vegansaurus!

02/08/2011

Ad Beat: New Zealand commercial “parodies” crush videos  »

So here’s the offensive New Zealand’s Next Top Model commercial that’s got the country abuzz—you can watch it, no real animals are crushed:


[can’t see the video? Watch it on vegansaurus.com!]

I know some people got upset when I criticized an ad recently so to them I say, beware!: things are ‘bout to get critical! I think the first thing you notice is what a CRAPPY commercial it is. To think someone paid for this! I’m not sure where they squandered the budget for a decent director but it certainly didn’t go toward editing.

On to the real issue, people are PISSED about the commercial’s reference to “crush videos.” As you dedicated readers know, Congress recently passed a bill to ban crush videos in the U.S. Thank god. I had never heard of crush videos and I wish I still hadn’t. It’s a truly despicable phenomenon. Animal cruelty is bad enough, but when someone truly derives pleasure from it? It’s almost too much for the heart to handle. It makes me question humanity and wish everyone would, I don’t know, DROP DEAD.

Wait, genius idea: take something super offensive, deplorable and illegal* and make light of it! This is a recipe for success! Let’s brainstorm. I’m imagining a photoshoot with Kewpie dolls in crotchless panties—it could be for the next Rock of Love! So edgy. Or maybe McDonald’s could do a “my factory-farm friends” toy seriesthose Happy Meals would fly off the shelf! There’s no shortage of awful things that happen in the world so really, the possibilities are endless!

Go to Change.org if you’d like to read more and sign a petition to get the commercial cut.

*Not everywhere, but you know what I mean.

11/22/2010

OMG, Congress actually DOES something: “Crush” videos banned  »

The impulse to crush and/or smother things that are just too damn precious is a near-universal aspect of the human condition, much like love or pooping. But as anybody whose read John Steinbeck’s Of Mice and Men knows, actually following through and smashing attractive things to death is a horrible idea. So horrible, in fact, that Friday the U.S. Senate—which usually can’t do anything right—unanimously approved a ban (already passed by the House) on so-called crush videos, which are basically fetish porn in which a woman’s bare or high-heeled foot stomps a small animal to death.

We here at Vegansaurus aren’t ones to judge (j/k, yes we are!), but this is an obviously ridiculous fetish. Sex involving animals should be limited to those vibrators that look like rabbits or, shudder, furries. At least if you’re not Danish. And even then, there should be mutual consent. 

Despite this seeming like a no-brainer, though, a previous (1999) law that effectively banned the sale, distribution, manufacture, etc., of the videos was struck down by the Supreme Court because its broad scope supposedly infringed on our freedom of speech. While such animal cruelty remained legal even after the Supreme Court’s ruling, existing laws applied more to the videos’ initial production (that is, crushing an animal to death) than their distribution. The new law is more narrow in scope, and exempts videos depicting fishing, hunting, and trapping, because this is America, God bless us and our guns. 

The law’s unanimous passage isn’t a surprise, given that the Republicans’ only desire greater than legislative gridlock is banning everything possible that’s sexually aberrant. Still, in this case, their anti-kinky agenda definitely works out for the best, because, you know, jerking off while watching something die shouldn’t be anyone’s idea of a good time. Ugh.

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