Recipe: Pink power ranch dressing! I love pink! »
You can make this with a different-colored onion, and it’ll be totally normal ranch dressing. But pink is my favorite color, and I had too many red onions, so here it is.
Pink Power Ranch Dressing
makes around 3 cups
1/2 cup vegan mayonnaise
6 oz. firm silken tofu (vacuum-packed rules!)
1/2 small red onion, peeled and roughly chopped
1/4 cup nondairy milk
juice of 1 lemon (or about 2 Tbsp. for you bottle-users)
2 tsp. mustard (I used whole-grain dijon, but I don’t give a damn if you use French’s; it’ll still probably be awesome)
1 clove garlic, peeled
1 tsp. vegan Worcestershire sauce (here is a good recipe if you can’t find it or don’t want to buy it)
1/2 tsp. celery seed
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. pepper
1 Tbsp. dried dill (or 3 Tbsp. fresh, if you’re fancy, which I’m not)
Throw everything but the dill in your food processor or blender. Process/blend forever and ever, or about a minute, until your stuff looks totally combined and there are no big chunks of onion left (nast).
Add the dill, and blend again for maybe 10 seconds this time, so you can still see little green flecks.
Transfer to a covered container of some sort, and store in the fridge for a couple-few hours before serving. This allows the flavors to blend, amateur.
Then dump it all over an otherwise healthy salad, celery sticks, buffalo “wings,” pizza crusts, and pound cake. I mean, what?!
Those are the vegan desserts at Source. Just trust that they are all fucking amazing. Vegan snowballs! Devil dogs! Twinkies! Peanut butter and jelly sandwich cookies! MAGIC! LIGHTS! Please note that any names that might infringe on Hostess territory have been changed to something more adorable and less sue-able.
Man, screw our petty copyright laws except for when they benefit me and my soon to be patented, “deepfryolatoricecreammakercookiedoughfactory.” IF YOU STEAL THAT MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON YOUR SOUL BECAUSE NOBODY ELSE WILL! (Or something else that Tommy Lee Jones has said in a movie.) (I don’t know, I’m so very very tired.)
Also! A full review of Source to come (we love) and ALSO: anyone ever been to Greece (Athens, Santorini, Crete, specifically) or Russia (Moscow, specifically)? WHAT’S GOOD TO EAT OR DO THERE? Holler at me PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I LOVE YOU AND THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT.