Vegansaurus NYC: Square Root Cafe! »
Hey people, the unthinkable has happened! I’m completely content! Or at least I was for a brief moment at the adorable Square Root Cafe in Brooklyn. This place is so cute. It’s a diner, but not a ridiculous Johnny Rockets kind of diner, more like a mismatched-wooden-chairs, nice jukebox, lollipops-at-the-counter kind of diner. They don’t have a ton of vegan options but there was definitely a presence. And it said great stuff on the menu like about how all the vegetables are vegan and cooked on-site. That’s really all I ask; I mean, it’d be great if every where had more vegan options but I just really love when the vegan items are clearly marked and you feel really confident about just how vegan they are.
That beautiful monstrosity above is the Bongo Breakfast! And it was AWESOME. For one thing, it turns out I really enjoy saying, “Bongo Breakfast!” For another—look at it! You get all that different food! You can see it’s not your typical tofu scramble—in fact I don’t think the menu called it that. It’s chopped up tofu with mushrooms and bell peppers and it was surprisingly good. It might be a little bland for many of you but I personally enjoy just straight up tofu, so I liked it. I also occasionally eat handfuls of raw oatmeal. Go figure. That crazy-looking sausage was A++ and the hash browns were extra-tasty. I even ate part of the little salad, which is amazing because salads are for nancies.
Guess what else! They offer vegan milkshakes! Pish, like I care. Jk, it’s cool but I just never liked milkshakes. Maybe I should try one though! I’ve definitely never had a vegan milkshake. In fact, one of my assignments for my silly school is to do something I’ve never done that takes me out of my comfort zone; I think it means confronting your inner demons, which in my case are clearly milkshakes. Milkshakes and RATS. Actually, if anyone knows of a place in New York where I can go meet some rats, let me know because I was thinking I could do that for the assignment. Hmm, what was I talking about? Why are you always distracting me!!!
Now, back to the Square Root (I believe that was a math joke. See, I told you I’m basically a mathematician). Not only was the food good, but the guy working there was super-nice and I’m totally not saying that just because he was attractive. Also, he was attractive. Also, this is my new favorite place!