vegansaurus!

02/15/2010

Give Meat a Break, John Stossel  »

We don’t normally like linking to Fox News, but sometimes they’re begging to get mocked, and we can’t help but oblige. You see, Fox News’s John Stossel, author of Give Me a Break: How I Exposed Hucksters, Cheats, and Scam Artists and Became the Scourge of the Liberal Media, has a really hard life. If it’s not the eco-fascists denying him his God-given right to eat endangered animals, it’s those lazy women mouthing off about how their easy jobs don’t “pay” enough.

This time he’s locked in epic battle against the Forces of Tyranny, in the urban hell-hole known as Cambridge, Mass., where "Vegan Mondays" have been proposed by the city as a way to fight climate change.

In dubbing it “tyranny,” Stossel comes to the startling revelation that Mayor Denise Simmons wasn’t legitimately elected by a democratic process, but in fact seized control of Cambridge by military coup, because that’s what actual tyranny is. After a decade of cheering on racial profiling, torture, secret prisons and other war crimes, Fox News wants us to believe that leaving meat off the menu one day a week is tantamount to jackbooted thugs marching through the streets.

Never mind how much meat production and animal experimentation remind us of the cold, mechanized efficiency of a certain World War II-era regime that will remain nameless, or how island nations like Tuvalu and the Maldives are faced with evacuating their entire populations. None of that matters if someone, somewhere feels guilty about eating a steak. No one is free when others are oppressed; that’s a bumper sticker we take to heart here at Fox, though we’ve exempted “confinement crates” and “watching your nation slowly drown to death” from “not free.”

Be sure to let John Stossel know what you think.

[Ed.: we’d like to take this moment to again commend the city of Ghent, Belgium, for instituting Thursday Veggie Days to near-total civic success. Europe wins again]

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