Today’s easy, five-second activism for factory-farmed pigs  »

I’m pissed off. Earlier this week, I contracted swine flu (yes, H1N1) which really sucks and you don’t want it, not even a little for recreational purposes. I had been dwelling on how I went vegan to get away from this kind of shit, and it finally dawned on me when Maria sent along word of Farm Sanctuary’s No Downers Campaign.

Dragged, beaten, pushed with forklifts and shocked with electric prods — these are the routine methods used by workers to get pigs and other farm animals too sick, injured or weak to walk on their own onto slaughterhouse kill floors, and the reason Farm Sanctuary, the nation’s leading farm animal protection organization, is petitioning President Barak Obama to put an end to this abuse by issuing regulations to prevent these animals—called “downers”—from entering the food supply.

Swine flu is the pigs’ revenge. And like any biblical revenge scenario, retribution is arbitrary, capricious, and swift. Bacon is so ironic and awesome right now that even vegan bacon flavoring is muddying the waters as the Pig God fails to properly distinguish friend from foe.

Factory farms still suck, people, and they’re not going away. They beat the shit out of pigs, electrocute them and are constantly coming up with new and inventive means of torture. They crowd pigs together in brutal, filthy conditions until disease spreads and jumps over to humans and even cats. And if my cat gets swine flu, then we will meet in the Octagon, factory farmers, and I will end you. It’s fucking ON.

In the meantime, call it Stockholm Syndrome if you want, but I’m siding with the pigs. This is their revenge, and I can’t blame them for one second. So sign Farm Sanctuary’s petition to end the abuse of pigs. Then send it around to everyone you know and make them sign it. Their goal is 20,000 signatures to remind President Obama of his campaign pledge to give a shit about animal cruelty.

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