vegansaurus!

12/12/2008

Review: Walzwerk!  »

Vegetarian schnitzel, y’all!

Sprechen Sie fucking delicious?

HELL JA!

I’ll stop!

Walzwerk is kinda the cutest, kitschiest, most adorable restaurant this side of the wall. It’s tiny and perfectly decorated and if this is what it means to be a pinko bastard then sign me up!

First and foremost: the potato pancakes are vegan and they are GOOD. It’s hard to find a potato pancake that isn’t also filled with egg grossness so this is an exciting find. Tell them that you’re vegan and they’ll grimace and tell you to eat meat and then give you extra applesauce instead of sour cream. The fact that these are vegan makes coming to this restaurant worth it. Just come and get three orders and an Alsterwasser (that’s half-beer, half 7-Up, 100 percent CRAZY GERMAN) and you’re set. I’ve often said, if the potato were an animal, I don’t know if I could be vegan, I just love to eat them so g-d much! But I bet a potato would be a creepy little animal anyway, running around and biting ankles and shit, living underground, being evil. It would have to be eradicated and I would be just the woman for a job. There’s a comic in there.

Other vegan food stuff they offer include veggie stuffed cabbage roulade, veggie beet soup (VERY GOOD), and cucumber and dill salad (VERY GOOD). There is also an awesome selection of German beers that go perfectly with this hearty food, especially the crazy beer/7-Up/coke-and-beer combos! Those crazy-ass Germans! They are SO WEIRD!

All this and at the end of the night, you don’t exit into terrifying 1985 East Germany but instead into exciting 21st century San Francisco, where you are free to do lines of cocaine off of a hooker’s tits until you pass out in a pile of your own vomit. What can I say? We gots it good!

Auf Wiedersehen, bitches!!!

[Fernsehturm image via Walzwerk]

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