (If one more person tries to get me to eat bacon by saying, “but bacon doesn’t count,” I will have a conniption), I was confused and, yes, hurt. But just because we don’t want gristly bits of dead pig on top of our cupcakes doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the flavorful combination of sweet and smoky, the textural dissonance between chewy and fluffy. Peep this recipe, gag, and then make this bitchin’ and infinitely more animal-friendly version:

Fakin’ Bacon and Buttermilk Waffles
makes four Belgian waffles

Ingredients
"Bacon"

One package or recipe of tempeh “bacon” (I used Tofurky’s)
1/4 cup brown sugar

Waffles
3 Tbsp. ground flaxseed
6 Tbsp. hot water
2 cups soy milk (or whatever other vegan milk you use)
2 tsp. apple cider vinegar
2 cups flour
1 tsp. baking soda
1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. salt 
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 tsp. vanilla 

Instructions
Preheat your oven to 375 F. Spray a cookie sheet with some nonstick. Arrange the pretend bacon in a single layer on the cookie sheet. Sprinkle the brown sugar on top of the strips as evenly as you can. I won’t judge you for licking your fingers. Bake in the oven for about 15 minutes, until the sugar has become pretty liquidy. Let it cool, and then chop the sticky strips into little pieces—or break it apart with your hands if you’re nasty (related: I’m nasty).

In a bowl, whisk together the flax seed and hot water till it’s as frothy as your little hands can make it. In another bowl, stir together the milk and vinegar. Watch as it gets all curdled and weird-looking. Okay, focus! Now in a big bowl, sift together your dry ingredients (flour down to salt in the list above). Marvel once more at the crazy milk transformation, and whisk in the flax seed mixture, oil, and vanilla. Pour it all into the dry ingredients, and mix till it’s mostly combined. Then stir in the pretend bacon bits.

Follow your waffle iron’s directions to make as many waffles as possible. Cover it in Earth Balance, maple syrup, jam—whatever you put on waffles. Serve with orange juice, and pretend you’re being healthy. Eat, and slap yo’ mama.
This ain’t no ordinary waffle. As you can see, there’s chewy, savory tempeh bacon in there!

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