vegansaurus!

Guest post: The greatest vegan waffle recipe in the world!  »

Waffles! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh they’re awesome. Seriously, the smell of waffles in the morning is the best alarm clock in the world. No one wants an extra 30 minutes when you can sneak an extra waffle or five instead.

This is the best vegan waffle recipe in the world. These waffles are so good, you should serve them with a gold crown with full-on royal fanfare. They’re easy to make, too; you could just stare at the ingredients and after a while you’d have made this recipe—it’s that easy.

What do we need?
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup whole wheat flour
2 ½ cups soy milk
2 Tbsp. canola oil
¼ cup brown sugar
1 tsp. baking powder
¼ tsp. salt

So you don’t suffer from Baker’s Enthusiasm, before doing anything plug your waffle maker in and start preheating. Now you can make waffles as soon as your batter is ready.

There’s two ways to do this: quick but reckless, or perfectionist. The quick but reckless way is simple. Just mix all the dry ingredients together, then add in all the wet ingredients, and BOOM you’ve got waffle mix.

If you want to stroll down Perfectionist Avenue, get your flour and sieve it into a large bowl, then add your sugar, baking powder, and salt. Then get your soy milk and canola oil, mix it all up until consistent.

When mixing all the ingredients, be gentle, as if you were stroking a tiny kitten’s head. This way you get a smooth and consistent batter. If you beat or whisk your batter like an angry bionic robot, then you’ll get a bowl of froth.

Once you’re happy with your batter, pour it in your waffle maker evenly and slowly. Be careful; overspill is both a waste of the world’s greatest waffle batter and also a pain in the ass to clean up.

It should take around five minutes to cook, give or take a minute. Plate up, add your toppings, and put them in your mouth hole. Enjoy!

Matt is a vegan from the U.K. After spending most of his life eating non-vegan food, he was converted by an ex-girlfriend and has never looked back. He writes waffle maker reviews at WaffleMakers.net. Check out his Waring Pro WMK600 review.

[photo by Mattie Hagedorn via Flickr]

Vegan MoFo: Pumpkin Oatmeal  »

It’s motherfucking pumpkin season, folks. Every year around this time, I gorge on the sweet squash by inserting it into as many concoctions as possible. The amazing flavor and lovely color herald the fall holidays, my favorites. So when I woke up this morning with a headache brought on by far too much wine last night, I needed something sweet, bright, and comforting. Hence this pumpkin oatmeal was born:

Pumpkin Oatmeal for One

Ingredients
1 cup water
1/4 cup rolled oats
1/4 can pumpkin puree
1/4 tsp. vanilla
1 Tbsp. agave nectar (or maple syrup, or sugar, or whatever)
assorted pumpkin-esque spices (allspice, cloves, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg—OR just some pumpkin pie spice)

Directions
Put water in saucepan and bring to a boil. When it’s boiling, add everything else, and reduce the heat. Cook, stirring occasionally, until it’s as runny or dry as you like. Add raisins or nuts or something if you’re nasty. Eat away your hangover.

Souley Vegan canceling brunch, starting 6 a.m. breakfast!  »

So, bummer news! Souley Vegan has a sign in their window that reads:

Souley Vegan will no longer be open for brunch on Sundays starting August 28, 2011. We will be offering Breakfast from 6 to 9 a.m. Fridays and Saturdays… BEGIN date to be announced soon. Thank you!

And that’s almost 100 percent verbatim because the fantastic Rick went to check it out for us. So—6 a.m. breakfast on Friday and Saturday and no brunch FOR NOW. They’re supposed to move the brunch to weekdays, but I’m not sure when that’ll happen. I don’t know what kind of business plan this is! I am a little worried! I don’t think I’ve ever been up at 6 a.m.! Like, not once in my life! However, for all you earlier birds and club kids, have at that breakfast and let me know how it is. If it’s amazing, which I’m guessing it might be, I need you to bring some elephant-grade No-Doz and come at me. 

Now, let’s all stare at the Toasty Crispy and relax.

Veganized for your pleasure: brown sugar bacon buttermilk waffles  »

Why yes, that is rice whip on my waffle. I do not mess around.

I really don’t understand this longstanding bacon obsession in America. And when it got to the point where it was showing up on magazine covers, in chocolate bars, in squeezable formats, and with full-on “trend” status (If one more person tries to get me to eat bacon by saying, “but bacon doesn’t count,” I will have a conniption), I was confused and, yes, hurt. But just because we don’t want gristly bits of dead pig on top of our cupcakes doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the flavorful combination of sweet and smoky, the textural dissonance between chewy and fluffy. Peep this recipe, gag, and then make this bitchin’ and infinitely more animal-friendly version:

Fakin’ Bacon and Buttermilk Waffles
makes four Belgian waffles

Ingredients
“Bacon”
One package or recipe of tempeh “bacon” (I used Tofurky’s)
1/4 cup brown sugar

Waffles
3 Tbsp. ground flaxseed
6 Tbsp. hot water
2 cups soy milk (or whatever other vegan milk you use)
2 tsp. apple cider vinegar
2 cups flour
1 tsp. baking soda
1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. salt 
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 tsp. vanilla 

Instructions
Preheat your oven to 375 F. Spray a cookie sheet with some nonstick. Arrange the pretend bacon in a single layer on the cookie sheet. Sprinkle the brown sugar on top of the strips as evenly as you can. I won’t judge you for licking your fingers. Bake in the oven for about 15 minutes, until the sugar has become pretty liquidy. Let it cool, and then chop the sticky strips into little pieces—or break it apart with your hands if you’re nasty (related: I’m nasty).

In a bowl, whisk together the flax seed and hot water till it’s as frothy as your little hands can make it. In another bowl, stir together the milk and vinegar. Watch as it gets all curdled and weird-looking. Okay, focus! Now in a big bowl, sift together your dry ingredients (flour down to salt in the list above). Marvel once more at the crazy milk transformation, and whisk in the flax seed mixture, oil, and vanilla. Pour it all into the dry ingredients, and mix till it’s mostly combined. Then stir in the pretend bacon bits.

Follow your waffle iron’s directions to make as many waffles as possible. Cover it in Earth Balance, maple syrup, jam—whatever you put on waffles. Serve with orange juice, and pretend you’re being healthy. Eat, and slap yo’ mama.
This ain’t no ordinary waffle. As you can see, there’s chewy, savory tempeh bacon in there!

Gluten-free biscuits and gravy! Your eyes do not deceive you!  »

I don’t have celiac disease and I don’t have a sensitivity to gluten; nonetheless, I’m into the challenge of making delicious gluten-free, vegan, baked goods and entrees/sides.  The thing that discourages me when I am looking for recipes is that I need to have 5 million ingredients, none of which are in my “pantry” (haphazard shelf in the kitchen). I mean, are 15 different bean and grain flours necessary?

I’ve taken it upon myself to experiment and I came up with this biscuit. Only three flours! Plus xanthan gum, which is expensive, but imperative. It is what binds the flours together, which is what gluten normally does. I like to get mine out of bulk bins, that way I don’t have spend $15 at a time.

Ingredients
1/2 cup corn flour
1 cup sweet rice flour
1/2 cup garfava flour
3/4 tsp. xanthan gum
1 1/2 tsp. salt
5 tsp. baking powder
1/3 cup chilled soy margarine or vegetable shortening at room temperature
1 cup unsweetened soy milk or water

Instructions
Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
The trick with biscuits is to not play with them too much. This is especially true when working with regular flour, but I like to think the same rule applies for gluten-free as well. The less you handle them, the flakier they will be.

Measure out your flours, salt, xanthan gum and baking powder (dry ingredients) in a bowl.  Whisk to get any lumps out and to mix everything together (you can use a fork for this step-sometimes I find myself with no whisk). Add chilled soy margarine in small chunks.  This is called cutting it in, which is described here. You don’t need a pastry cutter, some people use knives, but I use my hands. Not over mixing or playing with your dough is extremely important once you start adding the fat and liquid.
 
The different dry ingredients whisked together.

Chunks of fat.

Lightly, by hand, mix everything together. You want the consistency to be “pebble- or sand-like,” with chunks of magerine or shortening visible throughout. Next, add your soy milk or water.  Knead 10 times, no more!
 
Pebble-like. Maybe closer to sand this time around.

Now, I don’t have a pastry-cutter, I’m not that fancy, but maybe I should look into it. I just spoon out some dough and drop in onto a greased baking sheet. A few inches apart, and you should get about eight biscuits out of it. Place in the center of the oven.

Gluten-free goods bake faster than their regular counterparts. Check them around the 8 minute mark.  If the bottoms are browning, they are close to done. You don’t want the tops to brown, or they won’t be flaky, they will be OVERBAKED. The baking time should be around eight to 12 minutes, depending how long the oven preheated and how quickly your oven bakes.

Perfect!

Gravy is so easy, once you make it the first time, I guarantee you will become a gravy-making machine!

Ingredients
1 medium red onion
4 cloves of garlic
2 Tbsp. rice flour (sweet or regular)
3 cups unsweetened soy milk
1/2 tsp. pepper
1/2 to 1 Tbsp. salt
pinch of Italian herbs

Instructions
Dice up your onion and saute it on medium heat until it’s transparent or caramelized. Add chopped or minced garlic, cooking until fragrant, but don’t let the garlic brown. Add 2 Tbsp. rice flour to coat everything in the pan and let it cook in for a minute or two, moving constantly as to not let flour burn. Browning it a little will add a subtle nutty flavor to your gravy.


Onions and garlic, coated with rice flour.

Pour in 2 cups of soy milk, whisking constantly, and bring to a light boil. You will probably need to turn up the heat a little bit. Add your salt and pepper, then the remainder of the soy milk. Don’t stop whisking! Once you get the consistency/thickness you prefer, take off the heat and add a pinch of Italian herbs. Add more salt/pepper as desired. You can either leave it chunky, or throw it in a food processor or blender until smooth.


Adding the soy milk.


Whisk until thickened.

Biscuits and gravy! There you have it!