Store review: Layonna Vegetarian Health Food Market!  »

Shit! I can’t believe I haven’t written a review of g-d Layonna! What is wrong with me?! Don’t answer that! Layonna’s fake meat is known by veggies and vegans the world over. Seriously. If you tell a vegan in motherfucking Kathmandu that you are from the San Francisco Bay Area they will be like, “OH MY GOD! YOU ARE SO LUCKY TO LIVE SO CLOSE TO LAYONNA!!!”  This is not a joke and only a slight exaggeration. And yes, that is how they speak in Kathmandu.

Layonna is located in downtown Oakland. It’s tiny but filled from floor to ceiling with every kind of fake meat imaginable. Fake peking duck, fake scallops, fake monkfish (what?), fake bacon, fake baby, fake chicken drumsticks and more! They have an impressive selection of cheap fake beef jerky and stuff like mushroom broth and lots of types of noodles. Some good cheap ramen too! This place is a wonderland. Just like John Mayer sings so passionately about. In fact, that song is about this store, pass it on.

PRO TIP: get the fish filets and then buy some fish fry stuff and have possibly the most delicious crispy fish sandwich on earth. Like McDonald’s but it won’t kill you. As fast.

[top photo via yelp; bottom via Layonna]

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