Happy Valentine’s Day from Vegansaurus! Even if nobody else does, we love you. Very much. In the following ways: sexually, mentally, physically, emotionally. Imagine us doing sex on you all night long and then making you everything in Vegan Brunch for breakfast and donating $1 million to your favorite charities and gifting you a puppy who’s also a unicorn. That is how much we love you.*
Not surprisingly, we are celebrating today with food. Because food is love. Especially cake, that’s extra love. That’s how you know fat people are the most loved people on Earth. Also, the most awesome and the best-looking. So eat up, LOVERS!
Oh, and hit up the Valentine’s Day vegan bakesale at U.C. Berkeley because DUH.
*Or a kitten who’s also a dinosaur. YOUR CHOICE.