Hold the mother-loving phone: two zebras ran wild in Sacramento on Saturday. Can I get a general “WTF?” on this one? SFist reports that the zebras were being loaded onto a truck when they were spooked by dogs and ran for it. I can’t find out what they were doing in Sacramento but they are now back on the owner’s ranch in Oregon. Their owner is a mule-monger but zebras are his “passion.” Freak. People and their goddamn exotic animals. There’s a million homeless cats in this country but this bro is breeding zebras. On the plus side, while the zebras are back in captivity, at least they didn’t die in a hail of bullets the way the more dangerous rampaging exotic animals do.