In Boulder, Colo., on Sunday night, a hundreds of people held a candlelight vigil for a bull elk killed by a police officer and a sheriff’s deputy on Jan. 1. Mourners were angered and saddened, telling the Boulder Daily Camera that “It was a beautiful, beautiful elk” who they felt was a “guardian” and “ part of the neighborhood,” who had returned to the Mapleton Hill area for two years.
Get the full story at the Daily Camera, where you can learn such fun facts as the police officer suspected of killing the elk owns a taxidermy website, and see the photos the men took of their kill. People in Boulder are rightfully very angry about their harmless neighborhood elk being killed just for being their harmless neighborhood elk.
Edit: The video is down! But it’s very sweet; go watch it at the Daily Camera.
Bird deaths caused by avicide in USDA “shocker” »
It’s just that the starlings in South Dakota “were defecating on a farmer’s cattle feed across the state line in Nebraska,” and whoops, they dropped dead in midair, inconveniently missing the state whose resident had put a contract out on their lives altogether. Funny how that works.
This is part of an ongoing program called “Bye Bye Blackbird”—cleverly titled by some USDA employee in the ’60s—that exists solely for the “eradication” (read: MURDER) of birds that have become pests. Sorry, endangered species, but the poisons used to kill all your avian pals don’t differentiate between “good” birds and “bad” ones, so the rusty blackbird is dying alongside “pests” like those cow-feed-ruining starlings, grackles, cowbirds, and red-winged blackbirds. Whoops, again! But if the dang birds aren’t pooping everywhere they’re eating up all the feed for the cows we people need to kill to feed our gaping maws, so someone has to suffer. I know, I know—hungry birds? in the winter? Knock me over with a feather. Too bad they won’t just quietly hide away and starve to death, like nice homeless people. Thousands of birds falling dead from the sky is just so—creepy. I mean, it’s not like the USDA is going to stop using avicides, or cattle farmers won’t contract out the totally necessary bird-killing to professional murderers. Goodness.
These crosswords are way the fuck too easy.
To eat the living shit out of.
via reddit via i.imgur.com
One of my parents’ chinchillas died yesterday. She was 16. She died in her sleep, I guess; my poor mom found her little body—they’re small, but so much smaller dead—inside the glass fishbowl they liked to snuggle in together. My parents buried her in the front yard, next to some poppies; carved her a little wooden marker; cried a bit; skipped dinner.
Heartlessly, I feel bad for them, and for the sister she leaves behind, but I won’t miss her. They never really liked me, and I never really liked them, and we didn’t bond, and she was old, and if it was her time to die, then I’m grateful she was able to have what appeared to be a peaceful death.
I care about animals. But these chinchillas were supposed to be our pets, you know, our pals, and they were too wild, and we didn’t make enough effort to socialize them, and one gone eases my guilt for being a bad carer. If I’d known the responsibility that having chinchillas required, I wouldn’t have agreed to getting them so long ago; I was 11, what did I know except we missed our rats who loved us and kept dying, and chinchillas were adorable and long-lived rodents, and having them as pets meant they wouldn’t be turned into fur clothing, so why not?
So naive and selfish. I neglected my fish and he died a couple years ago; no more fish for me. I feel so guilty, like I have so much to make up for, regarding pets. I want my own animal friends so much—I like to think, you know, if they were mine, properly exclusively mine, I wouldn’t neglect them. Maybe that’s why I’m teaching these dogs new tricks, and commands in German? To prove that I’m not a neglectful, selfish asshole? Alternatively because I’m boring myself crazy.
I don’t miss the chinchilla. But I’m sorry for my parents, who do, and I’m sorry for her sister, who has to live alone for the first time in her 16-year life. I know how it feels to be left, at least. Honestly, shamefully, I’m a little sorry for myself for not feeling bad about this, but I can’t force it. It’s just—if they had ever acted like they liked me, even once, if they’d acted like they weren’t scared of me, or if I meant to them anything besides “big-faced thing that distributes raisins,” losing one might mean more.
I was slightly sadder when my mom’s mother died; barely knew her, either. Here’s a lesson: don’t neglect your family, even if they show zero interest in you. Don’t neglect the ones you love, even if they don’t love you back. What are we—OK, what am I—without an active heart? Without empathy?
Another salmonella-related meat recall »
What is this doing taking up an entire post? Bill Marler reported on an outbreak of salmonella montevideo on Marler Blog—which “provid[es] commentary on food poisoning outbreaks and litigation”—on Friday, an entire day before the USDA actually announced the recall of 1.24 million pounds of meat, is what. Obama Foodorama is rightly pissed about this, especially considering that this is a Class 1 outbreak, meaning infection could have serious consequences (read: death).
Ha ha SO CUTE. You know how salmonella outbreaks occur? Animal poo gets into the food. Exposure to high temperatures destroys the bacteria, but the recalled products this time are all salamis, which are cured meats—meaning, they don’t get cooked! Enjoy your salmonella sandwiches, fellow citizens! Something like 184 of you in 38 states already have.
Thanks, USDA, for taking such good care of us all. The only thing that makes me feel safe about food anymore is that I eat vegan, and even then it’s iffy.