Give the children what they want: chocolate milk!  »

Big Ag and six-year-olds agree—chocolate milk in schools! Wait, wait, so I’m being told that children want a sugary, chocolate drink with their school lunches? No way! My eyes must be playing a joke on me when I read that Big Ag is arguing that fruit juices have just as much sugar as chocolate milk, so chocolate milk is the OBVIOUS choice. Plus, you know, if first-graders aren’t drinking milk, they will have calcium deficiencies, as everyone knows the only way to get calcium is milk.

NOT! Human animals can get calcium the same way cows do—by eating leafy greens. And I’m not trying to say six-year-olds aren’t sharp, but I wanted a unicorn in first grade.* Just sayin’.

Aw, remember these videos? Too bad it’s all lies and dairy milk causes clogged arteries! Gross. Almond milk will make you strong! Unless you’re allergic—then you just might get hives. Hemp? Oatmeal? Soy? There is a whole slew of delicious alternatives!

*While I pined for a unicorn, other kiddies were off saving the world with veggie recipes. Here’s my favorite cornbread recipe, created by an 11-year-old, Dana Sly! It turns out perfect every time I make it!


Product review: Daiya Cheese!  »

Daiya Cheese has taken the vegan world by storm. I mean, I think. I haven’t been able to find much out about it on the internets but I know this shit looks amazing and whoever can invent a truly amazing melty, stretchy vegan cheese will do more for veganism than anyone ever. Lofty statement, I know but HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES have you heard, “But I couldn’t live without cheese!” As if cheese were air! Or human touch! Or POTATOES! Well, it’s not. It’s just fucking cheese, it’s nasty, moldy milk from a cow’s teet, you foul freak. Anyway, with Daiya, we finally have something that can at least run with the big (cheese) dogs.

Daiya Cheese is based in Canada and until recently, was only being sold at a few restaurants in Vancouver. About a month ago*, Pangea started selling Daiya and we were ON IT.

Daiya Cheese is interesting because it’s not soy-based**, the main ingredient is CASSAVA. Crazy, right?? Other ingredients include arrowroot and pea protein. I don’t know what all that’s about but i do know that this stuff MELTS and this stuff STRETCHES and it’s GOOD. We made some grilled cheese sandwiches at Vegansaurus HQ and we were all pretty excited. Meave says, “Tastes like grilled cheese from Carrows ca. 1989. Very good. Quite salty.” Joel says, “Stretchiness is great. The flavor isn’t as perfectly cheddary as Follow Your Heart, but the texture is spot-on. This, friends, is a grilled cheese sandwich!” From Jonas, “Best vegan cheddar I’ve had, better than Teese and Follow Your Heart, which are kind-of nasty. Tasty, cheesy and stretchy!”

*Just checked Pangea and it looks like it’s sold out. Arg! I hope it comes back soon! When it does come back, you have to order it with a freezy pack and get fast shipping. I recommend ordering a large amount and then freezing some of it so that you can make the most of the ridonkulous shipping costs.

**Actually, the site says all this:
Daiya has 33 percent less fat than typical cheese! It is cholesterol-free; trans-fat-free; dairy-free; free of all animal products—vegan/parve; free of artificial Ingredients; free of preservatives; free of common allergens, including soy, casein, lactose, whey, wheat, barley, corn, rice, gluten, nut.

I would think it was chemical death if I didn’t already know that it’s made with cassava and arrowroot…making this basically a whole, healthy food. At 88 calories for an ounce serving…not bad. NOT BAD AT ALL.

All photos courtesy of the awesome Joel! Actual sandwiches by Meave.


Recipe: Yogurt!  »

Inspired by being broke, loving food, and having a certain amount of free time, Joel and I made yogurt last weekend. What with my love of yogurt and Joel’s love of making everything at home, it seemed like a good idea, especially considering we could make plain yogurt that, presumably, wouldn’t have that awful mayonnaise taste of commercial plain soy yogurts. We followed this this suspiciously easy-looking recipe that Joel found in The New York Times.

soy yogurt
(the ratio is one quart soymilk to two tablespoons soy yogurt)

measuring spoon
small bowl
one-quart-plus capacity jar/bowl with a lid
thermometer (optional, but recommended)
cheesecloth (optional, but recommended)

A note: We used plain, unsweetened, organic WestSoy brand soymilk (ingredients: soy beans, water); this gave our yogurt an unmistakably soy flavor. Results, I assume, will vary with different soymilks.

First, pour your soymilk into the pot; heat until it reaches between 180 and 190 degrees Fahrenheit, or when it’s steaming and starting to bubble. Turn off the heat and let the milk sit until it reaches about 115-120 degrees F/ it is warm but no longer steaming.  Of course, this “steaming” business also depends on the temperature of your house, so it is probably better to have a cooking thermometer. Anyway, once the soymilk has cooled off, pour a little bit of it into a small bowl, and mix with the two tablespoons of soy yogurt. We used Whole Soy brand vanilla flavor, because that was what I had in the fridge. Now, pour the yogurt mixture into the pot of soymilk, and stir to combine.

Next, pour the contents of the pot into your jar/lidded bowl/some kind of insulated bottle, if you have one of those in the right size, and cover it. What you want to do now is keep this container in a warm place, like inside  your oven with the light on. That worked for the author of the Times article; because his oven doesn’t have a light, Joel heated his oven to 350, turned it off, waited until it reached about 100 degrees, and put the jar inside. Then, you wait.

During this waiting period, which the first time took something like 36-48 hours, let’s talk about why we love yogurt. You might call it an obsession, but there’s a lot to say and you have a lot of waiting to do, so let’s get to it.

Back when I was an uneducated, dairy-loving young’un, I ate as much plain yogurt as I could. My mother basically raised me on plain yogurt, homemade bread, and Moosewood recipes; she used to make her own yogurt, which was the best I’d ever tasted. Once it had cooled, you could take your spoon and skim the top layer of delicate little bubbles off, with just a smidgen of actual yogurt, and then you licked it off and smiled and plunged your spoon right into the center of the yogurt and turned it around in one perfect circle, and put that first proper spoonful of yogurt into your mouth and oh it was so creamy and tart and tangy and smooth.

In short, before I gave up dairy for the sake of the cows (the cows!), I was a goddamn yogurt connoisseur.

We never bought flavored yogurt, the option being stir some jam in it if you want taste variety, otherwise shut it because we are not buying that sugar- and preservatives-laden “flavored” yogurt ever, fruit on the bottom my ass, more like teeth- and brain-destroying fruit-like substance taking up room in an environmentally unfriendly little cup. My mother did not stand for any of that nonsense. Even now, she buys the biggest containers (read: 64 ounces) of plain nonfat yogurt she can, and then reuses the container until, well, I have never actually seen her dispose of a piece of Tupperware (or its generic cousins). Her cupboard still houses plastic containers she bought in South Korea in 1983.

But I digress. Have you checked on your jar lately? Is it yogurt yet? Don’t worry, soon enough it will look like this, and you will be the envy of all your friends:

When I finally said NO MORE to dairy, I was going through a particularly insane part of my life, during which I ate mostly Kashi GoLean with super-reduced-fat soymilk (plus calcium! and fiber!), fruit, and the occasional sandwich. Soy yogurt will never live up to the perfect yogurt of my childhood, I would say to myself on one of many, many six(ish)-mile jogs. There is obviously no point in trying it because it will only disappoint, now keep running, lazy. Then I would go home and make a super-duper-low-calorie-high-protein shake with exactly 1/2 cup of the aforementioned soymilk and a tablespoon of flaxseed meal. Sometimes I added frozen berries. Yes, it was grayish-pinkish in color and tasted like sweet, cold sludge, but it was very precise. VERY PRECISE.

Today, three years later, with the help of drugs, a nutritionist, and a very patient and gluttonous boyfriend (lifetime member, Clean Plate Club), I eat lots of food, I prepare lots of food, and have discovered that among other things that I make a mean vegan cinnamon roll. Still, this did not solve the soy yogurt problem. Problem, you say? Lots of vegans don’t eat soy yogurt and have very good diets and lead fulfilling lives full of joy. However, thanks to many many years of crazy behavior, my digestive system still doesn’t trust me to give it adequate nutrition on a regular basis. So, it revolts.

Break time: check your yogurt! It should look something like this:

the soymilk has solidified into yogurt! Awesome! If it doesn’t, put it back in the oven and wait a while.

To stop the bacteria from doing any further work, which you must do!, immediately put your new yogurt in the fridge until cool. When it’s cool, you can eat it, hooray! If you want really thick, creamy yogurt, though, you need to strain the whey out of it. Further instructions to follow.

Lorraine, I said to my nutritionist one day, none of my pants fit your eating plan has turned me into a monster and I hate you. You’re probably bloated, she said, rolling her eyes, and you haven’t gained any weight so calm down and try eating yogurt. That’s when the dearth of edible soy yogurts became a problem. Bravely, I confronted the problem head-on, determined to fill my gut with the happy bacteria it loves.

For a while, Wildwood was the yogurt for me. Then, just like Soy Dream in 2003, Wildwood changed its “formula,” so what had been good yogurt was now weird-textured glop (DAMN IT). I used to hate Whole Soy, but it grew on me, I don’t know, and now, for flavored yogurt, it’s all right. Some of So Delicious’ soy and coconut yogurts are all right, too. Everything has been pretty adequate, you know? Sure, yogurts cost about $1 per six-ounce cup and sure, buying them individually isn’t environmentally friendly, but what else can a person do?

The answer, DUH, is make yogurt. And it is time to check yours. We were straining it, right? OK. Here it is, all wet and fresh from the fridge.

Now, pour the yogurt into some cheesecloth, suspend the cheesecloth over a bowl, and let it stand for a couple of hours (seriously, somewhere between two and three). The longer you let it drain, the thicker your yogurt will be.

When you and the yogurt are ready, take the yogurt out of the cheesecloth and put it into a container. Apparently you can mix the whey with some sugar or salt and drink it cold, or use it to make bread, or, I don’t know, use it in a smoothie instead of water. The whey is full of riboflavin, a.k.a. vitamin B2. As for the yogurt, throw it back in the fridge until chilled, and serve however you like. Joel enjoys it with b-grade maple syrup, which makes a nice contrast to the super-tart, super-“earthy” flavor of the yogurt. I recommend the following recipe:

Mash one banana, as ripe as you can stand, with a fork in a bowl. Add around one cup of plain yogurt, and mix with fork until combined. Add cardamom—don’t be afraid to use a heavy hand. Mix again, add more cardamom if necessary, and a dash of cinnamon. Ta da! Banana yogurt. The combination of cardamom and banana and yogurt is just heavenly, tart, sweet, delicious. If you have fresh strawberries or raspberries, throw some in as well, you will not regret it.

There you go, you have yogurt! Minimal effort, and after your (again, optional but recommended) initial investment in a thermometer and cheesecloth, all you have to buy ever again is the soymilk! Most important now is remembering to save enough yogurt from the last batch to make the next one. Now you are free to blend and bake and cook with yogurt whenever you like; no more ridiculous 7 a.m./10 p.m. trips to the store because you promised you’d make whatever without checking to see if you had yogurt because HA HA you will always have some. Aren’t you healthy and economically minded and environmentally concerned and clever?

Also very good-looking. Good digestion contributes to glowing skin.

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