Make a vegan brownie in the microwave! This video has been lurking online for months without me noticing. That’s ridiculous. Internet minions, you’ve failed me.
Maybe no one noticed that this recipe for making a brownie in a mug in the microwave was vegan, since it doesn’t say so anywhere. The vegan part is subtle and just kind of normal. Like baking in the microwave is normal.
If anyone tries this, let us know what you think.
Watch this: Daniel Patterson’s Go-To Summer Soup »
Remember Archie, the tiny “chef” who helped his daddy cook this soup that I have now made variations of at least 20 times because it is so good and also Archie and his daddy are so freaking adorable? We now have a rival father-son soup-making video, courtesy Chow’s “My Go-To Dish” series: this video features super-fancy chef Daniel Patterson (of Coi! and Plum!) and his kid making a summertime soup of eggplant, zucchini, tomatoes, beans, purslane, and basil. And things! It looks SO GOOD, you guys.
“Home is not a pursuit of perfection; home is pursuit of dinner. One of the things that’s really unfortunate is the fear of doing something wrong. Because you have to do things wrong. It’s like, how you learn, and if you’ve got good ingredients and you’re trying your best, in the end it’s gonna be fine.” —Daniel Patterson, 2011 and FOREVER. Indeed it is! Kitchens are like chem labs for eating, they’re amazing and fun!
You may think you love Daniel Patterson now, but wait till the end of the video when he CHASES HIS SMALL SON AROUND THE HOUSE WIELDING HIS TINY BABY BEFORE HIM. You guys all I want is space for a small garden—herbs, a couple greens, vertical tomatoes—and a bunch of animals and babies. OK and the internet, I love the internet. But for real, let’s all adopt animals and small children and grow our own food and be friends with the neighbors and make this chilled eggplant soup. This is the summer of our aspiration. Yes, we aspire to soup. Shut it, soup is the best.
If anyone else takes this on, we will post it! Holler (via email) at your girl!
Dude, that’s an entire Thanksgiving meal in one insane cake. WHO WILL VEGANIZE THIS FOR US!?!? Who here amongst us is vegan enough to pull off such a feat!? Seriously, we will post it and then create a shrine to you in our closets and pray before it every holiday season. You will become The Vegan Saint of Crazy-Ass Food and seriously, I’ll have a baby for you. Or not have a baby for you, if you’re anti-breeding. The point is, I’ll do something crazy in return…maybe I’ll shower two days in a row! Things could get nuts!
[At the very least, we will feature you on Vegansaurus! Every one of you who attempts this cake! Yes those are mini marshmallows on the top (because yams) but don’t let that intimidate you, BE BOLD.]
Lax food safety standards make veganism a safer choice »
“Food safety” is totally conceptual, right? Like “equal rights for all humans,” everyone’s all for it in theory, but in practice it just…isn’t.
The forced labor camps in Iowa where all the Salmonella-eggs came from had “pits beneath laying houses where chicken manure was piled four to eight feet high” and “hens that had escaped from laying cages [were] tracking through the manure.” Not to mention the “meat and bone meal” chicken feed tested positive for Salmonella AND was kept in bins full of holes! Want to feel worse? Read all the stories on Chow’s list of the terrible history of the DeCoster farms.
Or, OK, leave off the half-million recalled eggs; maybe they were some kind of huge outlier. An FDA inspector hadn’t seen the inside of one of those chicken-prisons in at least six years, anyway. How’s the meat industry doing? Very poorly, is the answer! They’ve fought every change to every regulation, claiming that they follow all the rules and new ones are unnecessary. Now a super-rare strain of E. coli has appeared in ground beef from Cargill, but the American Meat Institute says that they’re so busy working on preventative measures, which would be blown all to pieces if the Dept. of Agriculture dared to list this new scary E. coli as an illegal substance in ground beef. Even though it has already make people sick, and forced a recall of 8,500 pounds of Cargill ground beef—no no, it’s not THAT bad! Shut up and listen to the nice executives, FDA.
And if you don’t eat meat: how about some honey from China? It’s full of delicious antibiotics! Not that China has time to worry about one company’s scam; it discovered that 402 tons of imported dairy products—99.8 percent of total dairy imports!—were full of Enterobacter sakazakii, plus “excessive amount of nitrites, zinc and total bacterial count.” Wait, E. sakazakii has “historically high case fatality in infants,” up to 80 percent, and the aforementioned “dairy products” were POWDERED MILK FORMULA? That people FEED THEIR INFANTS? Way to go, every country involved in this disgusting scandal, which include Australia, France, New Zealand, Singapore, Taiwan, the U.S., and of course China: you are all reprehensible. [news links via Tom Scocca]
Of course it’s safer—and more humane, but duh—not to eat animal products, but for how much longer? If we don’t change our methods of food production, the world is fucked. The animal-borne bacteria will get into our produce because giant farms aren’t careful with their runoff, and we’ll all perish of some kind of horrible E. coli/Salmonella hybrid. Good luck out there, everyone.