vegansaurus!

Fred Durst is on a juice cleanse. How are your resolutions going?   »

Remember that night, two weeks ago, when you made a bunch of champagne-filled empty promises to yourself? How’s that whole “going for a jog every day” thing going? Taking your vitamins? Blogging every day?

Do you need a little inspiration? I know I do!

Fred Durst is on a juice cleanse. Yes, Mr. Imma Cover a George Michael Song in ‘99 is on a JUICE CLEANSE! And blogging about it! I tried to avert my eyes, but this shit reads like a diary! It sucked me in like reality TV!

Fred Durst’s fridge. Let’s just admit that sometimes we find inspiration in the weirdest places, okay? So I can still look myself in the mirror?

Wine counts as juice right? It’s made out of grapes! Silly me, I just answered my own question. But seriously, if Fred Durst can go all juice-cleanse, I KNOW I can too (I might be a little competitive)! Not gonna lie, I’m totally hating myself motivated right now!

Jeff Mangum is VEGAN!? And he’s on TOUR!? Get a rope!  »

You know, so we can all tie him up and marry him. The genius man-boy behind every hip-and-cool person’s favorite band Neutral Milk Hotel* is on tour, which is something he hardly ever does. Except for the animals BECAUSE HE’S AN AWESOME VEGAN. Of course he is! Look at him cuddle that chicken! I can’t wait for him to perform at our wedding when I marry him!

Because I think we should all get to marry him. I think he’ll love that because he’s not an intensely private person, or anything. You can’t escape love, Jeff. Especially when it clubs you on the head and keeps you hostage in an XL dog crate in the basement. 

So, let’s all go see him! Tickets are on pre-sale now but the password is “layover” so SEE YOU THERE.

Finally, no disrespect, but I totally think Jim Carrey could play him in his biopic. Okay, I guess that was a little disrespect.

*who isn’t Azealia Banks. Lick those gums, lady! Really get in there! Also, love when she does the fake stairs thing. Also, don’t watch this if you hate swears because SHE LOVES SWEARS. 

Not a fail, Eva Longoria. More like a beginner’s mistake  »

Dear Eva Longoria,
Hey girl! I just heard you tried to go vegan and feel kinda guilty about your epic fail. What’s this noise about not doing the research about how to nourish yourself with plant-based food? Passing out cause you subsided on salad? Not knowing almond butter exists? I’m just so confused. But don’t worry! For both our sakes, I’m here to help you with all this mind-boggling vegan stuff.

1.) I can’t help but feel that many people, when they make the transition from omnivore to vegetarian or vegan, don’t know what they are doing at first. It’s tricky to change your entire lifestyle and eating habits. Not to sound facetious, but there’s this tool a lot of us use called the internet. It’s great! I personally used it to find out how I could get my protein, iron, and vitamins from a plant-based diet! Then I made myself a handwritten list of how to make complete proteins and stuck it to the side of my refrigerator! Hey, like I said, I’m here to help you!

2.) You went from an omnivorous diet to a diet consisting of salads? Were you trying to go vegan or go raw? That’s some hardcore shit, Eva. I’d fail too! I mean, I tried a mostly raw diet and I didn’t last too long either. Let’s try some seitan buffalo wings before we move on to like, raw veggies in a collard green wrap, OK?

3.) If you need a personal vegan chef, call me. Seriously. I’ll move to Hollywood. I’ll move to Texas. Whatever you want, girlfriend. Let’s try this again. Your support system is in place!

Sincerely,
Jenny Bradley
(vegan chef extraordinaire)

Hip-hop royalty went vegan. My heart exploded.  »

They are the cutest! The CUTEST!

Were you aware that Lady B has gone vegan* during her pregnancy?! I was not. What kind of vegan celebrity correspondent am I? I will never forgive myself for letting us all down this way.

For the last few months of her pregnancy, Jay-Z has also adopted a vegan eating style! This is fantastic news! Sympathy eating FTW! I’m hoping they keep up with this new lifestyle, after the baby is born.

Yo, Beyoncé! I will help you come out with a line of healthy vegan baby food! Or be your personal chef—whatever you want!

*UPDATE: We are reading that Beyoncé and Jay-Z have only gone “partially vegan!” So please take note. I think it’s still pretty great though because she’s basically telling the world she thinks going vegan is better for babies, when everyone else is like, “it will kill the fetus!” AND maybe her and Jay-Z will feel so super that they will want to go fully vegan! Maybe if we are all positive about it, it will help! Negative nancies. Laura adds this note for Beyoncé: “while you’re at it, ditch the fur, goddammit! We want you to be our vegan goddess!” Agreed. -Megan Rascal

Ryan Gosling speaks out for animals, a billion undergarments drop  »

Ryan Gosling, hero to every person with eyes, is speaking out for abused chickens! Whatta man, whatta man, whatta mighty fine man GOOD LORD.

Gosling co-wrote a letter to McDonald’s, asking them to use cage-free eggs. 

According to Mercy for Animals, the appeal comes after hidden-camera video, shot at Sparboe facilities in three states revealed hens crammed in tiny wire cages, dead hens left to rot in cages with birds still laying eggs for McDonald’s Egg McMuffins, and workers burning off the beaks of baby birds without painkillers. Yum! Watch the undercover video here:

[Can’t see the video? Watch it on Vegansaurus.com!]

Ugh, egg farms are the grossest. Seriously, this kind of abuse isn’t just happening at Sparboe facilities, it’s happening any place animals are treated as commodities. I see those poor chickens and I imagine my dog in that situation and I just want to murder everything.

So, thank you, Ryan Gosling, and assorted other celebrities I don’t give a shit about because your faces are like garbage compared to his, for speaking out.  I already wanted to go all Kathy Bates in Misery on him and now the odds of that happening are about 2-1. G’damn!

And finally, some Feminist Ryan Gosling to both tantalize and amuse:

Katy Perry donates $175,000 from California Dreams tour to charities, including the Humane Society!  »

I’m done hating on Katy Perry. I must have been unhappy with some aspect of myself (not being an adorable pop star married to Russell Brand, perhaps). I’m going to use this forum to come out and say it: I’m a Katy Perry fan. (Don’t worry, I kind of hate myself too). I have bought more of her songs than I care to admit on itunes, which I play when I invite people over for some elegant debauchery. Ask Sarah, we’ve jumped around and sang TGIF countless times on my porch (#tweens)! Oh, and she does a fab rendition of “California Gurls” at karaoke, let me tell you. I clapped my hands with glee the entire time.

Katy and her cat, Kitty Purry

Now that I’ve come clean, let’s proceed! Katy Perry is donating $175,000 of her ticket sales from the California Dreams tour to over 50 charities, including the Humane Society, Generosity Water and the Children’s Health Fund. Each organization is rumored to receive around $40,000 each! Haters gonna hate, but I’m not one of them anymore!

[Photo courtesy peoplepets.com]

Janet Jackson loses a SUPERFAN over fur line (why Janet, why?)  »

It’s a sad, sad day in the world of animal lovin’ (not wearin’) Janet Jackson fans. Ms “I can get down with some faux chicken nuggets” Nasty, in collaboration with Blackglama, is launching a mink fur line, set to hit high-end retailers just in time for New Year’s. What what? EX-superfan, Sean Olsterdorf of Michigan, is not pleased and is therefore auctioning off ALL of his 25 years-in-the-making Janet memorabilia collection of vinyls, posters, pictures, and magazines, and donating the proceeds to PETA.

Janet modeling dead animals.
Sean says, “I am a long-time Janet Jackson fan—or I should say I used to be. I am disgusted and have decided I want to auction off my entire 25 years-plus of Janet items and donate the proceeds to PETA. I have three rescued chinchillas and find Janet’s decision reprehensible.”

Props, Sean! I know it must be hurting you (even if it’s just a little) to part with that massive collection. Also, where did you keep all this stuff? Was it showcased around your apartment? Did it keep you from getting dates? My sister has been collecting 311 memorabilia for the last 12 years, but lucky for her, she married another superfan, so they can, like, decorate their house with that shit together.
(Let’s not talk about my No Doubt memorabilia and the fact that I am so very single.)

[Photo from Rocco Laspata/Blackglama]

Gift for the TMZ watcher in your life: celebrity PETA stamps!  »

I know this is totally going to catch you by surprise…

…celebrity PETA stamps! Famous vegetarians! How many of them are vegan? Are you interested in buying these ICONIC* postage stamps?

They are available for purchase, limited time only, here — if not for yourself, maybe me the celeb whore in your life?

Until next time…


*I must just be jealous that I’m not famous enough to be featured on a postage stamp. PETA! I’m here and I’m waiting for you to take notice.

{Photos courtesy of Peta.org and bauergriffinonline.com}

Another celeb on the (awesomest) band wagon: Eliza Dushku goes vegan!  »

Yet another post in the series you love to hate, but can’t keep yourself from reading: Another celeb goes vegan!

Eliza Dushku has taken to Twitter to announce she too, is going vegan after watching Forks Over Knives! I still need to watch this movie, no joke! I’m just so busy lately watching Keeping Up With the Kardashians blogging, working, and being a lady about town.

On December 3rd, she tweeted, “That’s it! We watched #ForksOverKnives & are going for a plant-based diet- that doc is astounding! Animal products no bien, homies #watchdoc.” While perusing her Twitter account I also caught a glimpse of a twitpic of her recent meal at the LA Café Gratitude (you know, the one NOT closing). You go, Eliza. Keep on rockin’ in the vegan world.

Now maybe we can put that whole “I shoot animals for sport and then eat them” thing behind us. Celebrities!

[Photo courtesy Ecorazzi]