Not a fail, Eva Longoria. More like a beginner’s mistake  »

Dear Eva Longoria,
Hey girl! I just heard you tried to go vegan and feel kinda guilty about your epic fail. What’s this noise about not doing the research about how to nourish yourself with plant-based food? Passing out cause you subsided on salad? Not knowing almond butter exists? I’m just so confused. But don’t worry! For both our sakes, I’m here to help you with all this mind-boggling vegan stuff.

1.) I can’t help but feel that many people, when they make the transition from omnivore to vegetarian or vegan, don’t know what they are doing at first. It’s tricky to change your entire lifestyle and eating habits. Not to sound facetious, but there’s this tool a lot of us use called the internet. It’s great! I personally used it to find out how I could get my protein, iron, and vitamins from a plant-based diet! Then I made myself a handwritten list of how to make complete proteins and stuck it to the side of my refrigerator! Hey, like I said, I’m here to help you!

2.) You went from an omnivorous diet to a diet consisting of salads? Were you trying to go vegan or go raw? That’s some hardcore shit, Eva. I’d fail too! I mean, I tried a mostly raw diet and I didn’t last too long either. Let’s try some seitan buffalo wings before we move on to like, raw veggies in a collard green wrap, OK?

3.) If you need a personal vegan chef, call me. Seriously. I’ll move to Hollywood. I’ll move to Texas. Whatever you want, girlfriend. Let’s try this again. Your support system is in place!

Jenny Bradley
(vegan chef extraordinaire)

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